Work Text:
A Week In De Life Of Remy LeBeau
by Xanax
LadyXanax@hotmail.com
Le Journal Intime Du Remy LeBeau
10/13/02
Fearless Leader says I should try to improve my English by keeping a journal. Even gave me a book to write in…his was way nicer, dough, so I absconded with it instead. (See, just because I don’t speak proper English doesn’t mean I can’t, Remy’s not as stupid as everyone around here seems to t’ink…) It’s best just to humor him…oderwise he might fin’ly pop that vein that’s always poppin’ out on his forehead every time he gets all steamed up…
10/14/02
Rogue’s taken to calling me “the X-Slut”. I know I should be offended, but it’s kind of hard to argue with the logic behind it…
Logan’s been makin’ eyes at me all day t’day. Mebbe I should take him up on it…
10/15/02
3:35 p.m.
…Oh, bon dieu…dis is de best sex I’ve ever had…and dat’s sayin’ somethin’! …I know, you’re wonderin’ how Remy’s writin’ this if he’s getting fucked senseless, neh? Dat’s ‘cause I ain’t writin’ it, I’m dictatin’…t’encule moi!…Bobby owes me a favor or two…oh, OH, OUI!…
6:00 p.m.
…Stupid Bobby, the connard bolted on me right when I was in the middle of…anyway, the point is dat Drake is gonna pay big time. He’s gonna be regrettin’ de day he crossed Remy Etienne LeBeau, dat’s for damn sure.
10/16/02
4:30 p.m.
Bobby’s stupid head put a dent in my journal…’course my journal put a dent in his head too, so s’pose we’re even… Uh-oh, here comes Hank…
4:35 p.m.
Why, God? Why?! Why did Jubilee’s room have to be de closest escape route?! Dis has to be some sort of horrible punishment for all de t’ings I’ve done wrong in my life…
4:45 p.m.
For de love of God, Remy is not s’posed to have curlers in his hair! …De mascara’s nice dough and de blush really brings out my cheekbones… Gah, what am I saying?!
6:10 p.m. (my room)
Finally…I t’ought Jubes was never gonna let me out of dere. I just know she’s been waiting for the chance to do that to me, no one’s dat prepared without a reason. …Merde! How de hell do dese fake eyelashes come off?!
10/17/02
Glad everyone’s getting deir ha-ha’s at my expense. Remy looks like Tammy Fay Baker fer Christ’s sake! God damn eyelashes won’t come off and de smeared mascara ain’t helpin’!
10/18/02
One-Eye’s got his panties in a twist again. He’s in full “Fearless Leader: Protector of Hallways” mode again ‘n just about clotheslined me earlier when I was chasin’ Bobby. Luckily he just waxed de floors (for de 3rd time in a week) yesterday, so’s dey were good and slippery and I managed to bellyflop and slide under his arm. Damn fool nearly took Remy’s head off!
10/19/02
10/20/02
10/21/02
10/22/02
Fin’ly got my journal back. Logan was holdin’ it for ransom and you wouldn’t believe de price he was askin’ to get it back…dat homme is one sick individual, let me tell you… Now de question is how I’m gonna make it de rest of de week wit’out sittin’ down…
end