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One chance
by Lilithangel
“Jim, why aren’t you in the operating theatre?” Owen demanded.
Jim looked at him in confusion. “You called and said you’d changed your mind, we discussed it and you decided to try chemo first. You only just left the office, are you alright?”
“Is this some sort of joke?” Owen said, “I didn’t agree to anything of the sort. Where’s Katie?”
“In her room where you were going just before.” Jim put a careful hand on Owen’s arm. “You sure you’re feeling alright? It’s been a pretty stressful time for you both; maybe you should get some rest.”
“I want to see Katie,” Owen insisted, he spun on his heel and headed back down the corridor, determined to find out exactly what had happened. He knew for a fact he hadn’t spoken to Jim about any bloody chemo. Katie was too far gone, surgery was her only hope.
A helpful nurse sent him in the right direction with a concerned look but he couldn’t see anything but his own worry. Before he got to her door a figure stepped out and stopped him.
“What the hell?” he said, staring at someone who looked exactly like him.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” his doppelganger said, “so shut up and listen. In a few minutes a flash American is going to come barreling in to take over. Listen to him but don’t let him bully you. Make him help her.”
“Who the hell are you and why are you impersonating me?” Owen demanded.
“I am you. Look it’s too bizarre and too long a story, but it involves nuclear power stations, alien life-giving gloves and one chance to change things. The surgery will kill her and everyone else in the room.” The figure was wavering in his vision, like damaged movie film but it was still him.
“Katie needs the surgery,” he said, “I should have you arrested for interfering.”
“I’m dead so there’s not a lot of point.” The figure laughed. “Just wait for Harkness and listen to him, maybe it will save her. We’ve just got one chance to fix everything so don’t be stupid about it, this is for Katie. And don’t let him get close enough to chloroform you.”
Owen watched as his ghost or hallucination turned and walked into Katie’s room. She was asleep and didn’t stir when the figure bent down and brushed a soft kiss on her hair.
“She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, at least keep trying,” Owen said before disappearing.
Owen hurried over to Katie but she slept on. His legs suddenly couldn’t support him so he sat down heavily on the chair beside the bed. Maybe it had all been too much; he was tired from staying up late to watch over Katie, from arguing with the doctors and searching desperately for something with more hope than Alzheimer’s disease.
The door swung open and a tall man in a long greatcoat loomed over the room.
“Thank god they didn’t operate,” the stranger said with an American accent.
“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in here?” Owen demanded.
“Captain Jack Harkness, I’m Torchwood,” was the reply.
“He told me you’d be coming,” Owen said, “what the hell is going on?”
“Who told you?” Jack demanded.
“I did,” Owen said, “or my hallucination did, but how it knew who you were I don’t know. What’s wrong with Katie and why would someone pretending to be me stop the surgery?”
“I told them they had to stop it, that it was too dangerous but they didn’t listen,” Jack said, “You say they listened to you?”
“Not me,” Owen said impatiently, “he looked like me and he disappeared from this room. Tell me what the fuck is going on and how it will help Katie?” Owen hissed, trying not to yell and wake Katie.
“Disappeared as in climbed out the window?” Jack asked.
“No, disappeared as in faded away.”
Jack flipped the cover off an overlarge wrist strap and checked the room. “Evidence of something, almost like a time shift but…” he said with a frown and darted to the window. “No reapers in sight. Why would you have come back to here?” he mused.
“Why would I what?” Owen demanded. “What do you know about Katie?”
Jack turned and looked at him. “I’m sorry; she has an alien incubating in her brain. If we try to cut it out of her it will kill everyone in the room.”
“You’re insane,” Owen said flatly. “I’m calling the police.”
“And I’ll tell them it’s a Torchwood issue and they’ll go away,” Jack said.
“Just like that?” Owen scoffed.
“Just like that,” Jack replied. “I’m really very sorry, but there’s nothing we can do for Katie.” He moved closer to Owen who stepped back quickly.
“He warned me about chloroform,” Owen said, “so keep your hands to yourself.”
Jack smiled wryly and raised his hands peacefully. “We’ll get another scan done and I’ll show you what’s in her brain. I wish there was more I could do, I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that,” Owen said in irritation, “she’s not dead yet and she’s not going to be.”
“Owen?” Katie’s voice was shaky, “what’s happening, is the surgery over?”
Owen ignored Jack completely and went to her side. “There was a complication, but don’t worry you’ll be fine. We might have to reschedule the surgery.”
“It can’t happen,” Jack said, but was silenced by a murderous look from Owen.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Owen said, kissing Katie gently.
Owen dragged Jack out of the room and pushed him against a wall. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t call security and get you thrown out of here while I beg Jim to ignore what I said earlier and do the surgery.”
“It won’t help her and it will kill everyone in the room with her,” Jack repeated, not reacting to Owen’s anger.
“That’s what he said,” Owen replied, releasing Jack, “what is going on?”
“It’s hard to explain,” Jack said, “but there’s something growing in her brain and surgery won’t work.”
“Then what will?” Owen demanded.
“Nothing,” Jack said.
“There has to be something,” Owen said, “There’s always something.”
Jack made a call and got them a scan. Owen was too worried to care how he did it and paid no attention to the confused looks from Jim and the other staff. The higher ups made it abundantly clear, Torchwood got whatever it wanted with no complaint.
“How is that possible?” Owen said, staring at the huge mass now covering most of Katie’s brain. “Yesterday it was only half that size. Nothing grows that fast. If you say we can’t cut it out, what else can we do?”
