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Archive Warning:
Category:
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Language:
English
Series:
Part 5 of The Phoenix Saga
Collections:
Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
Stats:
Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
583
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
4
Hits:
1,101

Immortal

Summary:

[A song fic based on Evanescense's "My Immortal"
Did anybody else think this was written just for Jack?]

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Immortal
by LavenderJade

 

Christmas Day, 2000 - right after "Phoenix"
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

He stood alone at the gravesite.  A cold wind whipped around him, but he didn’t notice it.  He sighed.  “Hello, Claire.  Or is it goodbye?  I’ve missed you so much, grieved for so long.  I’m tired, Claire.  Tired of being alone; tired of being haunted by you everywhere I turn.”

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

“When does it end, Claire?  When can I stop hurting?  It’s been five years, and I still miss you.  For so long the pain was the only thing real in my world; nothing else mattered.  I thought that by now I’d be able to move on.  But time alone wasn’t working.  It took something more.”

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

“I wanted us to have a life together, Claire.  But I never got the chance to tell you that.  We were so busy, we never took time for the little things.  But somehow, you still managed to make me yours.  You owned my heart without even trying.”

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

“Damn, it, Claire.  We were so good together.  Your mind, your body, so perfect.  I used to love arguing with you.  Until that last argument.  We never got to kiss and make up from that one, Claire.  I dream of how we used to make up.  Once upon a time, it gave me pleasure.  Now it just reminds me you’re not here.  

“I’ve done things, Claire.  Things you would hate.  Abused my position, almost railroaded a drunk driver into a death penalty sentence he didn’t deserve, just to avenge your death.  I can’t take it anymore, Claire.  I almost lost it there.  Almost lost everything I had left that mattered.”

The tears streamed down his face as he thought again of the price he had almost paid.  Even then, it had only been through Lennie’s intervention that he had found the will to fight back, to reclaim his life.  

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

“I’m not alone anymore, Claire.  I finally found someone to love.  He’s my life now, my love, my reason for going on.  It’s time to move on.  I hope you understand.  You’ll always be a part of me, but not all of me.  Not anymore.  Goodbye, Claire.”

He turned away and walked to the motorcycle parked on the side of the road.  He looked back once as he kicked the engine to life, then tore off down the road.  Heading home, to his lover; the one who had made him feel alive again after all these years.  No, not alone any more …

 

 

end

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author LavenderJade.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.

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