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Uriel had been the first to outwardly question his loyalty. He had dared to pose the possibility that Castiel, an angel of the Lord, felt more devotion towards a human than towards his Creator. Castiel hadn't understood his own anger at first. He knew Uriel did not have the same admiration for their Father's earthly creations that he had, but Uriel was still his Brother and he'd always believed the other angel thought more of him.
He didn't understand how the other angels couldn't see the miracle of humanity, especially ones such as Uriel, who seemed to understand more of the ways of mortal man than most- humour was not exactly naturally ingrained in an angel's makeup. But somehow, instead of that knowledge and understanding highlighting the awe and magnificence of humanity, it seemed to sharpen Uriel's distaste for it. It was his own dawning comprehension of situations like this that made Castiel understand his charge's annoyance with the angels- however much of an enigma man may be to the Hosts of Heaven, sometimes the angels themselves were even greater mysteries to him.
Castiel had always known he felt more for humanity than most, Anna had seen to that. She saw the beauty and potential of them, and received great pleasure from sharing that beauty with him and any other of their fellow bretheren who would listen and watch. At times Castiel wondered if she made the right decision, choosing to live among them, as one of them. She had gotten to LIVE- freely, to follow her heart, and to have the thing Castiel wanted most.
The pain and anger he felt over that act was more than he'd ever thought possible for an angel to feel. He'd seen so much, both on the terrestrial plane and the celestial one, he'd fought through the Pits of Hell and raised the champion of the Host back to the mortal coil, yet nothing prepared him for the pain of knowing his sister had been with his charge.
Even with the pain Anna inadvertently caused him, it wasn't until Uriel went to their superiors, reporting Castiel's questionable loyalties, that he'd realized how definitively he did, in fact, care for these humans- his charge in particular.
That realization had been the hardest for him to handle. He had always been loyal, followed his orders, believed in the words of his superiors as the words of their Father.
Now...
Now, he wanted.
Now, he was curious.
Now, he felt and desired.
Now, his loyalties lay with one mortal man. A man who would own his heart, soul, and body with just one word. It pained Castiel to know that that word didn't even have to be the word he longed to hear, but merely an acceptance of the angel's loyalty to him and a desire to know the angel was there for him and only him.
With one word every part of Castiel would be his- love, loyalty, and life. All Dean Winchester had to do was ask.