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Season Seven: RIGHT HERE WAITING by Natasha Barry
“Season seven, man! This should be the bomb!”
“You say that every year, Jackson,” Ryan rebuked him. Then he added softly, “But it always is the bomb.”
Simon winked at Ryan, and then the crew was off to the races again.
The relaxed atmosphere during the auditions was sometimes too relaxed, as Randy would admit and often encouraged. But keeping the mood light is what got them through the day. Especially if Simon came in “grumpy” as Ryan liked to call it.
Simon usually arrived in a good mood, sometimes with the cell phone attached to his ear, sometimes not, but he’d be smiling on arrival, hooking an arm round Ryan’s waist and greeting his fellow judges in a demeanor of casual professionalism. Sometimes Paula earned the air kiss, sometimes not, sometimes Randy got a hand to the shoulder, more often not.
These people could be moody, and he’d have to put up with that, but Randy Jackson loved this job. He may have been successful but he was hardly famous before IDOL, and now he had this second family and he gladly made the most of it.
Over the years he’d begun to spend so much time with Ryan and Simon off the air, he joked he was the brother-in-law, which meant “teasing rights” as he called it.
When a contestant dropped confetti and sparkles all over the floor, Randy was all about including Simon’s boy when he told Simon, “We need Ryan here to sweep it up. Ryan!” he called while Simon sprang to his feet at first mention of the show’s host, pulling Ryan into the room with that arm instantly attracted to a slim waist, ushering the younger man inside. Inside to the slaughter, as Randy saw it. But it was always fun to see what Ryan would make of any situation.
On this occasion Ryan refused to take on the sweeping job called for, and Simon made a big fuss about doing it himself.
“He doesn’t even know how to use a broom!” Yes, Paula loved it.
At first, Ryan was obliging of the judge’s interruption and proved good-natured about it so they all had a good laugh, but afterwards he brought it up at dinner when it was just the three of them, the men of IDOL as they were known. “What was with the showboating, Simon?”
“What?” Simon’s days of saying “Pardon?” as was British custom were long gone.
Ryan was pressing his point, “I wasn’t condescending like you said, well, maybe I was when I joked about offering the woman a job, but you were condescending in implying she was too good – or too incompetent - for the work she was being paid to do. And you brought in someone making far more than she does to do her work. You were making fun of her, as if she shouldn’t take pride in her own work. You didn’t get that?”
“I didn’t mean to insult her.”
“That’s how it comes across,” Ryan assured him.
“It was Randy’s idea!” Under fire, the Brit quickly spun the blame in another direction.
Randy had been sitting quietly taking in the back and forth, conveniently forgetting he’d initiated the entire sequence of events under discussion. But it’s not as if Simon didn’t have a mind of his own, he excused himself.
“How about that, Randy, oh exalted judge?” Ryan confronted him. “How come you were insulting me by dragging me in there?”
“I wanted to amuse Simon,” Randy explained. “And nothing amuses him more than you.” As they both frowned at him, he continued, “I don’t mean that bad. I mean, he likes seeing you, and getting you in there keeps his spirits up.”
Privately, he thought Simon’s pulse raced each time his younger lover walked in the door. It was altogether cute, as Erika would say, that Simon had this marked weakness.
But since when did Ryan become so prickly? Making fun of Ryan was something they’d done, oh, since Simon started it back in season one. And Simon was far worse, blistering even. The man had behaved as if he’d no care in the world for anyone else’s feelings. He didn’t like Simon back then.
It’s not as if Ryan did the sweeping up, anyway, he’d quickly handed the job back over to crew, but Simon took it up there. So maybe Simon did make the situation worse by playing at sweeping up, as if it was all a game, especially when he did such a lousy job of it, all for the eye of the camera.
“No more showboating involving the crew,” Ryan told them, “it’s demeaning to them, especially if I’m your target. Simon – and you – can live without your petty amusements, especially with what you’re all being paid, and you know how overpaid you all are.”
“Yes, Ryan,” both men responded.
Afterwards Randy wondered since when had Ryan become so adult? He’d always liked Ryan, but this must be what a father felt when his son grew up to be running things.
This wasn’t like a few years ago, when Ryan was deferential. Even when they’d orchestrated that PUNK’D episode where Simon thought his Rolls was stolen, Ryan hadn’t said much. After the filming was over and the three had driven off again in Simon’s Rolls, Randy had brought it up. “How come you never did much talking, Ryan? You’re the talking head of this group.” Of course Ryan had accused him of overacting, but he came from a tougher environment than the boy from Atlanta. If someone stole a car where he came from, you didn’t make nice.
“I couldn’t say much, had to be conscious I was with Simon, it is his car, and I’m only supposed to be a friend. You did great for both of us.”
From his position in the backseat he could see part of the driver’s face reflected in the rearview mirror, and he’d noted how Simon’s dark round eyes narrowed as Ryan was speaking.
He had wondered how much longer they could go under this stress, of having to watch not only what they said but how they expressed themselves in public.
“You were quieter than I’ve ever seen you,” Ryan teased Simon. “I hope Ashton isn’t disappointed, I’m sure he was expecting fireworks.”
“Why the fireworks?” asked Simon, still rather subdued.
“This car being your most precious possession and all, which is what we made fun of.”
“You’re my most precious possession, Ryan, this Rolls is just a car.”
“Whoa,” said Randy. He knew he’d have to remember that one for relaying to Erika, or maybe he’d keep quiet and appropriate it for his own use someday.
Ryan remained silent, but Randy wondered if the younger guy weren’t sneaking a hand along the upholstery to squeeze Simon’s in gratitude.
Having to live your personal life underground, as it is even his wife was wondering how they managed it. How the stress didn’t break them.
One time he connected with Ryan socially while Simon was in England, Erika was shaking her head and wondering aloud, “How do you do it, Ryan? How can you sit here while he’s over there and vice versa? I know I could never take that, and Randy and I are apart a lot.”
The three of them were alone on the veranda during a charity event Ryan had a hand in getting off the ground.
“Oh, not that much,” Randy instantly contradicted his wife. Though he was a busy man with his commitments, except for the few days a week in the audition cities for IDOL he was home every night. “You know I’ve got family time every day.”
“And I appreciate that,” she replied, “it’s great I have you home most nights. I never wanted an absentee dad for my children. But Ryan doesn’t get that togetherness, can’t even take that for granted. Is Simon even here for you on your birthday?”
“I feel like I’m under investigation,” objected Ryan.
“Oh, I don’t mean to do that. I’m just worried about you. You’re a nice guy and you need someone who’s not available only by phone or someone who has to hop on a plane if there’s an emergency.”
“I appreciate the concern,” Ryan told her. “But it’s me and Simon, that’s the way it was written, and we’ve both realized we’re stuck with each other and we’re going to have to make it work.” As Erika looked sad, he reminded her, “Keep in mind, if I’m waiting for him, he’s also waiting for me, it’s not one-sided. In fact, sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever catch up to him. He likes his attention, but he gives plenty of it too.”
