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Dean lay stretched out on the bed in Bobby's spare room, Castiel hovering, literally hovering, over him, an unseen witness to the turmoil around and within his hunter.
Somehow Michael had gotten to him, convinced him to say ‘yes'.
Now, he lay on the bed in Bobby's spare room hopefully unconscious, possibly in a coma, or worse a vegetable.
Neither Sam nor Bobby knew exactly what the turning point was. They knew that Sam was safe and that Bobby was out of that damn chair, facts which made both men grit their teeth as their stomachs turned, but they had to believe there had been something more. Sam and Bobby had both forced the unmoving man to swear that he wouldn't let Michael use them against him.
Silently waiting on a plane of aether and light, Castiel knew the answer. Michael had offered Dean Castiel. Not ‘him', but his safety. Castiel would have his powers restored, he would no longer be hunted, no longer separated from the Host, and he would be healed. These things he knew from Michael's unfeeling lips. Castiel had watched horrified as Michael left Dean's body, his angelic form a mockery of the purity of his vessel. Michael had taken great pleasure in telling the other angel that he, his continued existence, was what finally drove the Winchester to accept him.
He'd felt that horrible moment when Dean said, "Yes," he felt Dean give himself over to the raw power that was the Archangel, and Castiel wept.
Now, hovering invisibly over his hunter's bed, all he cared about was this man. The voice and warmth of the Host were nothing when compared to the ringing laughter in Dean's voice or the heat that burned in his hazel eyes.
Castiel stayed like that, waiting for Sam and Bobby to leave or drift into restless sleep before he made his move, tapping Sam's forehead to ensure his continued sleep once Bobby had left. He knew it was futile, the odds were not in his favour, but he had to try, had to know he'd moved Heaven and Earth to save this man. With all the tenderness in the Heavens Castiel closed his wings around Dean's body. Holding Dean close as he balanced between worlds, Castiel whispered softly in Dean's ear, "Niis pil ol, monons de adohi lds cord ol at ol cord nonce."
He repeated the chant over and over, a litany of pleas he could only pray his hunter could hear. For hours he chanted into Dean's ear, his body cradled in the feathered flesh of Castiel's wings. He wanted to carry Dean away, far away, far from this plane, far from his brothers and sisters, far from everything, save for the power and feel of the Divine. He knew of a place. A place where only few dared go, a place where angels prayed.
Castiel knew he couldn't merely abscond with Dean. Sam and Bobby wouldn't rest until they found him. He doubted he could simply ask them, they'd easily know his powers were returned and then it would only be a matter of time before they rightfully blamed him for Dean's condition.
"It's about time you showed up," Bobby's familiar twang floated in from the doorway,
"I have always been here," the angel admitted.
"Hmm," the older hunter grunted, "thought as much."
They sat in a heavy silence for a few moments, Castiel immersed in his hunter; Bobby studying the angel.
"Can you heal him?" Bobby finally asked, even thought he knew the answer.
"It's not within my power," Cas stated flatly.
"But you do have your mojo back."
The angel nodded.
Another weighted silence overtook the room, this time broken by the angel.
"There is something, but there in no guarantee it will work."
Bobby eyed the angel, the way he would a surprise guest who turned down one of his Holy Water spiked beers- sizing them up and deciding how best to deal with them. Eventually, Bobby's shoulders lost their rigidity. "But it might work?"
"It is the best chance I can offer him," he stroked Dean's brow.
"Then take him," Bobby snapped, hiding underlying emotion with terse words.
"Thank you," Castiel's eyes shimmered with thankful tears.
In a swift rustle of air both man and angel were gone.
---
Castiel held Dean to him, secure in his feathered embrace. His wings so deceptive on the mortal plane were magnificent and full of raw power here in the realms of Heaven.
Cas laid Dean's body down on a soft pillowy dais, kneeling beside him, one hand squeezing Dean's, the other resting over the hunter's heart as he called to his Father, praying He'd see fit to answer him.
He spoke the words of prayer that begged for recognition from his Father, "Drilpa geh ils dst bogpa at piad baltoh piamol od vaoan. Zorge. Solpeth bien noco oiad od lonshi tox hoath iaiad zamran pambt monasci bafouib." He repeated them incessantly until his voice ran dry and then he continued through broken words.
"Castiel, my child," a voice boomed from all around them.
"Father," Cas' eyes trailed over Dean's face not daring to hope further.
"Why do you visit this place?"
"I wish this human to be saved," he announced as powerfully as he could through his broken voice. "I have come to ask You to restore him."
"This mortal has served his purpose," the voice answered gently.
"Father, surely that was only a fraction of his purpose."
"Castiel, he is disrespectful and has no faith; he takes pride in his sacrilegious and immoral ways, yet you wish me to restore his life and sanity?"
"Yes, Father," Castiel replied softly, yet without hesitation.
