Work Text:
Danny's Secret
by Pirate Turner
DJ tried not to roll her eyes as her father started to sing along with the car radio, thumping his fingers along the steering wheel in his attempt to keep with the tune. To his daughter, Danny was off tune, but then, to her, he was always off beat. He didn't think about that that morning, however, for his mind kept racing back to Jesse.
"Jessie is a friend, yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine"
Jesse had been a good friend. He couldn't have asked for a better one, and he knew what he felt was wrong. Jesse was the brother to the wife he had buried, and Danny had Joey. He should have been content, but yet every time Jesse tossed his head, Danny's eyes were drawn to his hair. Last night, Jesse had slipped into the kitchen with his shirt off, and Danny had nearly swallowed his own tongue. He'd not been able to rid his mind of the sweltering image since then.
"And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it
Yeah 'n' he's holding her in his arms late, late at night "
Jesse's naked skin shone in Danny's mind, and his body swelled in response. He wondered what it would be like to touch him just once, to stroke his muscles, to taste his tan, to hold him close and make love to him just once . . . So lost was he in the thoughts he knew he should not be having that Danny didn't even realize when his words changed from that of the song.
"You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a man like that"
DJ's head snapped up, and her eyes flew to her father. Was she crazy, or had she really just heard her father sing that he wanted a man?! Her mouth opened, but she quickly closed it. She could tell from her father's eyes that he was completely lost in his thoughts and knew that, if she just kept quiet, the questions buzzing in her mind would soon be answered.
"I play along with the charade, there doesn't seem to be a reason to change
You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
I wanna tell him that I love him, but the point is rather moot
'Cos he's watching him with those eyes
And he's lovin' him with that body, I just know it
And he's holding him in his arms late, late at night
You know, I wish that I had Jessie
I wish that I had Jessie
Where can I find a man like that
Like Jessie, I wish that I had Jessie
Where can I find a man
Where can I find a man like that"
DJ stared at her father, her mouth hanging wide open. They came to a light, and, though Danny went through the motions of stopping at the red light, he remained completely lost in his thoughts and feelings. DJ continued to stare in shock as he sang on.
"And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time, wondering what he don't see in me
I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way love's supposed to be
Tell me, where can I find a man like that "
A horn blew behind them, causing both father and daughter to jump. DJ quickly snapped her mouth shut as Danny looked at her sheepishly. "Sorry, Dej."
She nodded mutely. "It -- It's okay -- " What was he apologizing for? He didn't seem to be freaking out, so he must still not realize what he had been singing. He couldn't possibly be this calm if he knew she knew his secret . . . Could he?
Danny turned his attention back to the traffic as he pulled out. He continued to sing, never missing a word and, yet, never realizing that he had made possibly the greatest slip of his entire life.
"You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl, I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I want Jessie's girl, where can I find a woman like that, like
Jessie's girl, I wish that I had Jessie's girl, I want, I want Jessie's girl "
DJ just stared at her father and shook her head. Every look she had seen her father give her uncles a certain look, every time she'd caught their hands touching, every time she'd thought she'd seen their feet brushing against one another's underneath the kitchen table, the lack of women in their lives . . . It all made perfect sense now.
She continued to stare at her father as she gazed at him in the brand new light she now saw and understood, but ever so slowly, a smile began to spread over the blonde girl's face. Her father was gay! He would understand! She didn't have to fear for the day she told him about kissing Kimmy Gibler. She didn't have to worry he'd disown her or hate her because she was different. Her family would accept her, because gosh darn it, the adults were already gay!
When Danny pulled his car up in front of DJ's school and turned to face his daughter, he wondered why she was smiling goofily from ear to ear. "Don't forget to give Stephanie's teacher the note about her being sick." He leaned closer as DJ continued to grin like crazy. "DJ, are you okay?" He touched her forehead and checked for a fever, but there was none.
"I'm great, Dad!" she exclaimed. "In fact, I've never been better!" She leaned forward, wrapped her arms around her father, and gave him a tight hug. "I'm so lucky to have you guys! I love you!"
"Hum . . . Thanks . . . " Danny spoke slowly, clearly puzzled over his daughter's unusual behavior, as she pulled away, grabbed her backpack, and got out of the car. "I love you too!" He grinned at her, and DJ smiled back. Then she shut the door and turned to greet a brand new day that had just been made a hundred times brighter.
Danny smiled as he watched his little girl walk to school. He knew he was lucky to have his daughters and both Joey and Jesse helping him to take care of them and loving him, even if Jesse would never love him in the manner that he longed for him to love him. Danny would never tell him. He knew that for not only would Jesse reject him for he was in a league far beyond Danny's but it would break Joey's heart, something Danny never wanted to do for he still loved him too.
It would just be his little secret, he decided as he peeled away from the curb, and he'd never tell a soul. His heart might not be perfect, he knew, but his life was, and keeping that one forbidden thought secret was well worth having the life he enjoyed and the most wonderful family any guy could ever love.
As they headed on their way, Danny and DJ whistled the same tune. He would have never believed that his daughter was also whistling the song, or that it had just become DJ's favorite song, but then it would be years before he learned that he'd told her everything she needed to hear that day, erased all her fears, and assured her that she'd always have the love of her family, which was all she'd ever really need. Even then, DJ would never tell of Danny's secret longing for Jesse for by then, she would know that Danny and Joey were together and would never do anything to hurt her father or either of her uncles. Her father's secret would go to the grave with them.
The End