“What was that about bothering Ryan?” asked Randy on the way home.
“Someone should be concerned.”
He reminded her, “It’s not our business, though. And two guys together, it’s not the same as one of your friends getting married. They have a different set of rules and expectations.”
“So you stay out of it?”
“As much as I can,” he assured her. “Even last year when they broke up, I was supportive of Simon, but it was Paula cooing over him, not me.”
“And weren’t you supportive of Ryan?”
“He didn’t need my support. Ryan was running that show.”
After dealing with the Tom Lowe and “other shit” as Ryan put it later, he and Simon got back together only to find themselves with another problem when Simon expected Ryan to drop everything and go to work in London, and Ryan refused and shit happens.
As near everyone on the planet was aware, Ryan had his own busy career in radio and television separate from IDOL, but all these commitments were U.S.-based.
Following one of the broadcasts, he trailed them back to Simon’s dressing room. In-between the shouting back and forth, he distinctly championed Ryan’s complaint, “You always expect me to drop everything! To be at your beck and call as if I don’t have anything better to do! I have work, Simon.”
“That’s not true,” Simon protested. “I thought you wanted us spending more time together. How else can we do this unless you come with me to England? It’s not as if you’ll be sitting around. You’ll be doing X-FACTOR with me. I got rid of that last presenter, and after last year, I thought we were going to make sure we spent more time together. You don’t want me taking you for granted, remember?”
“Follow you? It’s always about following you. I may be younger, but I’m just as successful in my own way. You give great advice, Si, but this is where you’ve gone too far. You didn’t even ask me. You know I’ve already got contracts in place, high visibility, I am achieving my own ambitions and in a much bigger playing field than the bloody ol’ U.K. I can’t do IDOL then skip out on E!, AT40, and my own radio show for months at a time. If I walk out on even one contract I’ll ruin my reputation in the States.”
As if the life had been sucked out of him, Simon responded, “I thought you could do it by satellite.”
“Everything? Si, even my employers have their limits.”
But at least Ryan was calming down, perhaps because he’d come up against that brick wall which was a reminder though tech savvy, Simon wasn’t in the same class as Ryan.
“I can be used up and spat out too,” Ryan was telling him. “I can’t treat any of my commitments casually. There’s always someone younger coming up behind me, hell, even at my own networks I’ve got guys nipping at my heels. It’s a young guy’s game, and I’ve got to stay where I am, you know how I have to utilize what I’ve got to get ahead in production. When that happens, I’ll have more freedom, I promise.”
Simon was sighing. “I wanted more time for us.”
Ryan went over to him; put an arm around him, speaking quietly all the while. “So do I, but it can’t work out, not that way. I guess you’re as much a prisoner as me.”
Simon seemed to be thinking it over but he nodded agreement, “At least through this contract.”
At this, Randy felt compelled to interrupt. “You got something planned, Simon?” He should have left the room, but the argument had started up without preamble, probably part of a continuation. Rather stunned, he’d sat there as the men tore into each other. But just as quick as it started, it seemed to have simmered down.
He had his own worry if Simon planned leaving the show. The polling the producers had done declared dire consequences when it came to maintaining the high audience numbers for the show. He loved IDOL and wanted it and his own role in it to continue.
“I’m not leaving IDOL,” Simon assured him, “at least not while Ryan is on it.”
“He’ll try flexing his muscle,” Ryan interjected, either because he guessed or he and Simon had already discussed their future options.
Knowing both men and their commitment to each other, Randy was sure it would be both or either.
“Besides, he has that dream house he’s building, as if he needs another house.” Ryan playfully punched Simon’s arm. “Not that I can live there with him, but I have been consulted on all the details.”
Simon told Randy, “I hope to bring one of my shows to the U.S., which I’ve been prohibited by contract from doing so far. Once that happens, my primary residence will be the new home, though I had been hoping Ryan would be with me in London and Los Angeles. I want our partnership to be professional as well as personal.”
“I want that too,” explained Ryan, a bit plaintive all of a sudden. “I already think of us that way. We’re not doing IDOL without each other, are we?”
“Well,” said Randy, “you guys, your contracts are up the same time. It’s weird how we’re all on different schedules, with you two, me and Paula.”
“Unlike Simon here, I don’t throw a tantrum in the press when I feel I’m not being appreciated.”
Simon shot back, “Maybe nobody cares!”
Ryan punched that bicep again, maybe not so casually, but Simon used the opportunity to grab his lover and pull him closer.
“Simon can’t take undivided attention, which is why young guys tend to bore him.”
“You are the exception,” Simon concurred. “But you’re not that young anymore.”
Ryan smirked, pointing out, “I’ll always be younger than you.”
“He’s got you there, Simon. Well, guys, think I’ll leave you to it.”
“I’ll go with you,” said Ryan, “I have to get changed. Everyone meeting for dinner?”
“As usual,” Simon replied.
As Ryan accompanied Randy to his dressing room, Ryan admitted, “I think he wants to make sure I’m always in a position to trust him.”
“Don’t you trust him?”
“I do now, but I couldn’t before, could I?”
Then Ryan veered off for his own dressing room.
Later in the season, a couple of the live shows were attended by this guy Dermot who’d been hired to act like Ryan, “only without fringe benefits,” as Ryan put it. The guy sat in the audience one week, watching Ryan at work.
“It’s a bit creepy,” had been Randy’s response to all this.
He also knew there was press speculation he’d become a judge on X-FACTOR but that wasn’t happening. He was tied in to IDOL and wouldn’t leave his family as often as the other show – shooting in England – would make him.
“Dermot?” Paula asked, smirking. “It’s like Simon can’t be parted from Ryan for a single moment, so he needs a constant reminder. It’s sweet, or it’s sick.”
“I guess that’s it.”
“It’s only funny because he’s always insulting Ryan as a host, but who does he want for his own show? Ryan.” She laughed without apparent humor.
“Dermot doesn’t look like Ryan.”
Simon joined them at the judges table. “Dermot doesn’t look like Ryan,” he confirmed. “Ryan has green eyes. But Dermot is a good presenter, he’s done other shows.”
Paula argued, “He may not look like Ryan but you want that constant reminder. Do you have him studying tapes of Ryan as well? What does Ryan think of all this?”
Simon was still bitter. “The job was his; it was his choice to turn it down.”
Randy chuckled. “Be reasonable, man,” was his advice, if not, Simon was going to dig himself in even deeper with Ry.
“So is Dermot gay or straight?” Trust Paula to get to the crux of the matter.
But Simon was flippant. “Who cares?”
Randy came to Paula’s rescue, “Dermot’s eyes are blue, not green,” he reminded her.
“Oh, yes,” she responded, “Ryan and his beautiful eyes.”
“They are beautiful,” said Simon.
“I never said otherwise.”
