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2020-11-05
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Persistance of Vision Part 1: "Eyes of the Heart"

Summary:

Roy Mustang may have lost his sight--but not his Vision."We were mortal men who allowed ourselves to become monsters. It is time for State Alchemists to serve the People again. I plan to make that my mission from this point on."  

"It is only with the eyes of the heart that one can see clearly"--Antoine Saint-Exupery

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Persistence of Vision  Part 1: Eyes of the Heart
By The Binary Alchemist  2009

    "I passed Hawkeye a minute ago. Damn, Colonel, what did you say to her?"
    "What was needful and necessary." A pause. "Coffee?"
    "On your right. The sugar-"
    "-got it. And I can measure it myself."
    "Wha-how'd you figure it out?"
    "Never measured it before." He was smiling now. "I just grabbed the shaker and counted 'one-two'. That was always sweet enough. Still works."
    "Didn't spill any. Not bad."
    "I'm learning to slow down my hand motion and stop when I feel the warmth of the cup."
    "Speaking of your hands-"
    "May did a good job. I appreciate it." He flexed his fingers vigorously. "No tendon damage."
    Silence. "But she can't do anything about your eyes?"
    Roy turned in the direction of Fullmetal's voice. He brushed his hair back from his forehead and opened his lids wide. "She can repair damage. She can't replace what is gone. Hohenheim said the same thing to Izumi. How do they look? Everybody's being so..polite. Rather annoying, I think. The Lieutenant won't look directly at me," he added dryly, shaking his head.
    "How would you know that?"
    "When she talks...her voice echoes, like she's got her back turned."
    "She's....I dunno..."
    Mustang took a cautious sip, then swallowed deeply. His left hand touched the table's surface before his right hand lowered the cup. "She's furious...if she'd admit it to herself."
    Ed glanced out the window towards the miserable figure hunched on the steps, wiping her eyes. Beside her, Pinako was speaking earnestly, pipe stem waggling between her teeth. "Bullshit. She's hurt."
    "No. She's angry. I know her better than you do, Ed." His fingers found the rim of his plate and he maneuvered the sandwich close, then leaned in for a bite. A dab of mustard smeared across his cheek. Ed fought the urge to wipe it off. Roy wouldn't thank him for that. Mustang wiped up with the napkin in his lap and felt his cheek to be sure it was clean. "Getting better, " he confirmed. "I'll be ready to try a knife and fork soon enough."
    "Soup's gonna be a bitch," Ed observed before closing the curtains. He'd seen enough. "She's crying her eyes out over you."
    "Edward-she's crying for herself. Because she's created a role for herself in my life. She has a firm image of what she is to me-and what I will need now that I can't see. And it's not what I want. "
    "I think she loves you, Roy."
    Roy nodded slowly. "And let me explain something to you, Edward. There's love...and there's love. She wasn't given good role models when she was growing up. Master was absorbed in his studies and her mother was long dead. I was the one person she could depend upon when he died-the one who stepped in and took care of everything. When she's my subordinate, she's a magnificent person-she's self assured, she's courageous, she's the consummate soldier. Even Bradley would have to admit that. But," he looked pensive, "emotional dependency isn't love, Ed. Every time I was in danger, she fell to pieces. I warned her about that, and I was dead serious. She said she'd follow me to the grave if I died. If she truly loved me...she'd fight to live. I don't need that love-it's obsessive. It's not the love of equals-and it's not a sentiment I return.  It doesn't help her grow-and it's suffocating. "
    Edward studied his own coffee in silence. At last, he sighed. "I know, Roy. Believe me-I know."
    Roy's hand missed the cup by an inch this time but he caught the handle at last and guided it to his lips. "Where's Winry?"
    "Taking Al for a walk."
    "Ah."
    Ed made an ironic snort  that made Mustang chuckle. "Hey, no metal anymore," he said, slapping his new arm. " I wonder if she'd have gotten all hung up if I'd stayed in one piece the whole time. Made it pretty awkward to be around her a lot of the time, once she..y'know...decided she didn't want to be my sister anymore."
    "You're all right with this?"
    Ed smiled. "Yeah. Relieved, actually. She's all focused on getting Al's strength back. He's...he's always had a thing for her. She couldn't see it. Maybe she'll see it now." It did feel good. Surprisingly good.  "I think she went kinda insane a little. Hormones. Women get like that. She needs to be needed. She's got her clients. And now she's got Al.  "
    "And I'm sure you arrived at that conclusion as a result of your vast worldly experience with women."
    The barb made Ed grin. If Roy could joust with him again, then he was gonna be all right. "Fuck you. You're not my boss anymore."
    "No, I'm not," Mustang laughingly agreed. "One of many things I'm thankful for, along with the restoration of your bodies."
    "So...what will you do? I mean, " he added nervously, "I guess..I mean, you're not going to be Fuehrer if you can't..you know."
    "No pupils, Ed. That's what you told me. My eyes are empty. At the very least, the sight is apt to be unnerving. Worse things have happened to better people. I've spoken with Pinako and with Dr. Knox and as soon as we've recuperated  a bit longer, I'm  heading to Central. There's a Blind School there. I need to learn to touch-read. I need to use a cane. And I've already put my name down for a guide dog. They will find a trainer to work with me and they say in a year I'll graduate to full independence.  I told them," he looked smug now, "six months. There's no time to waste."
    Ed looked slightly alarmed. "Six months? That's fuckin' crazy. Think about how much you'll have to learn-"
    "Think about who learned to use automail in one year. And Ran Fan learned in half that. The only limits are the ones we set upon ourselves. And I have a mission to motivate me. You may be interested in it yourself."
    "Colonel...Roy...now waitaminute-"
    "I'm not a soldier anymore-but I am a State Alchemist. With the approval of the Amestrian Parliament, I intend to restructure the entire State Alchemist system. 'Be Thou For The People'. That's the creed, right?"
    "Yeah, but-"
    "-but nothing, Ed. We were mortal men who allowed ourselves to become monsters. It's time the State Alchemists become servants of the people again. I intend to make that my mission from this point on."
    He's right. It has to be done. That's what my whole point was with assholes like Loki and the miners and Huskisson with that freakin' uranium bomb. We shouldn't be blowing up cities-we should be building them, There's a lot we can do. Someday, once Al's strong enough, maybe we can-"
    "I can't do it alone. I need a partner."
    In the silence that followed he could hear Winry and Al laughing together over apple pie in the kitchen...and the sound of Riza Hawkeye's car driving back to the train station.
    "So...Roy...you wanna be a Hero of the People too?" he asked softly.
    The gloves were gone forever. Thanks to May, the hand offered to Ed was as strong as it had ever been.
 His new fingers clasped it tightly.
    "All that was taken was my sight, Ed. Not my vision."
    
    
    
The End