Work Text:
What Wonderful Friends!
by Pirate Turner
Octavius edged his way slowly out of the Hall of Miniatures. It was far too quiet for the Roman General. He made his way slowly through the museum with his sword drawn and at the ready. No sound met his ears, and his heart thundered in his chest.
Where were his friends, his family? Where was his delightfully amusing and arousing Jedediah or even the annoying Larry? What had happened to every one while he slept? The artificial lighting was not even on!
Octavius stealthily made his way from room to room, desperately seeking any sign of life, but he could find none. His shouts as he called for his loved ones rang throughout the museum, but not even Dexter's chattering or Rexie's roars answered him.
It was only when he reached the foyer of the museum that Octavius finally spotted movement. A small green eye blinked at him from the darkness, and he heard a strange, humming noise he'd never noticed before. He faced the eyeball with his sword pointed at the monster. "Fiend!" he cried. "What have you done to my friends? Deliver them to me now, or I shall run you through!"
The eyeball blinked again.
"I warn you," Octavius told the monster, "I am a General of the Roman Empire! Neither I nor you shall rest easy until you have released my friends unto me!"
The eyeball blinked again.
"Do not disregard me, heathen!"
When the eyeball blinked a fourth time, Octavius charged forward with one last warning cry erupting from his lungs. The monster neither shrank away from his impending attack nor rushed to meet him, and Octavius had to climb a long way up before he was able to reach him. Though he was breathing hard by the time he arrived on level with the eyeball, he still charged bravely forward. His blows were strengthened by his fear for his friends, and his sword was a flash of silver as he cut at the thing.
It cowered upon the desk and made an awful screeching noise as he hit it. "Return to me my friends!" he demanded, striking it again. "I will only cease my reign of terror when you have freed my friends!"
He continued to hit the screaming monster with the one blinking eye again and again, calling for freedom for his friends with each blow, until a light flicked on. As the golden aura chased away the darkness and illuminated his surroundings, Octavius looked ahead of him in confusion. His unrelenting blows had split the monster into two, and its two pieces looked like boxes. One was long and flat while the other was slightly curved, black in the face, and smaller than its companion. There was a long crack in the top part's black face from where Octavius' sword had struck it, and smoke spilled from both halves.
Octavius poked the bizarre creature with his sword. Why had the strange beast not fought more? Its eyeball had closed and no longer blinked open. How was he going to find his friends now that he had sent their captor to its grave and it had taken its secrets with it?
"Shit!"
Octavius whirled toward the sharp exclamation. "Larry!" he cried, a smile bursting upon his face. "It released you!"
"Huh?" Larry looked from his destroyed computer to Octavius. "You better have a damn good reason for this!"
"The monster," Octavius explained, gesturing at the crumpled beast with his sword. "It had you, but I defeated it! It must have released whatever hold it had upon you when I slayed it!"
"Huh . . . Octavius, that's my computer," Larry ground out. "Actually, the museum's computer, and now I'm gonna have to explain to them why it was destroyed."
Octavius frowned. Only Larry Daley would be upset at being freed by his captor's slaughter! "Simply tell them the truth," he replied. "Tell them how it had you captive until I, Octavius, freed you!"
"Like that's gonna work! Do you know what they'll do if I tell them some Roman General who's supposed to be dead cut up their computer because he thought it had me captive?! They will capture me! They'll wrap me up in a tight, little, white jacket; lock me away; and throw away the key!"
"Aw, man!" Jedediah's voice sounded. "The cavemen're in the cake! Hurry up, Larry! Get Octavius in here already!"
Octavius looked even more puzzled as he turned toward the door. "My Jedediah beckons me!" There was cake?
Even as he wondered the last, a chunk of richly frosted cake sailed out of the next room and hit Larry square in the face. Both men could plainly hear the hooting laughter of the cavemen as Larry wiped the cake off of his face. Octavius reached over and swiped his fingers over the night guard's hand. He licked the food from his dark fingers. "Mmm! Chocolate! My favorite!" He grinned at Larry, whose rising anger he still couldn't understand. "What is the occasion?"