So that was it, season six in a nutshell for Ryan and Simon and their waiting on their contract negotiations and Simon wanting to spend more time with Ryan and Ryan waiting on Simon’s full-time move to the U.S.
“I love the guy,” Ryan would sigh, with a complacent smile on his face.
Sometimes Randy wondered if Ryan ever regretted all these contracts he’d signed. When he brought it up though, all Ryan could do was say “No, that’s my security. I get E! for my own playground while radio remains my base, and IDOL is my identity.”
“But I hate seeing you on E! NEWS. Does anyone outside the business watch that thing?”
“It’s necessary for that all-important tween cache, they’re the ones watch the show. I’ve got name recognition across several generations, and I like a lot of the stuff they’re into, the films and stuff. Let’s face it; we both stay in with the music.”
Now they were into the new season, and ordinarily Ryan and Simon took off to have dinner together, but this time they invited him.
The conversation went in various directions until X-FACTOR came up again. Randy had never seen the show, so he was interested to find out what Ryan thought of it.
“I’ve attended a lot of the broadcasts,” Ryan confirmed. When his schedule was IDOL-free he was able to manage time off, and that usually involved his various vacation jaunts with Simon or remaining in London with Simon.
Randy felt a little mischief coming on. “So how is that guy Dermot working out?”
“Oh, him, it’s a little weird. I don’t think I’d be aware he was copying my style if I weren’t already aware he is.”
“It’s like hearing an accent,” commented Simon, “you don’t hear your own accent spoken back to you.”
“Is that what it is?” asked Ryan. “Well, I guess I should be complimented Simon thinks so much of my skills, but I’m not sure how Dermot feels about it.”
“Dermot knew when he was hired what was expected of him,” said Simon. “He was out here just to watch you work.”
“If you bring X-FACTOR over here,” Randy was asking, “will Ryan be the host?”
“I don’t think Ryan has made that decision yet.”
“You’re my lover, should you be my employer as well?” Ryan shot back at him.
Randy threw up his hands. “I didn’t want to start something.”
“It’s alright,” Ryan assured him, “we’re always revisiting this issue. But I’ll make my mind up about X-FACTOR when other issues are resolved. But I have to admit, negotiations should be fun.”
This got Simon laughing, and they eased their way into dessert, well at least Randy did, as he noted Ryan rarely ate dessert and didn’t do so this time, while Simon was fine with dessert as long as Ryan wasn’t telling him he’s fat. Evidently Ryan was telling him he’s fat, so Simon settled the night with the fish main course and coffee afterwards.
They returned to the hotel after stopping to sign several autographs.
At the hotel Randy was about to disembark the elevator and leave them with it when he teased, “Try not to get caught, Ry, going back to your own room.”
Ryan agreed, “It would be easier in a suite with a connecting door.”
“Easier,” agreed Randy, “but also suspicious.”
He took his leave, wondering when it came to Simon’s memory for things that offended him, if he and Ryan and the future of X-FACTOR were really at rest.
When HOLLYWOOD WEEK arrived the rules were different this year. For one, the contestants were allowed to introduce instruments into the mix. Though this was still a singing contest, in its simplest form, the fact the contestants could display their versatility was more about giving the audience something else in the performance to consider, reflecting upon how the singer would be as a recording or touring star. It wouldn’t be the IDOL winner on-stage with a microphone, but could be an IDOL winner standing in front of a mic while strumming the guitar.
There were second chances on elimination this week as well, achieved because those annoying and audience-scrutinized and found wanting group songs were phased out in favor of two solo performances from each contender and the votes of the judges for the individual performances would go into the final vote. Once they got to the final fifty, those contenders would be winnowed to the final twenty-four to be presented to the voting public, with the deciding factor in this case not another live performance, but the judges screening the tapes of the original auditions which earned them the ticket to Hollywood, as well as the auditions which took place during HOLLYWOOD WEEK. They were looking for great voices as well as a consistency most of them lacked.
HOLLYWOOD WEEK there was the usual blowup between Simon and Paula but other than that the drama which usually sprang from the group numbers of prior years was missing. For the television audience, that was a bad thing, but for the judges it was a sigh of relief. Though drama could be a relief from boredom, especially for Simon, when a contestant brought drama into the discussion, it made the judges resent that contestant.
“If the contestant is a drama queen now,” as Ryan positioned it, “when they haven’t achieved anything except a trivia mention on the IDOL message board, what are they going to be like if they actually become something to write home about?”
“I don’t want to sign any nightmares,” Simon concurred.
Randy nodded his agreement. “And I don’t want to work with any.” For all his work with the divas and others of the business, he respected them and them him. That made for a smooth working relationship, so if they were divas at home, that was their business, but don’t be a diva on the job unless it’s about achieving perfection in the studio.
At least young David was a bright spot for the season. He looked to be perfect, though there was some concern expressed by the producers that “the season could be real boring, we need someone exciting, the slam dunk of a person coasting through the season to a win doesn’t build any drama.”
At least they had a few other shakeups this season, as they had the Irish lass as well as the Aussie who were great at rocking out. They would have to wait and see if the audience supported these new Americans with the foreign accents.
“At least Simon didn’t know either of them before,” Randy joked to Paula, recalling the previous year when the hint of collusion between one English contestant and one British judge sitting on the IDOL panel made the smooth ouster of the contestant a necessity.
That guy’s presence had also been the first link in a chain that caused Ryan to break up with Simon. But that was last year. Since then it was, “You’ve got the car,” referring to the Bentley Simon gifted his lover with. “You’ve got the watch,” as the two men sported a match.
“Don’t worry,” Ryan assured him, “I won’t be getting the Cowell Buttcut,” the title Ryan bestowed upon Simon’s ‘do.
When the show was a success, back in the first season, the “de-queening of Cowell” – as Ryan labeled it – commenced, and the more attractive hairstyle Simon brought with him from the U.K. was clipped. Ryan wasn’t pleased with the new style and never let his man forget it. Consequently the lack of good fashion sense and overall quirky personal style exhibited by Simon was a fair object of ridicule.
When he could be bothered, which was rare, Simon had his own take on his appearance. “I like it; it’s much easier to take care of,” Simon protested, “unlike your hair, Ryan.”
“But you love running your fingers through my hair.”
Simon grinned. “That’s true.”
Whenever they became too vocal in their appreciation of each other, Randy tuned them out. “I prefer it when you guys insult each other on the show,” he let them know.
Once they got into the season’s Top Twenty-four to be voted on by the public, that’s when IDOL got interesting for Ryan. It’s like he was revved up, which is what Randy told him.
“I’m in charge now,” Ryan announced. “I’ve got my finger on the button and you guys,” meaning the judges, “are my playthings.”
Paula laughed, and said, “Yeah, right,” meaning just the opposite, but even she would only go so far with Ryan. “It’s so easy to insult Simon,” she assured Randy. “But with Ryan, he stands there and it’s like he’s inviting the insult, but you don’t know what he’ll do, will he just smile or will he cry or will he say something back at you so you wish you’d never been born? It’s easier to get along with him.”
