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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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2,108
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
15
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1,496

A Step Forward

Summary:

CW RPS: Chris Kane/Dave Boreanaz friendship, Chris/Jensen preslash. Dave helps (pushes) Chris into taking a step in the right direction. Follows: A Day Late and a Dollar Short.

Work Text:

Angry and defensive, Chris stopped and spat out, “You think I’m weak, a fucking pussy?”

Pissed, Chris’s thumb hovered over 'disconnect' on his cell... waiting, ready for any excuse to hang up. The connection was clear enough that he could hear Dave’s frustrated sigh, could almost see him rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. “No, that's not what I said... don't put your words in my mouth. You’re the one who thinks you're weak, and you're reacting based on that. Believe it or not, I think you’re wrong.”

Closing his eyes, his thumb settled more firmly over the button; he only had to add a bit more pressure to disconnect. He didn’t know how, but Dave’s next words confirmed that he somehow gave himself away.  Either that or Dave was psychic.

“Don’t you dare hang up! You’re doing it again, just running scared. Just stay with…”

Chris didn't bother listening to the rest, his thumb pressing down then quickly flipping his cell closed. Almost immediately it started ringing. He didn’t have to see the display to know it was Dave calling him back. At the fourth ring it stopped, then started again. Fucker wasn’t going to allow it to go to voice mail. It would be so easy if he could just shut it off or put the ringer on mute, just ignore the fucker’s calls. Fact was he couldn’t shut it off, and Dave knew that. He had too many other commitments - business people that would call him. People he couldn’t put off. Putting it on mute wouldn’t work either, as he’d still have to check the caller ID each time, and would still know each time Dave called.

He stood rigid, pissed enough that he wanted to hit something. Hit Dave if the sonofabitch was here, knowing in his gut that his friend wouldn’t give up, he’d keep calling. Fucker.

After the fourth cycle of Dave ringing, hanging up and calling again, Chris finally picked up.

Neither said anything for a while.  Then Dave asked, “Are you done?”

Jaw clenched to keep from grinding his teeth, he took a deep breath through his nose, and nodded before replying, “I don’t think I can, not by myself.”

“You don’t need me holding your hand.”

He swallowed hard. “Yeah I do. It’s been five months…”

“If I could. I’d be there. But trust me... if he didn’t want things to work out, or was too freaked out, he’d never have invited you. He’s still your friend; he wants you in his life. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be alone, everyone else is gonna be there. I don’t know, if you need to, call Hodge. He’s in town right? See if he’s available.”

Chris choked. “What, as a date?”

Dave chuckled, “Fine, if that works for you, but I was thinking more along the lines of as a friend. You know, for support. I mean they worked together, so it wouldn’t be strange, right?”

Distractedly Chris nodded, then nervously stated before he trailed off into silence, “Yeah, yeah, yeah…”

“Chris, you’re gonna be fine. We worked things out, and it’ll happen with you and Jensen. You just gotta meet him half way.”

Chris’s lips rolled into a thin line and pressed tight, his face solemn. He couldn’t deny it, he was scared as hell that he had fucked things up beyond the point of fixing them. Dave interrupted, “Listen I gotta get going, but I’m here. Call me, ok?”

Silence followed.

“Chris?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“It’ll be fine. If you don’t call me, I’ll call you, ok?”

With a heavy sigh, Chris agreed and hung up. Without analyzing it, he scrolled through his address book until he found Aldis’ number and pushed send. Relieved, Chris smiled when Aldis picked up on the second ring. Then breathed a silent thanks, that he was free and more than willing to join him.

*~*~*~

Thankfully they took separate cars, Aldis following behind him so they could arrive together while still allowing him to leave at any time.

Once they parked, a nervous Chris couldn’t help but glance at his watch, again calculating exactly how long he’d have to put in.

Built up anticipation and anxiety had his heart beating double time, jittering butterflies battling in his gut worse than they ever had with Dave, or for that matter, even back when he had to apologize in front of the entire class, back in fourth grade, in gym glass when he'd de-pantsed Jamie Kastle.

Nerves aside, in the end, Jen made it easier then he expected. Not that it stopped Jensen from grabbing him, pulling him into a tight hug, before he pulled back and proceeded with congratulatory backslapping until he just left one arm there draped over his shoulder in a half hug. Without missing a beat, Jen turned and greeted Aldis cordially. Though Jen still didn’t pull his arm away, but kept him anchored, holding Chris in place as if he feared Chris would bolt any second.

It was true and probably a good thing Jen had a good grip on him, because he was internally fighting a battle on whether to run or not that he silently started to count. And maybe it wasn’t as awkward to everyone else - to Aldis, that it was just him, that he was being overly conscious. By the time he reached thirty, he was breathing more evenly and started to relax. Enough that Jen finally let go. Neither took notice of his silence, filling in the blanks Jen and Aldis’ talked about Supernatural and the hate mail Aldis received for killing Sam. Naturally things turned from Supernatural to Leverage. With Jen nearly bouncing on his toes, giddy, he continued smiling like an idiot, going on about Leverage’s success.

He only paused when Danneel eased her way through their small circle. She smiled and hesitantly waited. It took him three seconds before he broke into a smile, and leaned in offering a hug and hello. Like Jen she hugged him tightly, wordlessly telling him that everything was good.

