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“No, like this,” I use my hands and body to manoeuvre him into position, “place your leg in between mine and then bend your knees and turn your hips to the side.”
Six weeks have passed since Mick strode into in my office and happily announced that he and Beth were to be married. Now it seems Beth has decided a tango is the order of the day for the wedding dance, and it’s fallen on me to teach Mick the ropes.
I count off a hurried four beat mark and then begin to move, trying to demonstrate the basic box step of the dance. Mick’s legs are tangling with mine; he’s having trouble keeping up. The subtle shifts and changes in the pressure of his body against mine draw me back to another time, a time when our limbs and bodies entwined in a different sort of dance.
But that was then and this is now.
“Don’t.” The word emanates from my lips before I can stop myself.
Don’t what? Don’t marry her, don’t be with her, be with me instead?
I break away from our dancer’s embrace and hold Mick at arms length. He’s looking at me, expression searching, waiting for me to finish what I started.
“Don’t mess this up buddy, alright?” I laugh and grip his biceps with my hands.
Mick laughs in return and then rolls his eyes, “As if.”
There’s something behind that crooked smile of his though. He knows what I’m thinking, even if neither one of us are game enough to say it out loud.
And then I’m being drawn into his space, his hand gripping the back of my skull, drawing me close. His lips are pressing against mine and I can taste his scent on the back of my tongue. It’s the closest we’ve come to reliving the past in more than a decade.
The moment is over almost as quickly as it began. Mick ends the kiss and we stand in silent reverie, foreheads pressed together as I revel in the nearness of him.
“Josef, don’t.” Mick’s finger presses against my mouth, silencing me as I draw breath to speak.
This time its Mick’s turn to step back and hold me at arms length, his expression earnest.
“Josef if I don’t go through with this I will regret it for the rest of my life.”
I swallow and then nod my agreement.
The smile I offer him then is genuine. I have read the unspoken words reflected in Mick’s eyes.
“My time with Beth is finite, my time with you will be forever.”