They were in position for the first episode of the season going live. Like the previous year, this was the Top Twelve Guys performing. As usual, some guys were great, other guys were disappointing, but at the end of the day it was the audience at home who’d vote for their favorites and how fervently is what decided the matter.
At the close, Ryan went “Thank you to Randy Jackson, of course, Paula Abdul.” Simon was looking up now, anticipating the camera’s tight shot. But Ryan continued with “And thanks to Ricky Miner and the band.” Then Ryan looked directly at Simon for a moment, and to Randy it seemed the moment was ripe with anticipation. “But most of all,” Ryan continued, then he faced the television audience again, “thank you for watching.” Simon was laughing before Ryan even finished.
“What was that about?” Randy wondered about the snub, albeit rather a good-natured one, which Paula had been applauding.
Simon had to stop laughing long enough to explain, “Top twelve guys just like last year. Remember?” Simon prompted.
Then Randy got it, and even Paula was going, “Oh, the infamous breakup.” He’d heard it was referred to as the “sweetheart” moment on the internet. All of that “Don’t you call me sweetheart,” from Ryan who’d taken exception to the endearment from Simon. At least it was an endearment, since it hadn’t been declared in a sarcastic manner. At the time, Randy took it as a good way of Ryan’s covering Simon’s slip, except something much more serious was going on between the two of them that week, and those in the know were aware Simon and Ryan were on the outs.
Yep, Ryan had snubbed Simon on the closing of that show. Trust these guys to commemorate the event. “Did you know he was going to do that?” Randy asked, since Ryan had already left the stage.
“No, but we were discussing that night earlier. That it was one year ago, Top Twelve Guys all over again, but we’re in a good place now. It doesn’t surprise me he did something. I probably should have called him sweetheart again for good measure, but I can’t say it without meaning it,” Simon rose. “I’m going to see Ryan, you coming?” he asked Randy.
Considering the end of the show was turning out to be the highlight of the evening, Randy said, “Sure,” and he accompanied Simon backstage. They were headed to Ryan’s dressing room where the younger man would be in the process of divesting his more formal attire and wiping off that stage makeup.
Simon tried to minimize his visits to Ryan’s dressing room, as Ryan did to Simon’s, to reduce speculation on why they spent so much time together. It was considered an open secret on set Ry and his Si was a couple, but it wasn’t as if anyone had proof. So with Randy in tow, Simon would feel safe dropping in on his partner.
They tapped at the door and walked in, Simon telling Randy to lock the door behind them. “Ryan!”
“Bathroom!” Ryan returned the hail.
“Maybe I should have called him sweetheart tonight,” Randy was teasing. After the infamous Simon slip of last year, he’d been advised to make light of it, consequently he’d called both Ryan and Simon sweetheart, and Ryan was even “baby” frequently.
Randy sat down on the couch and when Ryan came out he was wiping his face and neck with a towel, his torso bare. “What’s up?”
“Cute,” Simon smiled at him. “Both you and what you did.”
“What better way to celebrate our anniversary?” Ryan returned the smile. “Maybe dig it a grave as well.”
Randy was confused. “What anniversary?”
Ryan responded, “Our breakup.”
“Short-lived though it was,” Simon stipulated.
“It lasted a few weeks.” Ryan prompted. He went on to clarify for Randy, “Even after I decided to forgive if not forget he was on probation for a while.”
“What qualifies a few weeks over months of being broken up?” Simon had turned to Randy, as if he were the expert. “Wouldn’t that be short-lived?”
“Temporary, anyway,” Randy replied, but he didn’t want to be side-tracked. “But you are telling me you observe a breakup anniversary?”
“Oh, we observe all our anniversaries. The calendar is crowded.”
“He’s very sentimental,” Ryan explained. “We’ve got anniversaries for when we met, when we first fucked, our first vacation together in Barbados, even our breakup. I mean, it’s not down to the minute, but it’s surprising how many women complain about their guys not keeping track of important dates and mine seems to make up for all of them. Now I have to keep track because Simon does, and I don’t want to disappoint him.”
Simon put in, “Hopefully it was the lone breakup. It’s only because I had the hope of getting him back I was able to keep going.”
“You guys are strange,” Randy pointed out. “My wife would kill me if we had an anniversary for our arguments.”
“Not our arguments, it’s our breakup,” Ryan told him. “And since this was top twelve guys and that was one year ago, I thought something special should happen. The breakup occurred on-air after all, so I made fun of it, so we’d have something else to remember.”
“He says he’s not sentimental, but he is.” Then Simon confronted Randy, “You always say Erika will kill you. It doesn’t even matter what we’re talking about.”
Randy decided now was the time to get a bit rude. “I bet tonight is your anniversary for makeup sex?”
Ryan’s green eyes virtually gleamed. “Our makeup sex is every day.” Then he walked from the room, as if on a cloud of air, presumably to lose the towel and gain a t-shirt.
“Quite correct,” Simon declared, puffing up his chest.
“Oh, stop, you look like you need a bra.”
Ryan returned to hear the last. “He does, it’s quite a handful. I always have something to grip when I’m riding him.”
“Strongest thighs in the world,” Simon complimented him.
“Need them to ride you.”
Randy got up. “Right, so I’m leaving, this is too much for my delicate ears.” That was quite a picture they were putting in his head. “You guys need that network censor in here. Keep it clean, dude, keep it clean.”
It looked like Ryan would have thrown the towel after him but he didn’t have it anymore so he came out with, “Wimp!” as Randy went through the door.
Ryan continued the tribute the next night, as the girls performed. He introduced the judges and then began questioning how hard Randy was on the contestants and how contradictory to request a singer deliver a specific type of performance, and when the contestant brought it home, to complain about that same performance.
Meanwhile Ryan confronted Simon on how he appreciated the fact the contestants argued with him. As usual, Simon was all about how he enjoyed it when they “had a go. It shows they’ve got spirit.” Fortunately for Ryan, as he was still busy commemorating – or glossing over – the year before, there had been two guys who’d challenged Simon last night.
The eliminations continued the next night, and Erika had her own comments to make on the week, “That Danny is too full of himself.” He mentioned her comment to Paula and she agreed, saying, “He has an attitude. Have you noticed, he’s been disrespectful to both Ryan and Simon? They’ll be happy when he’s gone.”
“That’s stupid,” he referred to Danny, “but he’s got followers.”
“Gay ones,” she interjected, “and so far they haven’t ruled IDOL.”
“But he’s going to turn off people if he’s rude to Simon and Ry. Anytime a contestant does that, he’s out of here.”
“Yeah, well, he’s young, not smart.”
