Work Text:
Penelope Garcia sipped her venti white chocolate mocha. She smiled and sighed in pleasure. She held the cup carefully in both hands as if it was a priceless treasure. She beamed at Derek Morgan sitting next to her. “Your gift of Starbucks pleases me. Now, how can the Goddess of All Things help you?”
Derek hugged his arms across his chest. He stared down at his knees. “I don’t know.”
She set her coffee to the side. She ducked her head to try and catch his eye. “Well, what’s the problem?”
He shrugged. He peered at her for a moment but his eyes darted away. “I’m feeling…I don’t know…weird.”
“Weird how? Are you sick?”
“No,” he answered slowly. He rubbed the back of his neck but kept his other arm wrapped securely around himself. “Not really.”
She studied him intently. “When did this weird feeling start?”
He frowned. “I….” his voice trailed off. Suddenly, he tensed even more. “I…I don’t remember.”
She put a friendly arm around his shoulders. “The Goddess can’t help you if you lie,” she said lightly but with conviction.
He still refused to look at her. “It’s nothing.”
She elbowed him and said sweetly, “You may be my Chocolate god but you’re beginning to test my patience.”
“It’s nothing. I was just thinking about that case in Sarasota a few months back.”
“And?”
“Nothing.” He tried to stand but she wouldn’t release him. “We caught the guys,” he said irritably.
“I see,” she said cheerfully. “Wasn’t it after you came back that you and Dave called it quits?”
He swallowed. “Yeah,” he answered barely loud enough for her to hear.
Penelope leaned in close to Derek’s ear. “You never told me why.”
Derek jerked his head away and glared at her. “That’s cause it’s none of your business.”
She just grinned and batter her eyelashes innocently. “Could it be because our dear Italian profiler heard you say that you didn’t know what it’s like to be in love with another man?”
Derek’s jaw dropped. “How did you…” he stuttered.
She gave his shoulders a squeeze. “Well, I am the Goddess of All Things.” She lightly tapped his nose. “And you know what your problem is?”
“I’m almost afraid to find out.”
Penelope held his gaze. “You were wrong,” she said earnestly. “You do know what it’s like.”
“No,” Derek stammered.
She laughed and kissed his cheek. “You’re blushing.”
“I can’t be in love with David Rossi.”
She just tilted her head to the side and stared at him.
He looked at her with wide eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m a prize winning idiot. Like when I said that I like Spaceballs better than Evil Dead or chocolate more than vanilla or that I prefer Daniel Craig’s Bond over Pierce Brosnan or that Mel Brooks’ best movie is Blazing Saddles not The Producers.”
She cracked a smile. “Actually it’s Young Frankenstein.”
They stared at each other for a long moment before they both started laughing. Derek collapsed back in his seat. He looked at her mournfully. “I really am in love with him, ain’t I?”
Penelope grinned widely and grabbed her coffee. “I’m afraid so. This is your lucky day. It’s mutual.”
Derek opened his mouth and shut it again. He took her hand and kissed it. “I won’t argue with the Goddess of All Things.”
She giggled and shooed him away. “If I was you, I’d show up on his doorstep armed with a bottle of wine and that patented puppy dog look.”
He stood. “Wish me luck.”
She waved that off. “You don’t need luck. The Goddess has blessed this adventure.”
He kissed the top of her head. “See ya later.”
She waited until he was out in the hall and called, “And I want details. Details!”
Derek laughed and called back, “You got it, Goddess.”