Pulling back he ducked his head, and caught Jen pulling Danneel into his side. Thirty seconds later they were being interrupted as more guests arrived. He had sidestepped out of the way in order to allow more people coming in from behind him.

He didn’t bother looking around at their new digs. Instead instinctively he made his way outside to the patio. Immediately spotting large tubs of ice filled to the rim with various brands of cold beer. Grabbing one he twisted the cap and took a long swallow. His heart slowing, beating easier now that he was actually here. Grabbing a second beer he scanned the yard, and he made his way away toward an area away from the bar that he predicted would be less crowded where he could observe in plain sight.

And he did just that as more people came filling the patio area, and crowding the bar. Though Dave wasn’t here, it didn’t stop him from standing a bit taller. Acknowledging at least to himself that this time he followed through and showed up. Leaning against the wall, hidden in the shadows of shade, he tracked his hosts, his eyes barely leaving Jen and Danneel. Honestly he was happy for them, for Jensen. Could see that Danneel made him happy, that Jensen smiled more, the light that reached his eyes, his soul.

He’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt that part of him still felt empty, alone. He wanted to believe what Dave kept telling him, to give it time that’d it work its way out.

Though that was part of his newest problem… being overly conscious that he kept setting himself up, falling hard - one, for guys, - two, for guys who weren’t interested. For months he had replayed Jensen’s words that, he wasn’t ready. First time he really heard it; he was drunk and drowning in self-pity. Afterwards he didn’t know if Jen had meant he wasn’t ready to be out, or be in a real relationship—it didn’t matter bottom line was Jensen only loved him as a friend. Why it hurt more with Jensen than it did with Dave, he still didn’t know, but those words not being ready, torn at him.

Suddenly Jensen was at his side and nudged his shoulder, clicking their beers together in greeting. His voice low, like he didn’t want to be overheard, he quietly spoke, “I’m really glad you came.”

He wanted to say something, but could only nod.

Jen was standing so close that he heard Jen’s slight gasp, and swallow before Jen seriously asked, “We good?” The question was simple, but spoke volumes beyond the actual words

Chris smiled then turned, looking up. He held Jensen’s gaze, and for once in a long time he didn’t hide anything from Jensen. They stood there for several long moments, and then he nodded before he glanced back toward the mingling crowd. Simply stating the truth. “Yeah.”

From out of the corner of his eye he could see Jensen nodding a small smile spreading across his lips, “Good.”

A loud squeal erupted followed by laughter had both of them turning toward the sound, in time to see Danneel practically draped over Jared, her hands exploring, nearly groping obscenely over his biceps. He only leaned in allowing her better access as he overtly flexed for her. Everyone roared at their antics. Someone yelled out that Jared was stealing Danneel. More laughter and cheers ensued as Jared picked her up cradling as if he was going to carry her away. She in turn settled in and made herself comfortable within his arms, hands continually feeling Jared up, with a breathy leer stated she had no problem with that.

Jensen started to move, his attention focused on Danneel and Jared. Before leaving Chris’ss side his hand reached out and patted Chris’s chest that moved up to his shoulder squeezing, a gesture of camaraderie and friendship before pulling away. “Hey gargantuan hands off my woman…”

Laughter and whips were called out back and forth, Chris just stood there, smiling. Feeling slightly lightheaded from Jen’s easy acceptance. The knots in his chest loosened, and he was breathing easier, for the first time he was actually starting to believe that Dave was right: things were going work themselves out.

Smiling, as he watched the scene before him unfold as Jensen rescued Danneel from Jared. Laughter rang out when they were knocked off balance and the three of them landed on the ground cushioned by Jared. Chris chuckled along with everyone else, and watched as Jensen claimed Danneel in a long open mouth kiss amid cheers.

Ignoring the small ping of his heart, he took a long pull of his beer. It took him a minute before he even realized he had company. Turning he was startled to find it was Chad Murray. Seeing him reminds him that it was Murray that had called Dave. It had been his call that had motivated Dave to fly out more than anyone else.

He wasn’t completely surprised to find Murray here, half of CW was here. That and he knew Chad was still really good friends with Jared. Was how Chris originally met him a few years ago, and though he knew and liked Jared, and would consider Jared a friend. That extension only existed because of Jensen and the amount of time they spent together. But he wouldn’t say that about Murray, they were only mere acquaintances. In fact, he didn’t think Jensen was or ever considered Murray an actual friend, at least not without Jared there.

He wasn’t even sure how long he continued staring before Murray interrupted his thoughts, “So they’re better? You worked things out?” He lifted his beer toward the crowd still surrounding the happy couple.

He started to nod then stopped himself. Wanting to tell Chad to go fuck off because really it was none of his fucking business. But then he remembered for some reason, Chad had made it his business. It was weird, Chad didn’t know him, wasn’t really friends with Jensen, why the hell did he care? It didn’t make sense.

Another cheer went up; that when he glanced over to see what was going on. He lost most of it, but caught the end result of Steve’s arms and legs clenched tightly around Jared’s torso. Each hamming it up, trying to out do the other.

By the time Chris turned back, Chad was gone. He didn’t get a chance to do more then wonder, why? Before Aldis was there pulling him forward and into the frey just as shots were being poured.

FiN~