"Why?"
Raising his eyes as if he could see the disembodied voice, "Because he is precious to me."
"You love him?"
"Yes, Father."
"You would sacrifice your place among the Host for him."
Castiel lowered his eyes to Dean as he spoke, "Yes, Father."
"You would willing give up your Grace and truly Fall for him."
"Yes, Father, I will gladly submit to whatever you ask of me."
"Does he reciprocate your love?"
"I don't know."
"Yet you would offer yourself, all that you are in exchange for his well-being."
"Yes, Father," he spoke once more.
A bright almost unbearable light filled Castiel's vision and he and Dean were once again inside Bobby's spare room.
Sam's lengthy shadow fell across the bed, Bobby following on his heels, even before Cas could take in the situation. He rested his forehead on Dean's arm as realization swept over him.
"Cas? What happened?" Sam managing to voice the question on all their minds.
Large hooded eyes looked up from Dean's body, hands slipping away from where they had rested, "I failed," Cas uttered on shaky breath. He forced himself to look at Sam before repeating, "I failed." Castiel stood, taking a step back and then disappearing without another word.
In that one moment, Sam had seen something that truly terrified him, something he never imagined he would see in Castiel's eyes- fear.
"Cas!" concern rather than anger lending a shaky timbre to Sam's voice.
A gentle hand lay on Sam's shoulder, "Let him be, this is all new for him."
Bobby shared a look with Sam, both men acutely aware that the angel was suffering every bit as much as they were. But for Cas it was a new experience - losing someone you loved and discovering that nothing within your power could change that.
"What do we do now, Bobby?
"I don't know, son. Best thing would probably be to get some sleep, see what tomorrow brings," Bobby offered, seeing as there was nothing more that could be done at that time of night.
Reluctantly, Sam nodded. Tilting his head towards the old reading chair he'd been sleeping in since the war ended, "Think I'll just crash here."
Bobby smiled sadly, the unspoken ‘just in case' hung between them. "You need anything you know where it is."
"Yeah."
Bobby stopped in the doorway, gripping the doorframe, he turned back to Sam as if some heavy thought loomed. Instead saying only, "'night then," as he left.
"'night, Bobby."
Sam listened to the familiar noises of the old house, waiting for Bobby to go to bed. When he heard the soft thud of Bobby's bedroom door closing down the hall, he scooted the chair over to the edge of Dean's bed. He bent forward, resting his elbows on his knees, pressing close to his brother's body. "Dean, I don't know if you can hear me." He huffed a breath, "Don't even know if you can understand me." Sam stopped, curling his lips together then turning his gaze up and away from the broken man on the bed. "But if you can... Dean, man, you gotta get better. You have to, you hear me?" Feeling futile and worthless, Sam leaned back into the chair, muttering, "You have to."
It was a few hours before dawn when Dean lazily stretched and snap-popped tired muscles. He took a deep breath, enjoying the comforting smell of musty tomes and whiskey. Sammy was sound asleep in the chair by the bed.
"Hey, Sammy, wake up," Dean groggily shook Sam's knee. "What the Hell happened?"
For a moment, after his eyes shot open, Sam stared. Barking, "Dean!" he threw his arms around his brother.
"Uh, yeah, Sammy. Missed you, too."
"Fuck you. I never thought I'd see you again."
Dean's eyes looked from side to side, wondering what was going on and trying to identify the joke.
"What the... Hell. Dean, is that you, boy?" Bobby demanded, having been awaken by Sam's cry.
"Would one of you like to tell me what's going on?" Dean asked a little amazed and a lot spooked by the whole Second-Coming treatment- the fact that Bobby had his legs back wasn't helping.
"What do you remember? Sam asked.
"Nothing that would warrant this."
"Dean, please?"
"Fine. We'd just finished that hunt in Colorado and were heading back here... and... nothing." Dean's brow furrowed at his own words, why couldn't he remember.
"That was right before it happened."
Sam nodded.
"Right before what happened?!?!" Dean was practically growling.
"Right before you said ‘YES' to Michael you damn idjit!"
Dean's head jerked around to face the older hunter, eyebrows shooting to the ceiling, "What?!?!"
"You said ‘yes' Dean," Sammy assured him with the puppy eyes of I-hate-to-be-the-one-to-tell-you-this-but-it's-true.
"Wait, if I said yes, why am I still here and not a rotting vegetable?"
Sam glanced down, away from Dean's face; Bobby telling Dean, "You were. Why'd think Goofy over here's been wearing a hole in the furniture?"
"Then how?"
Sam shrugged, while Bobby did his half-shrug, shaking his head equally befuddled.
"You think Cas pulled it off after all?"
"Sure as Hell wasn't anything we were doing." Bobby conceded.
"Hold up, what did Cas do?" Dean's voice grew dark at the mention of his angel.