This put him in mind of another contestant who was shaping up to have more ego than sense. “Then there’s Kady, wow she’s a trip.” That girl had been so displeased at the negative reviews she’d gotten from the panel of judges she even wanted to take it out on Ryan. “I’ve rarely seen such contempt exhibited towards us before.”
“You said it. She should start packing,” Erika decided, nodding away. “Simon will take her down.”
After the eliminations for that week, however, he lingered backstage to listen while Paula was remarking, “Garrett’s nice, not the worst we’ve had this week either.”
“Yeah, I thought the girls would keep him in,” he’d have bet money on it, “but maybe he’s too pretty, I don’t get it. He seemed perfect for this competition. His vocals were good. Maybe his vote got split with one of the other guys, like David.”
“Maybe everyone is avoiding another Sanjaya.”
Simon came up then. “What?” he asked to be filled in. “Don’t tell me Sanjaya’s back.” If anything, that was Simon’s least favorite contestant ever, due to the young man’s duration on the program. But Sanjaya had been one of those you either love him or leave him types, and for Simon the charm hadn’t lasted long. He’d even threatened to quit the show should Sanjaya win the crown. Fortunately, the youth-oriented Sanjaya voters finally got superseded and the young man had been let go, with everyone breathing a sigh of relief. That had been one of those IDOL-holding patterns where the public waited with baited breath on the weekly elimination round.
“Mister Happy!” Randy mocked him again, having joined with Ryan this week in paying homage to the round of shows of a year ago which Ryan had dubbed their own personal Hell Week.
“We were talking about Garrett,” said Randy. “The younger guys, we were wondering how long they’ll last in the competition.”
“We are losing two a week,” Simon pointed out. “I think we can take it for granted David’s going to be in the finale.”
Ryan came up, probably wondering what was causing the delay. He had such a busy schedule; he was always on the move. “What’s the hold up on dinner?”
Simon addressed him. “I thought we were meeting you there. Terri made the reservations.”
“Got to go then!” Ryan continued toward his dressing room, Simon looking after him with a smile on his face.
Randy returned to the discussion with the observation, “Danny isn’t too popular.”
“He’s popular enough to still be here,” argued Simon. “But he’s too gay to last.”
“It’s his attitude,” Randy explained. “Erika doesn’t like him. It’s like he’s trying to “out” Ryan.” Outing Simon would be another goal of the young man, he figured.
“Maybe, and since he thinks he’s so smart this should be his last week. Nobody likes them when they’re arrogant and there’s a world of difference between arrogance and confidence.”
Randy wondered, “Have you been getting the results?”
“No, I don’t do that anymore.”
Paula sighed, asking Simon, “We were talking about Garrett and little David. You think they split the votes?”
It was Simon’s judgment, “It’s possible. David might be the best singer in the competition and he has appeal.” Now it was just the three of them and there was no audience to impress, Simon forgot to use the description x-factor which he’d become obsessed with since starting his show. He continued, “Now I know why you were referring to Sanjaya. But Sanjaya had the field to himself at this point in the competition, but there are a lot of young guys this year, the weaker ones are bound to be kicked off.”
“Ryan was telling me there’s too much speculation out there, that we loaded the top twelve with pros instead of amateurs.”
Simon shrugged. “Like we’re responsible for who shows up at the auditions?”
“Yeah,” said Paula, “it’s not like that Tom Lowe guy of last year, is it?”
“Remember, Paula, there was Corey.”
“He was already in the top twelve,” she reminded them.
“Speaking of which,” asked Randy, to change the subject, “when is that X-FACTOR starting up again?”
“In the spring, after IDOL concludes, I’m back to London for auditions.”
“You’re keeping that new guy?”
“What guy?” asked Paula.
“Dermot-something.”
“Who’s he?” she asked, “Simon’s new boyfriend?”
“I don’t have a new boyfriend.”
Randy seemed to be conducting the conversation, so he explained, “He’s the host of X-FACTOR.”
“I thought that was Ryan.”
“No,” Simon began the explanation slowly, “I wanted Ryan to host X-FACTOR and he refused.”
Randy recalled Paula being privy to some of those discussions, especially since it continued into the current IDOL audition season. But he had to chuckle, for here Simon was starting it up again, and it was his fault. “Now, Simon, keep it straight, Ryan is too busy for X-FACTOR. Now we know you want Ryan there, but how’s this new guy, you’re keeping him, he’s doing okay? Cause you can be murder on new judges.”
“He’s no Ryan.”
“Would you give him the chance?” Paula dismissed with a snort. “You mean X-FACTOR, right?” As if wanting to ensure they weren’t discussing IDOL, since that was Ryan’s actual job.
“Yes, since Ryan isn’t doing it with me.”
“Paula, he wants Ryan doing X-FACTOR, don’t you remember?”
“I can’t keep track of X-FACTOR and besides Ryan has enough to do,” she grumbled. “Ryan had some growing pains when he started IDOL, we all did. Don’t go being unfair with this Dermot guy; I’m sure he’s wonderful.”
“He’s had more experience being a presenter,” Simon told them. “But he is lacking Ryan’s charm.”
“Ryan’s worked with us for a lot of years now. He’s had time to perfect the routine.”
“There speaks the choreographer,” sniped Simon.
“Simon, if you want a slave, go buy one. You’re so busy trying to control all of us.”
“There speaks the wisdom,” Randy announced, ignoring the last, “that Ryan has enough to do.”
“You met Dermot last year, Paula,” Simon pointed out.
“Yeah,” Randy agreed, “he came out to study Ryan’s moves.”
She dismissed that with, “Ryan’s not a dancer. You don’t have the same relationship with this guy as you do Ryan, right?”
Simon laughed mockingly. “That’s one thing I stipulate, it’s only Ryan has the prerogative to insult me.”
“That wasn’t what I meant.”
Well, it was, but not all of it. “She means you’re not dating the host at both shows?”
“Yeah, like a guy with two wives.”
Simon caught on. “Ryan has no competition.”
“Must be nice to run your own show,” Paula commented. “Randy, you notice we’re not invited onto X-FACTOR?”
But their conversation ended as they were reminded by Paula it was time to “remove the stage mask,” meaning the makeup, and they’d see her later.
Randy followed Simon out to the restaurant where their friends joined them for a meal or drinks, this being the one night a week Erika knew not to expect her husband home for dinner.
When Ryan joined them later Paula opened up again about the host they’d been discussing.
“Dermot?” Ryan asked. “What about him?” He gave a look to Simon.
Simon responded grimly, “I was explaining to Paula he is the host of my show, the one I don’t do with you.”
“Whoa, cut glass,” Ryan mocked. “That’s how he always puts it, too, ‘the show I don’t do with you.’ Why are you so interested, Paula? You think he’d be better than me at IDOL?”
“You know what? I’d like Simon to bring me a tape; I’d like to see how this guy impersonates you. That’s what he does, right? Simon can’t be away from you for more than a minute, he needs a reminder? Or does he need a reminder so he doesn’t forget you? Are you worried about him taking your guy?”
