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Captive No Longer

Summary:

After months as a captive of war, Ziva takes matters into her own hands. Everyone must learn to live with the consequences of her desperate action. Spoilers for Aliyah, A.U.!

Chapter 1: Part One

Notes:

Author’s Note: This is a one-shot that is split into three parts. It is told from Ziva’s point of view, with spoilers for Aliyah.

The author would like to thank her beta reader, Satan- Wears- Prada, for all her help, you rock!    

Chapter Text

Part One

    Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS; it is the property of its respective creators.  I do, however own the plotline. Enjoy!

     

    What gave you the right to sign me over to die?  I am alone, with no protector to come riding in on a white horse, his shiny and deadly sword in hand.  There will be no such knight coming, not after the venom I spit at him melted his heart of any love for me.

   

    I do not cry. Such emotion is weakness. One of the few things I’ve never been called is weak.  I doubt that now.  My body betrays me, showing the dreaded signs of tiring, telling my captors they are wearing down my defenses.

   

    I have lost count of the days I have been their prisoner.  It is always dark in this cell, and my tied down body no longer fights, my heart is empty and my soul yearns to be free.

  

    My chance comes when my captors are training a new recruit; when he makes the mistake of keeping his weapon in reach.  A small dagger, half the length of my arm, it will do nicely. 

   

    As he turns to leave, I strike, grabbing the dagger, and before he can stop me, I slit my throat.  I have time only to think that those who never been the captives of war, will not understand.  Understand that I have been waiting for someone to relieve me of my role as a chess piece, since the day my mother and sister died.

   

     They had been, respectfully, my protector and my ray of sunshine in a life where I was never enough.  They call to me, telling me to join them.  That they have been waiting for me.  Ari is with them, not the monster he became, but the boy he was, with his mother beside him.  My fallen friends and colleagues are in the back round.  I spot Jenny smiling gently down on me, telling me to let go.

 

    Mother looks serene, more than she ever did in life, the worry lines are gone from her face.  She is finally peaceful, and she wants the same for me.  Tali is radiating so much pure light, I have to fight not to shield my eyes.  Ari is hand in hand with his mother, he looks more peaceful than he ever looked in life.  He is asking me to come away from the pain, to be out of our father’s grip, once and for all.  Hosmiya Haswari is beside him smiling her encouragement, saying the same.  Jenny looks so relaxed, she simply says, her eyes shining with love, “Let go, Ziva.”

   

    My breathing is shallow and sparse, the pain subsiding, and the urge to close my eyes for good is outweighing my inbred instinct to survive.  I smile glad I’m finally on my way.  I close my eyes and am surrounded by white light and warm  welcomes.