Chapter Text
Carousel Of Love
by PEJA
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're trapped upon a carasoul of love
We can't go back
We can only look behind from where we've come
And go round and round and round on the carousel
~~Carousel Of Love" by David Soul
Eighteen months.
A year and a half.
And he was heading back to Cascade Washington.
Back to Cascade.
Blair Sandburg wrenched the hair band from his hair and strangled his mass of curls back under control, shoving them back into the tight grip of the hair band and wished for the ga-zillionth time that he smoked. It would give him something to do with his hands. Something to take his mind off....
...going back to Cascade.
"I can do this." he murmured under his breath. "I can do this"
His hands darted up toward his hair again.
Only this time another hand intercepted the action that he'd repeated for over a hundred times in the last couple miles.
Blair's blue gaze darted across to the driver, seeing himself reflected in the mirrored black shades. His breath caught in his throat as his companion lifted his hand to his lips and kissed his fingertips. "Relax, Cuddles. I'm with you."
A soft smile tugged at Blair's lips and he sighed, "Ray....."
"Have I ever let you down, Cuddles?"
Staring into the reflective darkness, Blair shook his head. "Never."
"Trust me, my own."
"Its been so long. I can go back. I can do this.
Ray nodded. "Yes, you can."
"But nothings gonna be the same," Blair choked on the words. "Jim. Simon. The other guys. I let them down. Again. They aren't gonna want to see me."
"Is that what you think?" the man asked, frowning.
Blair dropped his gaze to his lap. "I...Ray, they had it all set up for me. All I had to do was take that firearms training and they'd slide me into the Major Crimes department set up as Jim's partner. I walked away after they went to all that trouble."
Ray retreated behind the act of driving for a moment, rolling over Blair's words in his head. "Blair, do you regret placing that ad?"
Wide-eyed, Blair's head jerked up. "The ad......" He chuckled. "What was it I said. "Time to get off the roller-coaster and back on the carousel....."
"....but the carousal has left me behind. Lost soul in need of a new heaven." Ray finished. "It was.... intriguing." He turned those dark glasses back toward Blair. "Regrets, Cuddles?"
Beaming under the endearment, Blair shook his head. "No. No, I don't regret anything."
The dark glasses studied him for a long moment, before Ray turned his attention back to the road. "Lean back and take a nap, Cuddles. You're going to give yourself ulcers."
Blair sighed into the instructions, curlling up in the passenger seat just enough to make himself a comfortable sleep space and closed his eyes. Seconds later his breathing evened out into the rest he so desperately needed.
******
The sweet scent of his lover blowing a soft breath teased his nose, drawing him with a contented purr out of his gentle dreams. "Mmmmm," He turned his head toward the open door and found himself drowning in the dark eyes. "Sex-x-y daddy."
Chuckling, Ray closed the small distance, claiming Blair's lips in a possessive kiss, drawing him out the car to snuggle in his ardent embrace. Thoroughly inclined to continue the encounter, Blair slid his hands up the warm black leather until he could tangle his fingers in Ray's dark hair.
A brisk har-rumph broke the lovers apart.
Ray deftly tucked Blair behind him and turned to face a big burly cop. "Can I help you officer?"
The big guy bristled. "We kind of frown on that sort of public...display of....affection on the city streets. Why don't you....girls get a hotel room and...." The cop's muddy brown eyes widened with sudden recognition as they swept over Blair. "San....Sandburg? Is that you?"
Sighing, Blair slipped around Ray's protective body and held out his hand to the cop. "How ya been, Chet?" he asked. "See ya made it through training and everything. Walking a beat, are ya?"
"Holy shit, Sandburg? Is that you?" Chet boomed, grinning broadly until a dark scowl stole away the welcome. "It is. Damn, Sandburg, where the hell have you been?" He frowned then. "Holy shit, do you know that the entire Major Crimes Unit have been looking all over hell for you?"
Blair shrugged, retreating into the protective arm that curled around his waist. "I've been in touch. Sent a couple postcards."
"Postcards? Crap, Sandburg, with your record for getting into trouble you think that's gonna be enough to keep your buddies in Major Crimes from going ballistic when you leave without so much as a smell ya later? Sandburg, there's an APB out on you. Has been since you disappeared last year." He reached for the call button perched on his shoulder. "I'm gonna have to call this in."
"C'mon, Chet. Give a friend a break," Blair said, rubbing himself suggestively over Ray's hard body. "You wouldn't want to spoil my honeymoon, would ya?"
"Behave, brat." Ray said, restricting Blair's hips with firm hands.
Blair tilted his head, slanting a coy look over his shoulder. "But, daddy, I thought you liked it when I..."
Rays fingers tightened on Blair. "Now is not the time, Cuddles."
Blair dropped his head against Ray's leather clad shoulder, sighing. "Gotta love me."
Laughing softly, Ray brushed the curls away from Blair's neck and dropped a biting kiss there. "Tell your friend goodbye, Cuddles. We have an appointment."
Blair grinned at Chet. "You heard my husband. Gotta go."
end part 1