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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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1,855
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1/1
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14
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1,642

And Then the Tears Came - Kerrie

Summary:

A chance flu bug changes everything.  A companion piece to And Then the Tears Came - Blair which should be read after this one.

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Disclaimer:  These guys don’t belong to me.  Anything they say or do is purely a product of my imagination and I get nothing but personal satisfaction from this, so when I’m done I put them back where I found them…darnit.

 

Kerri walked to her car, her long muscular legs moving quickly despite her complete fatigue.  It had been crazy on the surgical ward with so many nurses and technicians out with the ‘flu bug that was going around.  Two double-shifts had completely ruined the three-day weekend with her fiancée.  She got into her car and adjusted her rearview slightly.  Red-rimmed light blue eyes stared back at her as she brushed away a lock of brown hair that had fallen out of her barrette.  Her hair was so straight and thin that she again thought about getting a perm to give it a bit more fullness.  She idly considered it as she drove home.  Her hairdresser had suggested a shorter cut, too, but she wasn’t too sure about that.  Her hair was already shorter than her fiancée’s.  She sighed as she thought about it.  His hair was so beautiful.  She hoped any kids they had would have his hair.  He wore it just passed his shoulders and the corkscrew curls bounced across his shoulders every time he talked or moved.  And the color!  One of her favorite things to do was to try and identify all the shades of mahogany, red and gold that streaked through the curls in the early morning light as he lay sleeping next to her.  She could even see the red/gold highlights in his body hair, something he had in abundance.  Her friends in her weight-training class constantly teased her about her real live “teddy bear”, especially since he stood about two inches shorter than her own five foot nine. 

 

Quietly opening the door to the apartment, she dropped her keys into her purse and set it down on the small table in the hallway.  Standing still for a moment, she listened to see if her roommate was home.  Not hearing anything, she relaxed and moved to the fridge for a cold drink, grateful that she’d have at least a few quiet hours alone.  She really needed to have some time off and had been looking forward to the long weekend with her fiancée.  They were supposed to have gone camping.  He’d even promised to teach her how to fish.  She wasn’t too sure about that but she knew they’d also go hiking which she loved.  The best part, though, was that she would have had Blair all to herself for three whole days.  Instead, she ended up working two of the three days and was now so tired all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep away her one day off but Blair had called and said he wanted to see her on Sunday.  She’d still be exhausted but that probably wouldn’t be a bad thing.  After all, it wasn’t like she really had to get out of bed and besides, there was a Jags game on.

 

The ringing phone finally dragged Kerri out of the near-coma she’d fallen into when she climbed into bed the night before. 

 

“Mmmm, hello?” she asked blearily as she tried to focus on her alarm clock.  It was nearly noon. 

 

“Hi, Kerrie?  It’s Blair.  Did I wake you?”

 

“Yeah, honey, but it’s okay.  I need to get up anyway.  How are you doing?”

 

“Uhh, good, Kerrie.  I’m good.  I was, uhh, hoping I could see you today.  I would really like to talk to you.”

 

Something about Blair’s hesitations raised warning signs in Kerrie’s mind.  “Sure, Blair.  I was hoping you’d come over today.  You said you wanted to talk?” 

 

“Yeah, good.  Okay, how about one?  I can take you to lunch.”

 

“Okay, that sounds fine.  I’ll see you in a bit.  I love you.”

 

“Yeah, me, too.  See you.”  Blair hung up hurriedly leaving Kerrie holding the phone with a frown on her face.  Something was wrong and Kerrie suddenly felt very afraid.

 

An hour later Kerrie was finishing her makeup when she heard the doorbell ring.  Running to the door, she peeked through the viewer and threw open the door and wrapped her arms around her fiancée.  Rubbing her face against his stubbly cheek, she nearly dislodged the bag he carried.  She looked down into the deep blue eyes she loved so much and felt another shard of fear go through her at the serious look.

 

“What’s wrong, Blair?”

 

“Hi, uhh, hey!  I brought some lunch instead of going out.  Is that okay?”  Blair seemed nervous as he walked into the apartment.

 

“Sure, that’s fine.  But, honey, you’ve got me nervous here.  Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

 

Blair dropped his head as he placed the bag on the small dining table and Kerrie suddenly knew. 

 

“You want to break off the engagement, don’t you, Blair?”  His stillness told her she’d hit the nail on the head.  “Why?”  Shock seemed to drain the blood right out of her head and she felt slightly dizzy.

 

Blair turned and she saw the pain in his eyes.  “Kerrie, there’s someone else.”

 

Shock turned to anger.  Someone else? She couldn’t believe this.  “You’ve been cheating on me?!” 

 

“Kerrie, no, well, not until this weekend…”

 

“What in the hell are you talking about?  What happened this weekend?  Who is she?”

 

Misery showed in the blue eyes she’d loved so much.  “Kerrie, please, just sit down for a minute.  I think you’re going to faint…”  Blair moved towards her, his hands held out as though to catch her.