Randy was wondering how many drinks she’d had before joining them for dinner.
Ryan shot back, “I’d be more worried about you, Paula.”
Under the circumstances, even though he was under attack, Simon was surprisingly gentle. “Dermot doesn’t look as good as Ryan in a suit.”
Paula surrendered. “Ryan, nobody looks better than you in a suit.”
But Ryan was preoccupied and didn’t notice the compliment. “That’ll be funny, I mean if I ever did want to do X-FACTOR or some other show in the U.K. the audience would think I was imitating him when he was really imitating me. I’d be a bad imitation of a guy imitating me.”
Randy said, “That’s weird.”
“Yeah, I can’t work in the U.K. - I’ll have to ban myself.”
“It’s not that bad,” Simon argued.
Well, in either getting back at Ryan or paying homage to Ryan – probably a bit of both – Simon may have sabotaged Ryan’s career in the U.K.
“Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face,” said Randy.
“My nose?” Ryan posed. “I haven’t had a nose job.”
Paula nodded. “You’re scalpel-free Ryan, I give that to you.”
“What’s with Ryan and plastic surgery?” Terri came into it, having been preoccupied in conversation with Simon’s best friend, Paul.
But Ryan was going on with, “That Dermot, I’m surprised he didn’t punch you in the mouth for the suggestion he act like me. I was watching him, Randy, whenever I was in London sitting in on the show. I can see the basic style and he’s got the format down, you know how I go into the audience. Simon has Dermot doing all that too.”
Simon explained, “It’s a sincere compliment; a tribute to how you work. Whether he hates me or not is his problem, as he took the job.”
“Is it working out?” asked Randy.
“I’d rather it be Ryan.” Simon shrugged.
“He’s not reined in, you see,” commented Ryan. “Dermot has no control over this guy, and Simon only respects people who can boss him.”
“Yeah,” Randy noted, “he does need you or Nigel.”
“He runs amok otherwise,” put in Terri.
Simon began chuckling, “Discussing me like I’m not here.”
Ryan looked started. “Who said that?” Then he sobered, “I bet Dermot hates me though.”
“What difference does it make?” countered Simon.
“None, I guess.”
But Randy knew all the Ryan-haters were people who didn’t know the man. Even Paula had tried disliking Ryan, and it hadn’t lasted for long. “He’s got enough problems,” she’d explained.
It could be Ryan was a figurehead to this Dermot, though, like Dermot couldn’t see the forest for the trees. “Do you guys take him out for a meal when you’re there, Ryan?”
“You mean like a pet? No. We go out with Simon’s friends, but keep to ourselves.”
“Except for our token appearance at STRINGFELLOWS,” Simon pointed out.
Ryan assured Randy, “That satisfies the paps, and most importantly Max Clifford, he does the publicity for that place and since it’s a strip club Simon maintains his ladies man rep. I guess it helps me too.” Seeing the look on Randy’s face, Ryan continued, “It’s not so bad. We let a girl sit on Simon’s lap and have a picture taken, or she’s sitting on mine.”
Simon took up the explanation, “Mainly we – Ryan and I – sit and drink, sometimes I have friends join us and that passes a few hours until we go home.”
Ryan confided, looking around first, as if to ensure privacy for what he was about to impart, “We’ll let a girl kiss us, or Simon will have some lipstick with him and we’ll go to the gents and put it on and kiss each other. That way we go outside to face the paps looking suitably debauched.”
“And I thought raising kids was tough.” Randy was so happy for his busy yet ultimately uncomplicated life he had to bite his tongue from saying more.
The good times for the judges was a nice break as the winnowing down to the top twelve continued.
There was one moment when Randy thought Simon would be starting something with Ryan, some complaint about needing to know one’s limitations and Ryan was a perfect example of that. So in the end it was a compliment – or compli-diss, as Ryan termed it – against both Ryan and the contestant being addressed.
“Well, he was putting the contestant down, but paying me a weird compliment, acknowledging I don’t screw up because I know what my limitations are.”
Randy shook his head. “He shouldn’t bring you into it, though, it’s about the contestant.”
“That’s what I think, but that’s Simon, and I’m the first place his brain runs to.”
As IDOL progressed Simon was transatlantic during the weeks, breaking up his time spent with Ryan as he was in the U.K. for auditions for his own extravaganza.
“It’s a treadmill for him,” remarked Randy, who worked full-time all the time just like his workhorse buddies, but at least his stuff was local. Ryan had too much time on the air and Simon was going back and forth between England and Los Angeles.
Ryan sighed. “Fortunately he’s got that jet; otherwise I know he couldn’t have lasted.”
“Maybe he needs to slow down, base himself in one country.”
“It better be the U.S. then,” Ryan warned. “So far he’s based in London and this isn’t working out for us. We’re on the phone all the time, but it’s not the same thing. I must have the weirdest life of anyone on the planet. I know if I was less busy, I couldn’t stand it, the same with him.”
“Astronauts.”
“What?”
“Astronauts might have it worse.”
Ryan glared at him. “Not for as long.”
When they were back at work the next week Ryan grabbed Randy to say, “You’ve got to see this.”
Randy was dragged into Ryan’s dressing room and looked around. “What?”
“This,” and Ryan handed over a parchment, what looked to be a scroll for Randy to unravel. “I mean, he transcribed this on the plane.”
Randy’s initial thought was WHY? But then he read it.
(RYAN) YOU’RE THE ONE
Every time we meet, everything is sweet
Oh, you’re so tender, I must surrender
My love is your love, now and forever
You’re the one that I long to kiss
Ryan, you’re the one that I really miss
You’re the one that I’m dreaming of
Ryan, you’re the one that I love
Keep me in your heart, never let us part
Oh, never leave me, please don’t deceive me
I want you only, you must believe me
I adore you and no one before you could
Make me feel this way
Since I met you I just can’t forget you
I love you more each day
There may be some tears through the coming years
Oh, all the while I know you’ll be smiling
Your love will guide me through every mile
Cause you’re the one that I long to kiss
Ryan, you’re the one that I really miss
You’re the one that I’m dreaming of
Ryan, you’re the one that I love.
After reading it he wondered if he should bring something home to his wife, like more jewelry or that special cheese she liked. “You guys are too much,” he commented.
“Oh, he had Terri bring me flowers.”
“Terri?”
“Yeah, they’ve officially broken up, or they have whenever I announce it. I figure I got him engaged, I might as well un-engage him.”
“She’s not still working for him, though, right?”
“It’s complicated. She’s got her own career so he will have to hire a new P.A. otherwise people will wonder how Terri can be the ex when she’s always around. He’s not in any hurry to get a new one, I think it’s difficult for him to remove himself from Terri, he’s used to relying upon her.”
“Yeah, him and you both. Anyway, Ryan, thanks for making me feel bad. Uh, Simon doesn’t write poetry, does he?”
