Work Text:
Winner Takes All
by Pirate Turner
"Scott, we have a problem."
Cyclops rose an eyebrow at the serious tone of his team mate's voice. He had been expecting something all day, but for one of his rare changes, Bobby sounded completely serious. "We always have a problem, Bobby," the fearless leader replied carefully. "What is it this time?"
"Did you see Hank on Jeopardy?"
"No," Scott lamented, "and I didn't have time to set it to tivo either. There was an emergency . . . "
"That's what I thought," Bobby replied, cutting him off. "I knew you guys would have at least phoned if you'd seen it." He sniffled.
"What happened?" Cyclops asked. The sadness that was creeping into Bobby's voice had set him on full alert and caused him to completely forget his wariness.
"Well, Hank . . . He . . . He messed up, Cyke . . . And you know . . . You know how he was so looking forward to being on the game and all . . . showing the world that mutants can be super intelligent and all that . . . Showing Alex Trebec that he was an even bigger know-it-all than him and everything . . . "
"Was?" The color was slowly draining from Cyclops' face, and his hand gripped the phone with a tightness that came from pure fear. He had been reluctant to allow Hank to go on Jeopardy, but Professor Xavier had thought it a good, peaceful way to show the world that mutants could be nice, smart people. "What happened?" he demanded, swallowing the panic that was steadily rising in him.
"Hank . . . He answered the question . . . He had it right, but . . . he . . . " The sound of Bobby choking back a sob came over the line. "He . . . Oh, Scott, he forgot to say it as a question!"
Sudden relief caused Scott's heart to skip a beat, but the leader in him would not have his fears so easily quieted. "Is that all, Bobby?"
There was a moment of silence, and then Bobby answered in a voice that sounded close to a whimper, "No."
Dread immediately grasped Cyclops' heart again. "What else?" he managed to ask.
"Well, when they told Hank he was wrong, he . . . he had a fit . . . "
"So he lost his cool."
"More than that . . . Much more than that. He exploded."
"On national television, which isn't a good thing but it isn't . . . "
"He exploded, Scott. He turned red and exploded."
"What?"
"His fur . . . His blue fur turned red. He was, like, the angriest I've ever seen him, and his fur turned red and he exploded." Bobby paused for dramatic effect, then concluded dismally, "There were bits of Hank all over the place, across the stage, on the ceiling, in Alex's hair . . . "
Cyclops stopped. His mind froze; his tongue stilled. His eyes gazed through Jean in amazement as Bobby's words slowly sank in. Bobby wouldn't joke about Hank like this. He wouldn't! Yet . . . How was he keeping his composure? Why wasn't he crying more passionately? As much as he might not like it, Cyclops knew very well what those two particular ones of his friends did behind closed doors. Slowly, he tried to speak. "Bobby, I . . . That is, what . . . ? How in . . . . ?"
Then came the cheeky tone from the young man he was so familiar with, the tone that had embarrassed and angered him countless times over the years. "Actually, fearless leader, Hank did explode later but not on stage." Scott could easily picture Bobby's huge grin, despite the distance that separated them, and in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to board the Blackbird, fly out to California, and personally wipe that smirk off of his face permanently.
As Scott imagined all the things he would have liked to have done to Bobby in that moment, Bobby rattled on, "April Fool's! Any way, Cyke, I just wanted to call to let you know that Hank won the biggie -- like any of us didn't see that coming a mile away! I mean, hello! Hank could smart the breeches off of Albert Einstein! -- and we're going ahead and taking a vacation. Actually, not just a vacation . . . " Scott could hear Bobby's grin growing bigger and bigger with every word. "We're going on our honeymoon! Bye, fearless leader!"
The phone went dead in Cyclops' hand. He stared at it for a long moment before screaming. The shrill pitch of his mouth carried throughout the X-Mansion, but Jean's calm, telepathic voice stopped those who would have ran to his defense. {{{It's okay, guys. Scott's just having another Drama King fit, and oh, by the way, Hank and Bobby are married.}}}
Jean was practically glowing as she walked across the kitchen to Scott. "Honey, you always said you wanted our team mates, our friends, to be happy."
"Yeah, but not that happy! How am I gonna tell the Professor? How are we going to explain it to the government?"
Jean didn't bother to hide her sigh even as she slid her arms around her husband's neck. "Charles already knows, and he's as happy for them as I am. As for as the government, they already hate us, and they won't hate us any more for two of our family being gay than they do for all of us being mutants. They hate those of us who are different from them just because we are different and they fear our differences, just as blacks and whites used to hate each other and just as you now are having trouble coming to terms with our friends' wedding. You're a bigger man than that, Scott. They're your friends; just be happy that they're happy."
"And I know it's going to take you a while to get to that point," she concluded, pressing her body close to his, "so why don't you just forget about them right now and concentrate on us?" She started to lean up to kiss him, but Scott's cry of rage as he broke apart from her destroyed that futile attempt.
"BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY GOT MARRIED!" Cyclops screeched, his voice reaching the furthest ends of the school's grounds. He raised teary eyes heavenward, as though somehow looking up would help his voice reach to California. "WHAT ABOUT ME?!"
The End