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Every night I save you
by Lilithangel
“I froze, when he shot you, I froze.”
“So did I.”
“Very funny. I should have reacted, done something.”
“So should have I. Don’t know what possessed me to play the hero like that.”
“You always lose your head over a pretty woman.”
“I do not.”
“Do you want me to make a list?”
“Shut up.” Owen nudged Ianto sharply and wriggled closer. “Besides, it’s not just pretty women.”
“Well that was one thing I didn’t guess. Although considering Jack’s hiring policies I should have.” Ianto dropped his arm down so he could curl his hand around Owen’s waist.
“Don’t blame yourself,” Owen said, “at least I wasn’t shot by a jealous boyfriend or irate patient.”
“As deaths go it was pretty good.” Ianto said. It had taken him a long time to reach the point of joking about Owen’s death, at least the second one. While Owen had been still walked around there had been too many other things to deal with and he’d pushed all his fears and regrets away.
Ianto kept his eyes closed, willing the dream to continue. He hated it when he could feel his body struggling to wake when all he wanted to do was keep sleeping, keep dreaming.
Owen lay stretched out beside Ianto willing the same. While Ianto slept they could talk, they could kiss and he could make himself believe he could feel it. He knew he shouldn’t encourage Ianto to dream but it was nice to exist for a little while.
“How’s Jack?” Owen said.
“Coping,” Ianto said. “Have you…” he hesitated, “is Tosh with you?”
“Tosh has gone somewhere a lot better than here,” Owen said, “she got her reward and I got mine.” It was a lie they both wanted to believe.
“You might want to see about a refund if you consider me your reward,” Ianto said. He nibbled along Owen’s ear as he said it.
“I dunno,” Owen said, “you’re not so bad.” His hand reached over to caress Ianto’s cock into wakefulness.
“And you’re unbelievably horny,” Ianto said, but he thrust into Owen’s fist and tightened his grip on Owen’s hip.
In the dreamscape he could pretend he knew what Ianto tasted like, what Ianto’s lips felt like. In the dreamscape he was real and nothing else mattered.
Ianto didn’t care that this Owen could admit his feelings where the original couldn’t, that in dreams they could touch in ways they never did in life. It was real and he didn’t want it to end.
“There must be a way of waking him, Jack.” Gwen looked down at the sleeping Ianto with concern.
“He looks so peaceful and happy,” Jack said, “he always kept something back from me, something to protect himself I think. Even when he slept. It’s almost a shame he has to wake up.”
“He’s been asleep for two days now,” Gwen said, “we’ve got fluids into him but he can’t stay like this.”
“I know,” Jack said, “I just wish…” he trailed off and brushed the hair out of Ianto’s face.
Owen pulled back reluctantly from Ianto Jack’s words echoing harshly through the dreamscape. He couldn’t hold Ianto there, couldn’t condemn Ianto to the limbo he existed in.
“You have to wake up now,” Owen said, resting his head against Ianto’s shoulder.
“Why?” Ianto grumbled.
“You’ve been asleep too long, they need you. I’ll still be here; I’m not going anywhere I promise.” Owen’s kiss was barely a brush of air on Ianto’s lips.
“Owen?” Ianto’s voice cracked with lack of use.
“Owen’s dead sweetheart,” Gwen said, grabbing hold of one of his hands.
“You scared us for a while,” Jack said, cupping Ianto’s face in one hand.
Ianto blinked until he could focus properly. “Jack?” he frowned. “Owen was here, in my dream he was here.”
“You’ll be alright,” Gwen said, “you’ve been sick but we’ve been taking care of you.”
“Owen was taking care of me in my dream… but he’s dead isn’t he?” Ianto’s eyes unfocused again.
“I think you’ve slept long enough,” Jack said, running a knuckle along Ianto’s jaw.
“You were hurt sweetheart,” Gwen said, “you were in a coma when we found you.”
Ianto remembered a chase and a fight but after that there was nothing except Owen. He was used to dreaming about Owen, he liked dreaming about Owen. Both the ones where they shared a bed and the ones where he stopped the bullet that took Owen’s life. He knew that Owen was the reason that he was still alive now but he was pretty sure the others wouldn’t understand.
Jack offered him some water and he sipped it gratefully welcoming Jack’s touch as much as he did Owen’s.
Owen couldn’t leave wouldn’t leave, but he knew he didn’t want Ianto to die. He couldn’t be sure what would happen to Ianto but it was more likely to be whatever happened to Tosh rather than what happened to him. He’d only expected to be able to haunt Ianto never for Ianto to share his dreams. When Ianto died Owen would be alone again and he didn’t want to be alone.
“Look after him Jack,” he whispered, “just let me have his dreams.”
Jack’s eyes scanned the room but passed right over Owen curled up next to Ianto.
“It’s alright,” Jack said, “we’ll take care of you Ianto.”
Owen sighed and waited for Ianto to sleep again.
* * * * *
Ianto opened his eyes and saw Owen. “Hi,” he said. It was still his favourite part about dreaming, opening his eyes and seeing Owen.
“Hi,” Owen replied sadness and joy warring for space in his eyes.
Ianto looked around and realised they weren’t in his bedroom as normal and then he saw two bodies lying on the floor.
“Oh,” he said, “am I dead then?”
“Looks like it,” Owen said, “he really does love you, you know,” he added looking at Jack.
“I know,” Ianto said, “but he was always going to lose me. I expected a few more years though,” he frowned.
“We all do,” Owen said.
“How come I’m here with you?” Ianto said. “Not that I mind at all, I just… didn’t expect to.”
“Me neither,” Owen said, “I always expected to lose you too when you died.” He reached out and touched Ianto’s face. “You feel real,” he said closing his eyes with a sigh.
“What happens now?” Ianto said stepping closer to Owen.
“No idea,” Owen said.
“Will they, he be alright?” Ianto said looking at Jack’s body.
“He’s got a long time to come to terms with things,” Owen said, “and even bigger things to face. There will be others to ease his grief later. Sometimes I get glimpses of different, future times,” he added at Ianto’s confused look, “its how I knew to be here.”
“I’m glad,” Ianto said.
They both felt the tugging at the same time and turned to where the far side of the room was disappearing.
“Looks like we get to find out,” Owen said taking Ianto’s hand.
“Looks like,” Ianto agreed.
And they did.
END