 

“No!  Don’t touch me!”  Kerrie found that she could move and did so.  Crossing the room she stopped and crossed her arms over her chest.  This couldn’t be happening.  Tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks.  She stared at the man she thought she would spend the rest of her live with, ignoring the tears that glimmered in his eyes, too.

 

“Explain this to me, Blair.  What happened?”

 

Blair ran a hand over his head and then back down his face to wipe away the tears.  He took a deep breath.  “There’s something about me that you don’t know…”  He paused, looking down at the carpet.

 

“What?  Are you a murderer?  A rapist…?  Gay…?”  The questions were shot out rapid fire but she stopped when Blair looked back up at her.  Oh, God.  He’s gay.

 

“No.  You can’t be gay!”  I would have known!  Something…somehow I would have suspected…  Her thoughts trailed off in confusion.

 

“Actually, Kerrie, I’m bi.  I’m so sorry I never told you.”

 

“You like men?  Since when?”

 

“I’ve always like men.  Both, actually, I’ve always liked both women and men.”

 

Oh, God.  Kerri turned away.  So where the hell was your gaydar…or should it be bi-dar?  She ran through her memories of their times together trying to pinpoint some moment, some comment…something, damnit!... that should have warned her, but she came up empty.  All she could see were the things about the funny, caring, adorable, furry little man that had stolen her heart with his laughter, his energy, his brilliance. 

 

“So you never really loved me.”  It was a statement.

 

“Oh, Kerri, yes I did, I…do…love you.” 

 

“How can you say that?  You’ve been lying to me all this time!”

 

“No.  I’ve never lied about loving you.  You have to believe that.  You are the woman I had planned to marry.”

 

“So what are you saying?  You’ve realized that you can’t give up men?”

 

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.  I did give up men for you.”  Blair took a step closer but she retreated.   “It’s just that I can’t give up Jim.”

 

Jim?  Your roommate?”  Kerrie was appalled.  “So you’re lying again.  You couldn’t possibly have just cheated this weekend.  You’ve been with him the entire time we’ve been together.  So I was what?  An experiment to see if you could play it straight…?”

 

“No!  No, Kerrie.  I swear nothing has ever happened with Jim before this weekend.”

 

“Well then explain how you suddenly decided you wanted to be with Jim…after asking me to marry you!”

 

“Kerrie, I’ve always had feelings for him.  I’ve always loved him.  I never thought he’d love me back.  I swear, up until this weekend I thought he was straight.”

 

“You can’t expect me to believe that!  How could you not have known he was gay or bi or whatever…?”

 

“You’ve seen Jim!  You know what he looks like, how he acts!  I swear I didn’t know…he still dated women!”  Blair was openly pleading for understanding which Kerrie ignored.  She let him continue.

 

“Friday, when you got the call just before we left saying they needed you at work, well I went home.  Jim was expecting me…us…to be gone all weekend.  He had it off, too, so he…uhhh…invited a friend over.  I, uhh, found them together.”  Blair wrung his hands together, incredulity on his face.  “I couldn’t believe it.  I was tripping all over myself trying to get out of there but Jim stopped me.  He said he needed to know that what I’d seen wouldn’t affect our friendship.  I couldn’t believe it.  There he was, half nude with another guy and he was more concerned about how it was going to affect our relationship.  He wouldn’t let me leave so I just went into my room.  I could hear him arguing with the other guy and then a door slammed.”

 

Blair stopped and looked at Kerrie for a long moment.  “Kerrie, we talked.  He told me that he was afraid to tell me about him because he was afraid I’d move out.  I couldn’t believe it, Ker, he was afraid of the same thing that I was…that finding out how I felt about him would make him want me to leave.”

 

“Then you told him about you, that you were…are…bi.”

 

“Yes.” 

 

God, Blair looked so sad and Kerrie was…devastated.   A chance ‘flu bug and her world fell apart.  Just like that.

 

“I’m so sorry, Kerrie.  I never thought this would happen.  I thought I’d never have Jim like that and then I met you and you were so wonderful I did fall in love with you.  And I still love you…but I love him, too.”

 

But you’re breaking up with me.  “No…you love him more.”  Kerrie saw the truth of that statement reflected in Blair’s eyes and felt herself go numb.  Without thought she pulled the ring from her finger and held it out, dropping it when Blair’s hand came close to hers.  She saw it bounce once on the carpet and come to rest near Blair’s hiking boot.

 

“Get out.  Don’t try to call or contact me in any way.”  She watched as the tears rolled down stubbled cheeks at Blair’s nod and felt nothing.  Watching Blair bend to pick up the ring she wondered if she would ever feel anything again.

 

She heard the door close quietly as Blair let himself out.  Kerrie didn’t know how long she stood there, rooted to the one spot in the living room.  With a supreme effort of will she moved to her room and kicked off her shoes.  Crawling under the covers of her bed she figured no one would question her when she called in sick for the next few days.  And then the tears came.