"He took you to some sacred place to ask the Big Guy to heal you. You both came back, but Cas said it didn't work."
"Well, I think it did." Dean grumbled. "Where is he anyway?"
"He disappeared," Sam told him. "We figured he needed some time."
"Figures. Sammy phone."
Sam obediently tossed his phone to his brother.
Dean punched in the number from memory. It seemed to ring forever, in truth it wasn't forever just a very long time. Frustrated, Dean hung up.
"Damn it. Stupid sigils."
"Dean, it's Cas, I'm sure he's fine." Sam tried to sooth.
"He's got his mojo back," Bobby offered.
"He's a full-powered smite machine again?" Dean asked hopefully.
"Yeah, how'd ya think he whisked you off to see Daddy."
Dean let out a deep sigh as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His head tipped up and he closed his eyes, "Thank God." When he lowered his gaze again his angel stood before him, brow wrinkled and serious expression number 87 firmly in place.
Instead of chiding the angel for his personal space issues, Dean hugged him. "Don't disappear like that."
"Dean?" the angel questioned as confused as any of the mortals in the room, while returning his hunter‘s embrace.
Taking a step away from Dean, afraid if he continued to maintain that proximity he'd do something he'd regret. "What did you do?" he growled at Sam and Bobby.
"Whoa, Cas, we thought it was you," Sam raised his hands in a placating gesture.
"This makes no sense. He did not accept my offering."
"Offering? You made a deal for me?" Dean was growling, his anger one notch below furious and climbing. Deals were what got this entire thing going- Mary for John, John for Dean, Dean for Sam, and now Cas for Dean. Forget climbing, Dean was furious. "How could you!?! You know how I feel about ‘deals'," he spat.
Castiel seemed to shrink slightly in front of him, "I had to. You are too important."
"No Cas, I'm not. Lucifer's been defeated and there are plenty of other hunters out there."
"What would you have me say, Dean?" Cas' uncharacteristically timid voice was regaining some of it's Holy strength. "That I care for you. That it was my fault you let Michael take you. That your life was worth mine a hundred times over... because I have feelings for you. That regardless of my restoration into the Host, I still have these feelings unlike any angel who has not Fallen."
"I said yes because of you?"
Castiel wanted to hide, "Michael informed me of your conditions before he healed me."
"Bastard! I wouldn‘t have wanted you to know."
Castiel cocked his head, "Why?" was all he said.
Dean understood what Cas was asking, not ‘why' was Michael a bastard, but ‘why' did he do it. "Cas, I couldn't let you die."
"Now who is making deals," Castiel pointed out.
"That was different."
"How so?"
"Me," Dean pointed to his left hand, "the world," he gestured towards his right, both lay approximately even. "Bobby, Sammy, you," he again gestured towards the ‘world' hand. Then raised his right high above his head and lowered the left as far as he could. "Any questions?"
The angel was silent, trying to understand Dean's skewed logic.
"You will never accept that you are worth more than nothing."
"Call ‘em like I see ‘em, Cas."
"You are wrong. I offered my Grace, my ‘life' for you, do not tell me that was nothing."
"Cas..."
"You are the one who taught me about self-worth, perhaps it is time for the student to become the teacher."
A second later, a pair of crystal blue eyes were so close to Dean's that they were all but touching. Dean's breath brushed the angel's lips and Cas purred, "We offer ourselves for those who are important to us, those we could not bear to be without. Do not chastise me for this."
Dean gulped his angel's lips too, too close for his sanity. He'd wanted to taste them for so long, wanted to feel their chapped touch on his lips and trailing over his body, but he couldn't- Cas was an angel and Dean knew enough of angel folklore by now to know what happened to angel's who ‘loved' humans.
As all these things flowed through Dean's mind, he felt Castiel's gentle touch as the angel pressed forward, their lips meeting in a slow dance of inevitability and understanding.
A cough broke their kiss, "If everything's settled here, then, uh, yeah, downstairs..." Sam pointed out the door, "beer, lots of beer..."
Bobby gently took Sam's arm, leading him out of the room, "Come on, I got a nice Chivas I've been saving for just such an occasion."
Dean rubbed foreheads with his angel, "I think we scarred him for life."
"He will have to adjust, I expect it will happen quite often from now on."
Again loose translations:
Niis pil ol monons de adohi l ds cord ol at ol cord nonce
Come to me, the heart of my world, the one who made me as I made you.
*Drilpa geh ils dst bogpa at piad baltoh piamol od vaoan. Zorge. Solpeth bien noco oiad od lonshi tox hoath iaiad zamran pambt monasci bafouib
Great thou art who reigneth as the balance of righteousness and truth. Be friendly unto me. Hearken unto my vioce, the servant of God and His power, the true worshipper of the Highest. Appear unto me the Great Name Righteousness.
*A lot of the phrasing was taken from the Calls, so if parts seem familiar that's why.