Larry flashed his brown eyes at Octavius and then snatched away when the Roman General moved to swipe another bite of cake. "Don't touch me!" he snapped.
"Larry, I did not mean to offend," Octavius offered, "but what is the occasion? I must know, and it must be something important! I've not had cake in over twenty centuries!"
A whistle from the doorway of the room brought Octavius' attention to Jedediah who leaned his tiny frame against the paneling with a look of impatience upon his handsome face. "You're the occasion, dag nab it!" he called. "Now will ya hurry up 'fore there's no cake left?"
"I am?" Octavius questioned, clearly confused.
"Yeah!"
"I was looking at your file the other day," Larry explained, "and realized that today would have been the real Octavius' birthday. It should be yours too then, so we decided to throw you a party which," he cut a fierce glare at Jedediah, "was supposed to be a surprise, damn it, Jed! Can't anything go right today?!" He should have known better than to try to throw a surprise party with this lot!
Larry continued to fume silently, but then his anger evaporated as he felt Octavius staring at him, lowered his eyes, and fell into the complete astonishment, true awe, and utter gratitude shining in the Roman's dark orbs and upon his handsome face.
"You . . . created this festivity to celebrate my anniversary?"
Larry nodded.
"An anniversary of which I was not even aware?"
Larry shrugged sheepishly.
A huge smile lit up Octavius' face. "Thank you, Larry! No one has ever celebrated my anniversary before!" He flustered. "Well, they have the real Octavius," he admitted sheepishly, "but never mine!" Before Larry could stop him, Octavius bumped his chest against his hand and then hugged his fingers tightly.
Tears caught in Larry's throat as the warrior hugged him. He found himself wishing yet again that there was not such a huge difference in their sizes. At least then he could have hugged him back . . .
"Hey! I helped get everythin' together!" Jedediah protested. "Where's my hug?"
"Coming, my exuberant cowboy," Octavius called reassuringly, his smile growing even larger. Octavius smiled back up at Larry. "I thank you, Larry, from the bottom most of my heart. Although . . . perhaps next time, you could allow me to know about my celebration in advance so that we might prevent the Neanderthals from eating my cake? I would," he admitted, "like to have my cake and eat it too."
Larry was at first miffed at Octavius' presumption, but then his smile warmed his heart again and his anger eased. There would be another time. With friends like the ones he'd been blessed with, there would always be another time.
"Sure," Larry told him with a smile as he set him carefully down upon the floor. "Go on to the party. Save a piece of cake for me if you can, but go have fun. I'll be along in a minute. I've got to put this out first." He jerked his thumb at the destroyed computer where a small fire was beginning to build.
Octavius looked forlornly at the "beast". "It was not a monster, after all, was it?"
"No."
"I do apologize, but I thought it had taken you all from me . . . "
"It's okay, Octavius." Larry's index finger reassuringly stroked the tiny man's shoulder as he wished again that he was as tall as his spirit or, at least, as tall as Larry himself and he found, to his surprise, that he truly meant his words. It was indeed okay. A computer and another fuss with McPhee in the morning were small prices to pay in return for the bonds and life he shared with friends who were much more like his family.
"Go on." He very carefully gave him a tinny push in his back. "Go party. I'll be just a minute." He watched as Octavius ran for the room where his party, Jedediah, and the rest were waiting, his tiny red cape flapping in the breeze. The Roman General embraced Jedediah before entering his birthday party. Larry heard a belated shout of "SURPRISE!" followed by "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OCTAVIUS!" go up from all their friends and then turned, with a huge smile lighting his own face, to fetch the nearest fire extinguisher.
Computers, evil Pharaohs, and anything else the world might throw at him were indeed small prices to pay in exchange for such remarkable friends! "Happy birthday, Octie," he whispered as he heard their friends begin to joyously sing the Happy Birthday song. He joined in as he blew out the fire and continued to reflect upon their loving bonds that could never be extinguished by any force and how lucky he was to have such wonderful friends in his life.
The End