Work Text:
Neighbor's Viewpoint: "Confrontation with a God"
by Pirate Turner
This was it! Trish Tilby thought. She used both hands to grip her microphone so as to keep herself from rubbing them together in glee. Since her interview with Mickey Mouse that had gone so awry, she had been constantly on the hunt for a new interview that would bring in even higher ratings. She had even considered finding a way to contact Sabertooth and giving him the Mouse's hospital room number and would have done just that if the mere thought of speaking to the savage Creed didn't terrify her.
But now, at last, the Fates, who sat playing Snake Eyes with one sister's dislocated eyeballs at a corner table deep within the shadows of the nightclub, had smiled upon her and placed her in the position that she was in such desperate need of. At last, she had a ratings-claiming story just waiting for a small nudge in the right direction, and she was more than ready to give it that needed nudge. She moved through the crowd with a silent gesture to her camera man to follow her.
"Is this seat taken, handsome?"
The hulking man who had been sitting with his elbows on the table looked up at her briefly. "Nay, 'tis open."
Trish's eyebrows rose slightly at his old speech even as his deep voice sent a thrill shooting through her. It was rare that she met any one who enticed her beyond what she could get out of an interview, but she had to admit that the man had a really hot bod as she sat down beside him. His blue eyes were riveted to the stage where a cartoon was playing, but hers trailed slowly down his body before she forcibly moved them to his tankard instead. She wondered if the frothy beverage therein was truly the drink of the Gods and, if it was, what it would do to her if she were to drink it.
Trish waited a few minutes, glancing every now and then at the redheaded lad at the next table. When she had about decided that her prey was not going to start the conversation, he burst out laughing and smacked his hand down on the table. "That Goofy!" he announced, grinning broadly. "He gets me every time!"
Though Trish was taken by surprise, she quickly recovered. "Really?" she asked, grabbing the opening. "And just how does a dog get a God?"
"Well, he is funny," he remarked, as though it was obvious.
Trish glanced at the screen, then refocused her full attention on the man in front of her. "Is it true?" she asked. "Are you really a God?"
"Aye, though I am not of Their liking. My Father says I dally with ye mortals too much, especially now that we Avengers have moved to Disney."
"Who is your father?" Trish pressed, leaning in closer.
Thor laughed. "Woman, surely ye jest! Ye know of me, but yet ye know not my Father?"
She shook her head. "Should I know Him?"
"He is only the greatest God of Them all, the All Mighty Odin!" Thor exclaimed, his voice unconsciously rising a couple of decibels.
That sparked conversation at the next table, and Trish grinned knowingly. "I've heard the name," she admitted slowly, "but, for some reason, I thought your father was Zeus? Isn't He the All Mighty God?"
"Zeus Smeus!" Thor cried. "Woman, do ye not know anything? Odin is the All Powerful One! He is King of the Gods!"
"No, He's not!"
In one graceful movement of fluid muscle, Thor sprang to his feet, knocking the chair down behind him, and whirled to meet the owner of the young voice. The Disney character called Hercules stood just behind him, his small hands balled into fists as he glared up at him. "Zeus is my Father," he announced, "and He is King of the Gods! I don't know who this Odin character is, but He is not the All Mighty! That's my Father!"
"My Father is the All Mighty!" Thor bellowed in return, his anger rising quickly. "This Zeus you speak of is not even fit to lick His boots!"
"What kind of a name is Odin any way?" the teen countered. "It sounds like a name of a dog. Pluto, Goofy, Odin." He nodded, convinced. "Yup. Definitely sounds like a dog to me."
Thor struck, slamming his fist straight into Hercules' face. Hercules flew across the room and came down hard on a table where Tramp and some of his canine friends had been playing poker. They scrambled, barking wildly. Hercules shook his head slowly but, despite seeing little, yellow birds chirping around his head, he pushed himself to his feet.
"Watch what you say about My Father," Thor warned. "Only I am allowed to speak of Him like that, and I have the scars to prove it."
"Poor, pitiful Goldilocks!" Hercules mocked, having no idea of just who or what the man before him was. He only knew that he claimed his father was the All Mighty. Hercules would have tried to get to know him if he had claimed to be Zeus' descendent, but instead he waltzed into the House of Mouse, declaring that Zeus was nothing and that his father, some fellow called Odin, was the All Mighty King of the Gods instead! His Father's reputation had hounded him his entire life, and Hercules had striven since a babe to prove himself worthy.
Now Hercules saw only the redness of anger as he plowed forward. "Your Daddy was so mean to you! Need a blanky? Too bad!" He drove his fist toward the blonde man's face, and his opponent made no move to stop him.
