Work Text:
Title: Talking Smack
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagen, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay
Pairing: McShep
Authors: squidgiepdx and elderwitty (Yes, yet another SquidgieWitty Joint!)
Wordcount: 450ish
Rating: PG
Authors Notes: (squidgiepdx) My partner and I were once unknowingly observed by a third person, who came up to us after a few minutes and said, "Wow. You guys just had an entire conversation, and you didn't open your mouths once." It's true – we were communicating, just not verbally. I wanted to write McShep in this vein. All "trash talk" is in single quotes following a colon. (elderwitty) I'd like to take a lap in the Reasonably-Priced Car.
~*~*~
Ronon leaves the mess line with his tray piled with enough food to feed a small army. Or - as Atlantis has come to know it - his usual Monday night dinner. As he nears the table occupied by John and Rodney, he grunts the equivalent of "Can I join you?" (which sounds very much like "I'll be joining you") before setting his tray down.
Teyla joins the trio a few minutes later and immediately looks at Ronon with concern. She surveys his tray before returning her attention to his face. His food is untouched, and his gaze is fixed on Sheppard and McKay. "Ronon?"
He breaks off his examination of the men and turns to Teyla. "What?" His eyes cut to slits as he focuses on the pair again. "You seeing this?"
Two sets of eyes now study John and Rodney, who are clearly, at least to Ronon, doing a lot of talking without opening their mouths. It's all in the eyes and facial expressions.
John raises an eyebrow: 'Buddy, I think they're on to us.'
Rodney rolls his eyes, glaring at his partner while disdainfully pursing his lips: 'You really think Neanderthal man over there knows what we're saying?'
"Hey..." Ronon growls.
John's eyes widen slightly and the tendons in his neck stand out briefly: 'See?'
"Ronon," Teyla says thoughtfully. "I see nothing unusual."
Rodney smirks triumphantly at John: 'If insightful Teyla can't understand us, I highly doubt caveman over there can.'
Ronon's growl deepens. "What did you call me?" he demands, pointing his fork at the scientist.
"So. You guys ready for P6X-T38 tomorrow?" John asks Teyla and Ronon, trying to defuse the tension. "Seems like we might be able to get some more of that near-chicken stuff they have." He turns back to Rodney, puppy dog eyes pleading: 'Come on now, knock it off.'
Ronon grunts, adding, "Yeah, McKay. What Sheppard said."
"What?" Rodney asks, picking at his food and aiming for innocence.
"You forget," Ronon responds. "I was married once. I know what you're doing."
Rodney smirks and rolls his eyes at Ronon, turning his gaze back to Sheppard: 'Like we're really married.'
"You might as well be," Ronon pronounces.
Rodney turns to Ronon, lowering his head in apology, big eyes smiling shyly at the Satedan: 'Yeah, well... Thanks.'
Ronon grins, inclining his head generously while closing and opening his eyes in a slow, meaningful blink: 'You're welcome.'
Sheppard watches the byplay in bewilderment, focus shifting from Ronon to Rodney, and back again, before landing on Teyla, who has been watching her tablemates quizzically. "What?" he asks her.
"I don't think I will ever understand you three," she sighs. She rolls her eyes and thinks to herself, 'Men!'.