“There’s nothing, I’m sorry,” Jack said again, “when it breaks out we have to contain it, make sure it doesn’t send out spores.”
“Breaks out, like bursting out of her skull?” Owen said incredulously.
“Something like that,” Jack said, “the best we can do is make her comfortable, ease her pain.”
“She hasn’t had pain,” Owen said with a frown, “just periods of forgetfulness.”
“I’m afraid the pain is coming,” Jack replied, “There’s not going to be enough room in her head soon.”
“This is crazy,” Owen said, his voice rising to a yell. “You’re a lunatic and this isn’t helping Katie. What about radiation or chemotherapy?”
“The level needed would kill her anyway,” Jack said, he placed a comforting hand on Owen’s shoulder.
“How do you know?” Owen said, shrugging off his hand. “Why the bloody hell am I listening to you anyway? You’re not a doctor; you’re a fucking weirdo with a military fetish. Katie hasn’t got much time left, whatever’s in her head is going to kill her and I’m not going to let it happen. If there’s nothing else for it then we have to operate.”
“Are you willing to risk the lives of everyone in the operating theatre?” Jack said.
“This is insane,” Owen said, “there has to be something I can do.”
“You can be with her, make her comfortable,” Jack said, “Tell her you love her.”
“That’s not going to help,” Owen said in despair.
“Trust me, it will,” Jack said, his comforting hand accepted this time.
“It’s not enough,” Owen said, “we have to do something, there has to be someway of getting it out. I’m not going to just stand by and watch her die.”
But he had to. Owen forced Jack to come up with ideas, used radiation and chemotherapy anyway, until Katie begged him to stop. The official record said inoperable brain tumour and Katie had accepted the news a lot faster than Owen had.
“I don’t want to die,” she said to him, “but I don’t want this either.” She gestured helplessly at her wasted body, visible tremors in her hands. “You have to let me go soon.”
Owen took her hands carefully in his and kissed each fingertip. “How can I let you go? You’re my everything.” He hid his tears behind a determined smile.
“Not even you can defeat death,” she said with a sigh. “Don’t let me hang in limbo,” she begged, “don’t force yourself into the same fate.”
“I love you,” he said, his voice breaking.
“I know,” Katie said, “I love you.”
She said it again for the last time and Owen crumpled. Morphine had dulled the pain and her awareness of the world to a fog that only those words released.
Owen sat there as Jack and his team wrapped Katie’s body in something to trap the alien and stop it spreading more spores.
“What happens now?” Owen asked dully, barely noticing the two women who moved Katie’s body onto a gurney, barely noticing Katie now she was dead. The body wasn’t her, his Katie was gone.
“Owen, why did you become a doctor?” Jack said.
“I thought if I could save one life, mine would be worthwhile. But you save one... and there's another. And another. All clawing at you, demanding to be saved. And even if you do succeed, you can never save enough. And you can never save the ones that matter.”
“Maybe with me you can,” Jack said, “I need a medic; you need a job away from here, away from all the things that will only remind you of her. In Cardiff maybe you can remember the good things.”
“Why not?” Owen said with a shrug.
They buried her on a cold autumn morning and he got to say goodbye. Torchwood had her brain and Owen didn’t care so long as he never saw it and didn’t have to think about it. Afterwards he hired a company to pack up his flat and give everything to charity. He got very, very drunk and turned up in Cardiff two days later, hung over and not interested in the wonders Jack showed him.
His first real assignment was to investigate an alien that crashed into Big Ben. When the Space Pig came to life on the autopsy table he was holding it down when some arrogant Northern git strode in and took over.
“Look, I’m the doctor here,” Owen said.
“So am I,” the man said.
“What sort of doctor?” Owen demanded.
“All sorts,” was the irritatingly vague reply.
While they were arguing the pig escaped only to be gunned down by a trigger happy soldier. They had a brief moment of shared understanding before laying into the soldier who quickly backed away.
“I just assumed that's what alien's look like. But you're saying it's an ordinary pig? From Earth?” Owen said incredulously.
“More like a mermaid. Victorian showmen used to draw the crowds by taking the skull of a cat and gluing it to a fish and calling it a mermaid. Now, someone's taken a pig, opened up its brain, stuck bits on... then they strapped it in that ship and made it dive bomb. It must've been terrified. They've taken this animal and turned it into a joke.” The strange doctor glowered and Owen had to fight off the urge to apologise for humanity which made him a bit crotchety.
“So it's a fake. But the technology augmenting its brain... it's like nothing on Earth. It's alien. Aliens are faking aliens. But why would they do that...?” Owen looked around but he was alone. “Plonker,” he said. Running into the corridor he found nothing.
Returning to Cardiff felt like coming home. Home to a dysfunctional family in many ways but a better home than he’d had before Katie. Suzie was too intense, Tosh was too nervous and Jack was too much, but Owen was content. Katie was gone and it wasn’t fair, but life wasn’t fair and at least he got to say goodbye.
Owen Harper was a good doctor, maybe even a genius in his chosen field. He helped to catch aliens and save the world. He had a cool car and a funky apartment to bring birds back to. He was a bit of a prat and couldn’t see what was in front of him when it came to other people’s emotions, but he wasn’t an angry man. He was a passionate man and that got him into trouble sometimes but Torchwood was there to get him out of it again, especially when they were the ones that started it.
Memories of a ghost in Katie’s room faded because that Owen never existed. This Owen had his second chance.
Some things changed and some things didn’t because when Owen fell in love he fell hard and he’d never been good at dealing with loss. But he was willing to accept help from the people who had known Katie and given him the family he’d been looking for.
END