It was Thor who was taken by surprise as Hercules' punch sent him flying in the opposite direction from whence he'd sent the boy. He landed on the stage, crushing Mickey and Mike underneath him and unplugging several cords. Lights flickered. The television cut off.
Now, at last, more of the customers were beginning to pay attention to what was happening. Most scurried out of the way of the brawl, some even literally lifting their skirts as they ran as though afraid they were going to get something grimy upon them, but the villains and some of the younger characters chanted instead. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" They pounded their tables in rhythm to their chanting.
Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goofy, and Max rushed on to the stage. Thor rose with ease, though not with anywhere near as much ease as he expected or would have liked. The Disney classics hurried to see about Mickey, overlooking both Thor and Mike in their concern.
Thor rubbed his jaw. "Lucky punch," he grumbled.
Captain America had risen to his feet at the first sign of trouble but had only been watching until now. "Thor," he started to call but was cut off by the Thunder God's hand waving dismissingly in his direction.
"This is my fight, Captain. You want to play rough, child? Then let's play!" He jumped off of the stage and rushed Hercules. Hercules stood his ground but regretted a second later as Thor plowed into his body with such force he was sent spiraling backwards and crashing into the wall. He shook the birds off once more, sprang back to his sandaled feet, and ran at Thor.
Thor side stepped Hercules. Hercules turned with his fist raised to strike, but Thor caught his fist in his hand and squeezed. A lesser man's bones would have broken. Hercules cried out in pain, stomped Thor's foot, and groped blindly around to grab something with his free hand. That hand found Thor's hair. He swiftly caught a handful of his long, blonde hair and yanked with all his might. Thor screamed but refused to go down; instead he swept his legs underneath Hercules and knocked the Grecian to his back.
Thor felt tenderly of his hair while Hercules struggled to return to his feet for a third time. Icaraus' voice cheering him on gave him the extra push he needed. While Thor continued to check over his hair, Hercules stood again, wavering slightly, and promptly slammed both fists into Thor's stomach.
Thor slid backwards and fought to stop his momentum. His boots dug a hole into the floor of the House of Mouse. His backside knocked into a table, sending drinks splattering everywhere and Cruella DeVil, Jafar, Ursula, Maleficent, and Mystique snarling threats that were meaningless to the Thunder God. He pulled his hammer, swung it once, and slammed it into the floor. Lightning raced over the floor and exploded into Hercules, who flipped through the air and took out a light fixture before falling back down. Another table shattered beneath his weight.
Hercules' head pounded, and the blasted birds' chirping was louder than ever before. He pressed a hand to his throbbing head while he let out a moan.
"Had enough yet, little man?" Thor taunted him from somewhere across the room.
Hercules squinted in his direction, but the blonde man seemed to be multiplying before his eyes. Were there two of him? Three? Four? "No fair," he murmured, "multiplying."
"Now as I was saying," Thor continued as he retrieved Mjlonir, "My Father is the All Powerful God . . . "
"Your father isn't . . . " Hercules started as he forced himself up yet again.
Before the two could continue their fight, an angry voice boomed throughout the club, "CHILDREN, BEHAVE!"
Both men stopped, frozen to the spot. They lifted huge eyes toward the ceiling and called out in shaky voices, "Father?"
"AYE, IT IS I, BOTH ODIN AND ZEUS!"
Hercules and Thor looked at each other, their faces ashen, their mouths open, and their eyes bugging. "OH FATHER!"
"OH INDEED," the voice boomed. "YOU BOTH KNOW BETTER THAN THIS. I AM KNOWN BY MANY NAMES, THOSE WHO YOU KNOW ME BY ONLY BEING A COUPLE OF A MILLION. NOW BEHAVE AND DO NOT MAKE ME CALL UPON YOU AGAIN."
When all had quieted but the talking amongst the characters and Thor and Hercules were standing in the midst of broken furniture looking sheepishly at each other, Trish turned eagerly to her camera man. "You got all that, right?"
He grinned at her. "Yup!"
"This is going to be a world exclusive!" she thrilled, rubbing her hands together.
A crackling sound was the only warning they received before a lightning bolt hit the camera. It broke in two, and the tape went up in smoke. Trish screamed her rage, but her cry was silenced by shock as the voice spoke again, "KNOW ME AND SHARE MY LOVE BUT DO NOT SHARE THIS KNOWLEDGE. WHEN IT IS TIME, THEY WILL KNOW. NOW LEAVE MY SONS ALONE, TRISH TILBY, AND SEEK YOUR STORIES ELSEWHERE." Thunder rumbled, and Trish fled before the lightning could hit her instead of her video.
The End