“No, you’re safe there, Randy. That gay guy doesn’t do poetry.” He gestured to the well-known but adapted song lyrics written out on parchment. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have this: something similar, yes, but not this.”
When he met up with Simon before the start of the show he couldn’t resist teasing him over how “Ryan’s the one, right, Simon?”
“He showed it to you?”
“Yeah, as far as he’s concerned he’s got a pretty terrific boyfriend. So is that the kind of thing you do on the flights back and forth?”
“I should take up painting or something.”
“But you have no talent,” Randy pointed out. Hell, Simon co-wrote a song once but it was lyrics based upon a famous poem, probably one without a copyright fee. Simon was never one to overlook an easy opportunity to cash in on something, and now he could make legitimate claim to being a songwriter, since he had that credit. Laughing without admitting to Simon exactly why, he changed the subject to the house the other man was building. “So it’s something really grand?”
“Oh, my dream house, and Ryan’s since he has so much input.”
“You go over the plans together?”
Simon nodded. “It’s our house.”
Ryan came up to hear the last. “Oh, I was showing off to him about the scroll,” he first explained, then, “The new house? It is pretty extravagant.”
“You’ll only be living there part-time, never officially.”
“So true, at least until I’m sixty or something. We should show Randy what’s been drawn up, how it’s all progressing.”
Randy put in, “That way I can pretend I’m in on it.”
“Exactly,” Ryan approved.
“What was wrong with the other house?”
Simon shrugged.
Ryan pointed out, “Not big enough.”
“You’ll be getting both of them,” Simon assured him.
“What’s that?” asked Randy.
“Well, in my Will, he gets both L.A. houses.”
Randy turned to Ryan. “Anything else?”
“Oh, one house in London, another in Barbados, the ones we’ve spent the most time in.”
“It’s sentimental,” Simon confirmed.
“Why do you have two houses anyway?” asked Randy. “Two houses in London, two in Barbados, two now in Los Angeles. It’s crazy, man, you can only live in one.”
It was Ryan who replied. “Oh, if he has a favorite toy, he has to have two of them.”
Randy joked, “That must mean you want two of Ryan.”
“I’ve checked, there are none available,” responded Simon with a grin.
“He’d want me cloned…”
“I can afford it.”
Ryan continued, “But I’ve pointed out to him by the time I matured he’d be too old to take advantage of it.”
“Of you,” Randy corrected.
Simon challenged, “You’re younger than me now.”
Ryan smirked. “And I always will be.”
“And you love that.”
Ryan countered with, “And so do you.”
“But you want an older, more successful and experienced man to be the greatest influence in your life.”
“And that is why we are perfect for each other.”
When they smiled beatifically at each other, Randy figured they were done. “Yeah, so what about that Red Carpet business this weekend, you doing that, Ryan?”
“Of course, but I’ll be seeing you on Monday, right? Simon and I are going to a club, we want you there.”
“Can’t do it, man,” Randy begged off with, “one of the kids is having a birthday.”
“We’ll just say you were there,” noted Simon, “and try to evade the photographers.”
Ryan shared, “Too many of them are catching on. They’re teasing Simon about kissing me, or asking me about Si and him about me, and even asking Simon about his past boyfriends. They don’t know anything, but they’ve figured it out. I guess we’re only in real danger if they start stalking us.”
“Why don’t you just be roommates?” Randy suggested. “Simon’s house is big enough for the two of you, and you’re never at home, Ry, anyway.”
Simon laughed. “That would be a bit too much for the public to swallow.”
When he told Erika the guys wanted him doing the club scene with them, she said, “Just as well you’ve got a birthday of one of your own.”
“You don’t think I play around, do you?”
“Honey, you don’t have time to play around.”
At least he wasn’t in trouble on the home front. He still had his priorities in order. If and when there was a conflict between what his family needed and what his friends needed, the friends had to make do with someone else.
When they were in bed together that night, he confided, “I’m not as romantic as those guys.”
“The gay guys?” she frowned. “You’re really worried about not measuring up against Ryan and Simon?”
“You should see them.”
“I hear about them enough.”
“Ryan gets a scroll and so many other things, half of which I’m sure he doesn’t want or can’t use.”
“But he appreciates where it comes from,” she assured him.
“Simon’s like this piñata, the gifts are always pouring out of him.”
Fortunately, though, Ryan had found his own way of countering and keeping up with the Cowells. “I have to adjust,” he assured Randy. “Simon likes all the extravagance, the constant reminders of how much I love him. He’s all about showing it and I can’t complain about that.” Ryan paused and then took the plunge, “Did I tell you about the hot air balloon adventure for Valentine’s Day? We couldn’t do it on Valentine’s Day cause the operator would have got suspicious, but I stayed up all night with him and the next morning when he was about to go to bed I said not yet and I dragged him out the door and that’s how we faced the dawn. And he loves it when I cook; he’s a crap cook. So I come up with new dishes to try on him. We have such fun in the kitchen.”
Later, Randy mentioned it to Simon. “Ryan cooks for you? I didn’t know he was that interested in food.”
“He’s great in the kitchen; the food is good too.”
Simon laughed and Randy dropped the subject.
Later he listened in as Simon told Paula about the expensive bottle of wine he’d brought back with him from England. It had been purchased on his behalf at an auction in Paris. Simon wasn’t as into wine as Ryan, but he knew his man’s likes.
Paula shook her head over the price. “You really indulge him.”
“What else is money for, than to lavish upon those you love?”
“Maybe if you lived together you wouldn’t see a need to always bring a gift.”
Simon thought it over. “I’d always bring a gift. I know what he likes, and I like to please him. He is very appreciative when he’s happy.”
“What about when he’s not?”
“That can be even more intense.”
She suggested, “I think you argue sometimes just for the makeup sex.”
“That’s not true,” Simon denied it.
It was probably true, Randy thought, since Simon went through hell every time Ryan put him on the shit list. And Ryan tolerated more from Simon than most would, since Simon’s ego took precedence over his lover’s sensitivities, at least in public.
It must be hard being indulgent of a younger spouse while at the same time the satisfaction of one’s own needs was paramount. Thank God they didn’t have children to complicate things.
They were moving past the top ten and heading towards the finale when Paula made her blunder, and why was it always Paula? Randy shook his head over it, helped get her soon-to-be-infamous critique of a performance before it had been aired before the television audience off the show’s red alert, assisted by Ryan, or he’d assisted Ryan, it wasn’t altogether clear.
That wasn’t all that was going on, as that Jason Castro, he seemed to cloud men’s minds, as they said about THE SHADOW. He’d already lasted longer in the competition than he should have, and didn’t seem too interested in hanging around any further either.
