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Feeling the sun on his face made him happy. It had been a long time since he’d relaxed in such a way. The breeze tickled the hair on his legs and the mosquitoes had a home of him but damn did it feel good, no amazing. Africa and Scotland just wasn’t the same as this, wasn’t as great as just sunbathing and lazing about all by his lonesome self.
Not that he was necessarily lonely Xander had to think to himself with a bit of a laugh. He hadn’t been by himself in months since coming back from Africa. And lord knows he almost hadn’t gotten this chance for time away. The Watchers Council and Queen Buffy herself had wanted him to pick up HQ operations ASAP. For once in his life Xander had said out-loud “Fat chance of that happening” and just walked away. He had finally done it, left for himself and for himself alone.
And now here he was avoiding responsibility, avoiding his ex best friends, and attempting to avoid the nightmares, which even haunted him during the day. It had been nearly 5 years since the fall of Sunnydale and he found himself at a loss. He knew where he was now and back then, but where he’d be next had him at a dead end in his thinking. And that’s how he’d found himself in the BFE woods of a little town in West Virginia. Sitting on the dock in his little neck of the woods just letting his spirit and body recharge. It was simply one of the best feelings in the world, just now he was at peace and content with himself and his future.
That’s not to say he hadn’t thought about the future it just wasn’t his top priority right now. He needed this time away and thank god for old and dear friends in odd places. He had known years ago that Jesse’s parents had gone as far away from Sunnydale as possible. And Marlinton, West Virginia was just that kind of place. After leaving the last council session in a saddened rage Xander had called his family away from family just to vent really and ended up with a cabin invite and pond to call his own, at the very least for the summer.
So what that California sun and sand was not in his immediate future. Neither was the dark and gloomy Scotland headquarters that the Watchers called home. He didn’t want weather extremes or temperamental slayers around him. He was content with a pond that had no fish and a dock that had more splinters than slats. For the first time since meeting Buffy and losing Jesse he found himself just laying in the sun and enjoying the moment. No rush, no pain, and no darkness for just a minute or two was worth everything the magical world had to offer him. No witches, spells or happy little elves need apply. Xander had to laugh as he thought that one up. He found himself holding his sides laughing with the sheer joy of the moment as he thought to himself *I’m free, I’m finally free*.