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I am not gay. I am not gay. Ran over and over through the mind of the head of U.N.C.L.E.’s chief enforcement agent. It wasn’t until his Russian partner entered the room and walked over to the other desk in the room, his head buried in a folder, that he voiced his thoughts aloud. “I… am… not… gay.”
Illya Kuryakin, his eyes hidden behind dark glasses, did not even bother looking up from his work. “Of course not, Napoleon,” he said placidly. “You just bed anyone indiscriminately.”
That was unfair. Napoleon didn’t have sex with just anyone and certainly not with other males. No need to let Illya know that though. Napoleon had a reputation to keep. “I didn’t use to before you,” he said accusingly.
Illya finally raised his head to stare in disbelief at his partner. “You do realize I am homosexual.”
“No you’re not.” The statement almost a plead.
Illya shrugged and went back to his papers. “If it bothers you that much, I can find someone else.” Last night had not been the first time and he sincerely doubted that it would be the last.
Napoleon’s face went pale. That wasn’t what he wanted at all. “I don’t want you being with anyone else.”
“I would wish for the same of you. But I won’t get it, will I?”
Silence pervaded the room while Napoleon considered. Women didn’t quite hold the allure they once had. He supposed he could give them up if he had to. “You might.”
“That makes me happy,” Illya, careful not to smile, responded and waited for the expected groan at his pun.