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Everybody thinks I'm a clown. I always laugh and joke with everybody, and tell jokes. I'm always doing something goofy or saying something funny. I figure that if I keep them laughing, they won't see what's really going on with me.
It's hard for me to smile when I feel like crying, but I'm trying to at least keep a grin plastered on my face. Everyone thinks I'm happy for them, and maybe I will be in time, but not now. I really can't blame him though. He's hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me before, but he has no idea what he's done. I plan to keep it that way.
You see, Nick Stokes got married today, and yes, I went to the wedding. Call it masochistic on my part, but I went. See, Nick never knew I was in love with him, and had been for a long time. When he saw me, he only saw his friend Greggo, the lovable puppy dog who was always there. I kept my clown face on at all times because I knew Nick would never want me the way I wanted him.
You see, I've got my pride, and I will hide my tears when I speak to Nick to congratulate him. I don't want him to know what this is doing to me, and I won't give anybody the pleasure of knowing the hurt behind the face of a clown.
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