Work Text:
There
by kira-nerys
KIRK
There he was.
I never thought I'd see him again.
"Spock," I whispered.
The need poured out of me in that single word.
It stretched toward him, reached for him on its own volition.
I didn't know he was coming.
But as he stood there it was as if my whole being came alive.
I had no idea I was so close to dying.
Without him, there just wasn't any life left in me.
Had I known he was coming I might have been able to prepare.
Now, it was like I poured my soul out for the world to see.
But I doubt knowing he was coming would have made a difference.
All that I wanted.
All that I needed.
All that I desired.
He was there, before me.
And yet he wasn't there.
It took quite some time before I realized that he was there in body, but not in mind.
The link was still gone and he didn't answer my desperate mindcries.
Maybe he could no longer hear them?
I watched his stony face.
Attractive to me like nothing else in this world could be.
I watched him move, distinctly and economically.
He was all I desired.
Beautiful.
I withdrew, apalled at the way I'd reacted.
I struggled to pull myself together and I lifted my head.
I met McCoy's eyes and saw the compassion there.
He knew.
Good God, Bones. What do I do? How do I go on?
I've lost him and I have no one else to blame.
I don't know how I managed, but I got myself through the rest of that day,
This horrible day, chasing after that *thing*, getting closer to Earth by the minute.
I made mistakes, but who can blame me?
Who the hell can blame me?
My sun just rose, only to see my world fall apart again.
~End