Work Text:
World of Noise 5 Sparkle
by Shadith
"Xanpet..."
Spike waited until *his* mortal looked away from the telly. "Why..."
For a moment I'm afraid. We don't avoid the subject of me bleedin' sire, but we don't openly pursue it neither. But I 'ave to know... 'is parents, 'is friends... they fucked 'im over... makin' 'im think 'es worthless... but still why *him*.
When 'e turns those lovely dark eyes on me I want to take it back... anything to erase that darkness in 'is eyes... but its too late...
*****
I remember when you seemed real shiny with the sweat of your voice
Shaky hands super load and teenage mouth
We were all charmed and taken by your talk
"Fuck why couldn't you three get a meal at the Bronze like any decent vampires?"
Xander shifted nervously, watching as the three vamps surrounded him. Shrugging he pulled out his stake, and prayed Buffy would come by. He almost got one on his first swing, but the third slipped behind him knocking him off balance.
Stumbling, he caught himself on one knee watching amazed as the vamp in front of him fled. He grinned, as he saw the dust floating around him.
"Thanks, Buff." he said turning, then froze.
"Harris, thought you'd learned by now."
"You know me. Too brave for my own good," he said, looking for away out, but knowing there wasn't one.
Xander stared up into the smirking face. He'd always know the Hellmouth would get him, he'd just never expected it to be someone he'd tentatively called friend. When Angelus moved closer, he closed his eyes waiting for death.
Silently he whispered his good-byes to Willow, Buffy, and Giles. He prayed they wouldn't have to stake him.
His eyes flew open, when instead of sharp fangs he felt a wet mouth catch his. Struggling uselessly as the vampire tasted him, then slowly he fell into the kiss. He panted heavily, when Angelus finally pulled back.
"Sweet... later, Harris."
Stunned, Xander watched the vampire walk away. It was only the first of many times, it was to happen.
*****
"I didn't know what to do... I was ashamed because I hadn't fought back and... and... I enjoyed it... What was I going to say to them? Hey, Buffy. Sorry your boyfriend's gone psycho... but damn can he kiss."
Spike snickered loudly, before quieting at the glare Xander shot him over the video game. "Anyway aside from the occasional..."
"Tongue hockey," Spike said innocently.
Xander reached over shoving the vampire off the couch. "I decided it was nothing they needed to worry about. So I didn't tell them. Not even when it began to happen more and more often."
Now I shudder when I hear the rhythm of your walk
Now I've got no place to go, I've got no place to go
I've got no one, nowhere, no one.
"Things seemed to just take on a life of their own. It all seemed to fall down on me. He was always just there. Everywhere I turned. I was weak..."
Xander stopped at the low grow from the vampire sprawled on the floor. He shook his head sadly.
"No, I was. He was so sweet at first, I don't know when it changed."
*****
I have given up on the sparkle that I saw in your eyes
I have sinned the sin of wanting more
The belly fire pulls the spirit from the corporate whore
I'm embarrassed by the plaid you wear
He could hear Angelus moving around in the bedroom. "Coming, lover?"
The words are less of a question, more an order. Xander stood slowly, taking one last look in the mirror. The scars were vivid if scattered. They never seemed to fall the same place twice. A fist to the kidneys, a punch to the gut, a backhand when he got smart.
Gods why did I talk back. Angelus hates it when I do that. Maybe it was cause of what Spike said. But Spike doesn't understand. He wasn't always like that. I just upset him. He doesn't mean to hit me, at least not so hard.
I have given up on the sparkle that I saw in you
Yeah, that simple minded sparkle that I thought I saw.
When did I stop believing he hadn't meant to hit me at all? Probably around the same time, I realized that it was my fault he hit me. Somewhere around the seventh or eighth beating. Maybe it was the bruised ribs... the sprained wrist...
There are any number of lovely indigo-hued bruises to chose from. No one ever questioned them. Not Willow, not Giles, not Buffy. No there was no one who seemed to care. Except... the bleached one.
"I don't need you to understand Spike. Just leave me alone, and if I were you I'd hide behind that stupid bleach blonde hair."
If I were you I'd hide behind that stupid bleach blonde hair
Now I've got no place to go, I've got no place to go
I've got no one, nowhere, no one
*****
Spike stared at *his* mortal. His heart's mate, watching the emotions play across his face. He sat silent, waiting for whatever it was that Xander was deciding.
Staring at the blonde watching him as if he were made of glass, Xander slid to the floor. Leaning forward, slowly he pressed trembling lips to the vampire's. Spike groaned at the tentative kiss,
wanting to bury himself in his mate. Xander whimpered softly, as he pressed closer. Worried about pushing him, Spike pulled away.
Yes, I have wondered why you changed
I like it when you were super loud
I have wondered why you changed
I wonder if you're giving in, tell me why you're giving in
Tell me why you're giving in
Xander whined, hands tightening on Spike's shoulders. Still the vampire pulled away. "Xander are you sure?"
Xander nodded eagerly. "I'm sure Spike... do you remember 'If I were you I'd hide behind that stupid bleach blonde hair'."
Spike's eyes widened, as he gaped at the boy.
"I knew then.. I knew even then you cared. I was just to afraid... but not now. Not anymore."
Spike grinned, leaning forward to capture the sweetly smiling mouth. "Well then, pet. Lets see where this takes us."
Spike's lips brushed Xander's, just as the phone rang, startling them both.
"Damn."
end