Work Text:
Don't Ask, Don't Tell
by Voracity.
Deke Reynolds walked into the Silver Star bar, waving his wand around. The silver instrument gleamed in the dull light, adding a shine to his gold ball gown. The gown itself was a beautiful specimen, the sparkles and glitter were placed in delicate patterns; the jewels sewn on glowed with their own light, matching the jewelry he wore around his neck and in his tiara.
"What are you supposed to be?" Benny Ray Riddle asked, snickering at the outfit his friend and team member wore.
"I got appointed to the job of Fairy Godmother. Unfortunately, this is the regulation uniform." He looked down at it. "It's not that bad, but the heels are killer. No support at all." He smiled as Margo Vincent and Matt Shepard walked down from the office upstairs of the bar. "Hey, I got appointed to a new job. I'm going to have to fall back to part-time status. I knew you guys would understand." He waved his wand around a little, creating pretty little lights in the air.
Margo choked, then bit her bottom lip. "Um, Deke, whose idea was this?"
"The last one just needed to get away for a while and I was there. Apparently I'm the first man in forever so the regulation outfit is this." He looked down at it. "It's hard to run in, but it'll do. It's comfortable enough, especially since they took away the corset." Deke winked at her. "At least they left the thong." He waved his wand again and turned, running into Benny Ray. "You wanted something?"
"Yeah, to know what game you're playing at now," Benny Ray said, taking a long look over the dress. "That's some costume you got going, but it's a bit over the top, don't you think?"
Deke gave him a bland look, waving him on. "Get it out of your system now."
"I mean," Benny Ray said, taking a step back, "you're dressed worse than any southern beauty queen I've seen. Even the tacky ones don't go that far with their outfits."
"Benny Ray," Matt warned.
"No, let him say it," Deke said, shaking his head. "Come on, spill the rest."
"You look like some tramp dressed up to impress her rich client's maiden aunt. I've seen whores on the Boulevard that had on better outfits. I mean, the fabric's pretty on you, but the jewels are a bit much, aren't they?"
Deke sighed. "You done?"
"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Thanks."
"Welcome," Deke said, waving his wand. In place of Benny Ray stood one of the ugliest iguanas ever seen. It hissed at him. "You should know better than to diss a man's uniform," he said, bending down to talk to the lizard. "Deal with it."
Margo walked around to look at what used to be Benny Ray. "Don't like frogs?" she asked, stopping the giggles.
"They're very blase, just so fourteenth century." He waved his wand and disappeared. "I'll call when I'm free but I have my cellphone."
***
Matt Shepard woke up screaming, looking around the room in shock. Deke sat up, rubbing down his back. "Nightmare?" the big man asked.
"Yeah, but at least it wasn't a horrible one." He looked at his lover. "Whatever you do, please don't turn Benny Ray into an iguana, he's allergic to them." Matt lay back down, staring at the ceiling. "Though, you looked really pretty in the dress."
"Thanks. What dress?"
Matt looked at him. "The gold one with sparkles. Your Fairy Godmother outfit."
"When did you see me in that?" he asked, brow wrinkling.
Matt groaned and rolled over, hiding his head under the pillows. "I don't want to know, Deke, please, I really don't want to know."
"Don't ask, don't tell," Deke whispered, laying down with the biggest grin on his face.
end