Chapter Text
Visiting Relatives: Lots-of-Greats Granma Gaia
By Scribe
The House of Love
"Imp," said Bliss. "Put on your dress."
"Don't wanna."
"You gotta. You know the daddies don't let you run around bare outside the house."
"Mommy-daddy don't care."
"That's cause he's God of Mischief, and if someone sees your bottom and is surprised into falling down it tickles him like it does you when Hera sees Zeus staring at one of the Muses."
Impetua giggled. "I like that!"
"I know, but you still gotta put on your dress. Grandma Dite said you gotta get in the habit, so that when your boobs grow you'll remember to do it."
Imp made a face. "Don't want boobs. Wanna be an Amazon."
Bliss rolled his eyes. "Amazons have boobs."
"Really?"
"Yeah. It's just not really smart to notice them. Iolaus taught me that. Anyway, we're going somewhere, so you gotta be dressed."
"Poop." Imp found her dress (she'd stuffed it under her bed) and slipped into it, then went to Bliss. "Tie me."
"Okay. Turn around and fold your wings tight, so I can see what I'm doing."
Imp turned her back to him, folding her silvery-green wings tight against her plump little body. "Make a bow, Bliss. Make a big, pretty one."
Bliss gathered the ends of the bodice and brought them up behind her neck, forming the halter top of the dress. "You pick your times to be girlie." He carefully tied a floppy bow. "What do you say?"
"Can I be a harpy and not have boobs?"
Bliss rolled his eyes. "No. They have the upper bodies of women, so boobs are included. I meant..."
Imp turned and planted her hands on where her hips would some day be. "I KNOW. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Where we going?"
"We're going to visit Gaia."
"Is she our grandma, like Dite?"
"Sort of, but farther back."
"Huh?"
"Well," Bliss started ticking off on his fingers. "Dite is Daddy Cupid's mom, so she's our grandma. Hera is Dite's mom, so she's our GREAT grandma..."
Imp wrinkled her nose again. "Great?"
Bliss smiled. "I don't think it means, like, really good. Anyway, Hera's Mom is Rhea, who would be our great-great grandma, and Gaia is HER mom, so that would make her our great-great-GREAT grandma. I think. Any way, we're going to visit her. She hasn't seen you since you were a teeny baby."
"Can I bring Priss?"
"Better not. Gaia has all kinds of flowerbeds and stuff, and you know how Priss is with them--she uses them for potties, then eats the plants."
"Okay. Does Gaia have boobs?"
Bliss shook his head. "You're boob crazy." Imp smiled angelically. "Oh, well. Daddy Strife says that a girl is only obsessed with one set of boobs--her own--but guys are obsessed with EVERY set of boobs in the world."
The House of War
"Cord, what are you doing? Aren't your ready yet?"
"Almost, Daddy. I just changing my tunic."
Joxer peeked into his son's room. "What on earth for? Did you get some of your breakfast on it?"
"No. I just want to put on a nicer one."
"Oh?" Joxer came in and sat down on Accord's bed. "Which one?" Accord showed him the rich maroon and black robe. "But Cord, those are your formal robes. You're only supposed to wear those on very special occasions."
"I know."
He stroked his son's dark, sleek hair. "Grandma Gaia will be flattered, but she doesn't stand on ceremony." Accord gave him a slightly blank look, then Joxer was surprised to see him blush. *Oh, ho. I think I see where this is going.* "Imp probably isn't going to wear anything fancy." The blank look was back. *Or maybe I DON'T see where this is going. Unless...* "And Bliss will probably just wear some of his plain pants. Kids almost always get dirty at Gaia's."
"Oh. I better put on my plain tunic, then."
As Accord carried his dress clothes back to the chest, Joxer thought, *Of course he hero-worships Bliss. It's only natural.* Joxer watched as his child managed to get himself tangled in his clothes, then called for his father to help get his head free. As Joxer gently disentangled him, he thought, *After all, Bliss is older, and he's going to have all sorts of people throwing themselves at him by the time he hits puberty. It isn't all that likely he'll pay much attention to my sweet little klutz.* Accord gave him a thank you hug, and Joxer reflected, *But I could be wrong.* He found himself smiling. *After all, Bliss' grandfather fell in love with a klutz.*
On Earth
"I just don't know about this."
"Ah, c'mon, Herc. You can't keep Polly wrapped in silk for the rest of her life," said Iolaus reasonably. Hercules was holding their daughter, Polytimos, protectively on his knee, and Iolaus squatted down to put his face on level with hers. "Can he, sugar-booger?"
"You sound like Strife when you do that."
"Hey, a lot of people could learn parenting skills from Strife, and you know it, even if you don't want to admit it. Any way, you take Polly to visit your mother and your brother all the time. You need to give the other side of the family more time. She's part of that, too--whether you want to admit it or not." Hercules grimaced. "Don't make me play the paternal rights card, Herc."
"Oh, all right."
"Good. Anyway, it isn't as if she's been invited to an orgy with Bacchus. This is Gaia we're talking about here--Mother Nature herself. There aren't too many others you can point to who can out-do Gaia when it comes to nurturing."
"I know." Hercules smiled almost reluctantly. "And at least Polly probably won't come back with a sugar-high, like she did when we took her to visit Hestia."
Iolaus laughed. "She polished off that entire plate of honey cookies."
Hercules rubbed Polly's sandy blonde curls. "She takes after you in more than just looks. I could have done without Hestia asking if we were sure she wasn't Strife's kid, though."
"She was teasing you, Herc. If you'd just mellow out a little, they wouldn't aim for the buttons so much."
"Am I really that easy?"
"The only way you could be an easier target would be if you painted a bull's eye on your back. So, she's going?"
"We're ALL going. I'm darn sure not just sending her along."
"Suits me." Iolaus rubbed his nose against his daughter's snub one. "You'll like it there, babydoll. Gaia has all kinds of little animals."
Polly looked interested. "Roasted?"
Hercules and Iolaus burst out laughing, and Iolaus chuckled, "Yeah, she's my kid, all right."
To be continued...