David Cook was having a difficult time, not that it showed in his performance, but the AC designation he was wearing on his jacket wasn’t a tribute to any band but to his brother, who’d been the reason he auditioned for IDOL. The bro was in the midst of a medical crisis, but everyone hoped he’d make it to the end of the competition, rather than having an emergency that would involve the leading contender dropping out just before the finale. “I think this competition is what’s keeping him going, he wants to see me succeed,” David told Ryan backstage, though on-stage the brother wasn’t being alluded to, no drama for IDOL to cash in on or to elicit any sympathy voting for David, and by David’s choice.
Randy asked, “Would you listen to little David?” meaning Archuleta.
“I wouldn’t be,” said Simon, “but he should sell lots of records. He’s got the little girls and the grandmas.”
It was quickly shaping up to be a David vs. David finale, as the women couldn’t compete and Jason had no right to be in it this long.
Though Randy always pimped the top ten of any season, he admitted to a privileged few this was the weakest season ever.
In the IDOL audience were always fans and family members carrying signs and other indications of the support they extended their chosen one, but sometimes those signs were directed to pledging allegiance to Simon and Ryan.
Randy particularly loved the sign a woman was holding up in the audience, the one saying her husband was man-crushing on Ryan. Ryan got a kick out of it as well, but didn’t say anything. So Randy decided to needle Simon about it during the commercial break. “So that’s cute, huh, that woman’s hubby crushing on Ryan and she doesn’t mind?”
“It happens,” Simon’s response was grim.
“Ah, come on, you’re proud of him.”
Simon frowned as if it shouldn’t be in doubt. “Of course I am.”
“Wow, you really think everyone wants to fuck Ryan, don’t you?”
Simon didn’t answer, just glared at him for a moment, then glanced away.
By the time Ryan was bringing them back from commercial, Randy had forgotten the whole thing.
Erika told him later her favorite moment of the season was when Ryan kissed Simon atop the head. “It took him a while to remember to be not so pleased about it.”
He usually watched the broadcast of the show, on tape delay to the West Coast, with her.
In the history of the show, they sailed through to the finale, having gotten the drama over with before the top twelve, but this was a subversive year, any fireworks to be had was taking place behind the scenes – like with David Cook’s brother or little David’s father – or on camera, with Paula’s blowing it over Jason’s performance review or Brooke flat-out dropping the intro of her song and starting over, the first time that ever happened on IDOL.
Simon was looking particularly depressed one Results night and so Randy asked, “Are you really upset about the outcome?” He knew Simon was anticipating the David vs. David showdown.
“Season ending,” is all Simon said.
But Randy knew what that meant. He was depressed every season IDOL ended, from the first one to this, and knew Ryan and his fellow judges were as well. That meant less time with each other, less structured an existence, less anticipation the next vocal would be the one to blow you out of the water.
Oh, but for Simon it was one more thing. Though he’d be flying to London to tape his shows over the weekend, he was always in a hurry to race back. At the least, he’d meet up with Ryan somewhere, maybe Miami. But the ending of IDOL meant more time in London, less excuse to race back to Los Angeles, hell, less time with Ryan.
When they weren’t together, they seemed to be waiting on each other.
“It’s a cardinal sin against performing,” Paula maintained, probably to her dying breath, he thought. “You always continue on, you never stop and start it over,” she was saying about Brooke White, as if she hadn’t gotten over it, as if the blonde was out of favor permanently.
“It was more dramatic,” is how Simon remembered it, “and more real. I liked her after that, and the audience did too. That might not save her though. She and Jason seemed to have a pass from the audience this season, but they have to go, the Davids are too consistent and their votes are still high. Neither of them has been in the bottom three.”
“A season pass,” said Randy, “I like that.”
Ryan came up to them backstage in time to hear the last, “So it’s a season pass, for what, the Lakers?”
Randy knew Ryan didn’t attend many games but the man was sports-literate. When he questioned Ryan’s proficiency once, Ryan was in his face with “Why not? I’m athletic.”
“Just the weakest links,” Simon told him to explain it away. “You ready?”
Randy didn’t ask where they were going, they usually disappeared after a show, just like in the audition cities at the start of the season, once the last audition of the day was over with, they were all out the door, but Simon and Ryan were on their own after that.
Sometimes they left the soundstage together, sometimes not, sometimes they met up with friends, and sometimes they seemed to meet back at home for a dinner Ryan prepared and which they’d be bragging about afterwards. No matter what they did beforehand, they did, however, always watch the show together and they’d been doing that for years.
Paula was dating again, and she bid Randy farewell as she took off into the night, the California sun still high in the spring, the show having been produced live for the East Coast broadcast, and now on tape delay for the rest of them.
Well, that meant going home to dinner with his wife and kids and watching the show with them. It was family night in the Jackson home.
He turned his cell phone back on and checked his messages as he made for the studio exit.
In the final weeks leading to the conclusion, Brooke broke down when terminated from the competition, as Jason went on self-destruct in a single episode, and Syesha looked and sounded beautiful but her song choices were proving erratic. It was becoming obvious the last woman standing wasn’t going to make it to the final.
They were ending up with what the judges predicted long ago, the David vs. David confrontation, which lacked drama in itself but there had been so many firsts in the competition prior to the finale – Jason Castro’s fuck-ups on his final song choices as well as Brooke’s deterioration – it hardly seemed to matter, as whichever David you favored they were both good, and likely to be successful.
In the meantime Paula had another controversial moment, only the audience didn’t seem to notice, when she pointed out she was a member of a “boys club” on the show (her fellow judges and Ryan) but that was being “questionable.” Even Simon let that one go.
At one point, Ryan did put a halt on Simon’s critiquing little David, saying it was getting too personal, but as Ryan explained later, “He’s just an innocent boy. I know I wasn’t innocent when I was seventeen, and neither were you, Si, but David is an innocent. And I really don’t want to be picking him up off the floor after he’s passed out from one of your critiques. The audience will turn against you for sure.”
When Simon was smart, he listened to Ryan. “His instincts are better than mine.”
“That’s because I’m more attuned to humanity.”
Not underestimating little David, Randy thought the kid had to be plenty tough to survive the family he had, but then again wasn’t the kid saying he sang Stand By Me in his room? Why was he spending so much time in his room? In Randy’s world, that meant you were trying to escape something.
Randy shook his head over poor Ryan, who over the season had already been catering to the nervous unease of Brooke, the lack of brain wattage of Jason Castro, and Syesha’s breakdown on-stage during her turn with the judges.
Once again, Ryan had been caught off guard and asking for a tissue to be brought to him on-stage. Either Ryan was too self-conscious of being on-camera or maybe he didn’t like Syesha enough, because with Nadia and Jordin in seasons past, he gifted them of his tie.
Perhaps in reaction to the top fives’ issues, Ryan did proclaim to the judges his favorite to win was David Cook, if only because the guy didn’t bring instability into the work environment, even though out of all of them Cook was dealing with something consequential, the illness of his brother.
But Erika liked hearing about how after the show, Simon rebuked Ryan for their finger flirting when Ryan was sitting in Randy’s chair, but he did it with a big grin on his face.
THE END