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The dark shape of the Impala roared down the asphalt. Rubber eating up the miles between them and there murder scene. The brothers had been silent for hours. One trying to find a way out of this hopelessness. The other trying to find a way to ease his angel's pain.
The things they'd learned in there short trip to the after life had broken Cas, broken him in a way Dean had never seen. Cas was his rock, the immovable force that gave him hope and faith- if not in God then in the angel himself and what he believed. He knew he couldn't fix it, couldn't wipe the hurt and betrayal away, but he had to do something. He had to.
They pulled into Bobby's, still silent, and burdened. Dean left Sam to explain things to Bobby, ignoring the righteous indignation spewing colourfully from the older hunter. He needed to get to his angel, figure out where he was and go to him. It hit him in a flash.
"Sam, I know where he is, I gotta go."
"Dean!? Wait, I'll come."
"No Sammy, I need to do this. Just stay here and try to find a way out of this."
Bobby snickered, "What the Hell you think we've been doing for the last nine months?!"
Dean cocked his head in a helpless and plaintiff gesture.
"Ah, get out of here. Sam and I got work to do."
Dean wasted no time getting to his baby and revving her to life.
Five hours later, he pulled up to a familiar spot. It was dusk, and the last of groups of families, lovers, and friends were packing up to head home. Leaving an expanse of fresh green grass, swings and slides and playing fields, and a quiet dark haired man in a rumpled tan trench coat sitting on a park bench where he had once confided to Dean that he, himself, had doubts. Dean walked quietly towards his angel, hoping he wouldn't disappear in a flutter of wings and desperation.
"What do you want, Dean?" asked a gruff, hard voice tinted with traces of something Dean recognized all too well as sorrow.
The hunter walked the few steps to his angel; sitting down next to him on the bench. Knees brushing each other, and Dean's arms stretched out along the top, bent so his elbow touched Cas' shoulder. For long minutes they didn't speak just watched the world.
Soon Dean's posture moved from open and outgoing, which he truly didn't feel, but he'd hoped would comfort his angel, to slouched and contemplative. He wanted to find the words to comfort Castiel, but despite his boisterous nature, he was note a man of words. "Cas-"
"No Dean," he cut off the hunter with the wistful words. "It doesn't matter anymore."
"Of course it does."
He turned, jaw tense with holy anger, "How?" he ground out. "God," he spat as if it left a distasteful sensation in his entire being, "has abandoned us, humanity."
"He may have, but that's no reason for us to give up," the calm tone of Dean's rich voice surprising both man and angel, "no reason to lose faith."
Dean huffed, "Hell Cas, if that were reason to give up, I would've so long ago.
"You remember when we first met," Dean smiled, shaking his head at how far they'd come, "you scared the Hell outta me. Then you told me to have faith." Dean chuckled, eyes turning up to roam the darkening sky, pinpoints of light slowly popping into view. "I've lost count of how many times you've said that."
"You were right not to believe," the angel said quietly.
A small smile played at Dean's lips, "No. Thing is I did, do believe, just not in what you wanted me to. I still have things to fight for."
Castiel turned his stern set features to Dean, his eyes shining a foreign pale blue, "And what do you believe in?"
"Family, friendship, you."
Cas lowered his gaze, clasping his hands together, "I no longer have a family. And friendship..." he trailed off thinking how much he cared about Dean and how much he still had faith in him.
"Cas, you've got friends and family's what you make of it. Sure, I got Sammy," he tried not to think about the things he'd learnt about his baby brother and what he thought of them, "but there's Bobby, Ellen and Jo," he said sadly, a small lump swallowed quickly before it could turn into something worse, "and you."
The angel looked up at Dean curiously, brow pinched making the skin around his eyes crinkle.
"Yeah, Cas, you're part of us. Not like you'd wanna be, we're about as dysfunctional as you can get."
It could've been Dean's imagination, his wanting his angel to be even the slightest bit less heart broken, but he swore he saw some of the tension run from Cas' body.
"Thank you, Dean," he said softly, thinking how dysfunctional his family was- it was one thing Gabriel had been right about.
They sat quietly, knees and shoulders pressing lightly against each other. They stayed like that, simply sitting, until dusk gave way to full blown darkness. The near full moon lightening the sky to a deep blue that Dean was positive would match his angel's eyes.
"There is something I believe I still have faith in."
The words were music to Dean's ears. He didn't care if it was Oscar the Grouch Cas believed in, at least it was something.
Dean cocked his head, silently asking Cas to continue.
The angel swallowed hard, "You." The word whispered downward into his chest as if afraid to let his last hope be voiced only to be dashed down.
"Cas," Dean was about to tell the angel he was insane to believe in him of all people, but Cas had lost so much, virtually everything in a matter of minutes, he couldn't take this away from him. Instead, he pressed closer to his angel and smiled.