Work Text:
Jim Kirk with a headache & a hard-on in a lift with Sarek & a Vulcan female
byIslaofhope
Islaofhope@aol.com
Sarek was waiting for me when I walked out of the council chambers. Apparently, he'd been keeping an eye on me from the gallery because he said, "Your performance was satisfactory, James."
Satisfactory? That's a high compliment for a Vulcan. Heck, I hadn't done a thing but keep my mouth shut and nod when someone spoke to me. Of course, that could be exactly what he's talking about. He probably was afraid that I would shoot my mouth off and embarrass the House of Surak on my first day after taking over his seat.
It's a good thing the council only meets for a few days every six months. Right now, I can't wait to hop a shuttle back to Earth. After today, I'm looking forward to facing Nogura and Komack!
I was developing the mother of all headaches.
Where did I get the dumb idea that my Vulcan language skills were perfectly adequate, and I didn't need a Universal Translator? I've had a transdermal translator implanted since my science officer conducted the first beta test of it, but it wasn't advanced enough to render my Standard comprehensible to a roomful of Vulcans. Of courses, they probably all understand Standard perfectly, but I'm sure that it would be a high breach of etiquette to speak Standard at one of these things.
Well, my Vulcan is perfectly adequate for pillow talk with a certain tall, dark, handsome Vulcan and for an occasional diplomatic function. But it's not good enough for the Vulcan version of a pitched battle about a trade embargo with the Orions. I doubt that anyone in that room knew more about Orions than James T. Kirk, but *he* couldn't think of how to say "slave trade" in Vulcan. Heck, Vulcan probably doesn't have a word for slave. I should ask Sarek.
I realize that Sarek is speaking to me again. "Are you unwell?"
Well, I'm not ready to admit any weaknesses to my almost brand new father-in-law. Yeah, I know it's a trait that got me in trouble the first time I was on Vulcan, but that all turned out okay, didn't it? After all, I wouldn't be here now if it hadn't. Anyway, Sarek is waiting for an answer. "Just a headache, Ambassador. I'll be fine."
"I believe we agreed that you would call me 'Father,'" he responds with a stony look. I can't decide whether I've offended him or if he's just teasing me.
Does the guy even know how to tease? Well, Spock said that his father was teasing when he almost convinced me to have that surgery on my hands so that I could do a proper Vulcan hand salute. Today, I wish I would've gone through with it. I'm convinced they all think that I'm some kind of Terran snob because my general practice is to bow slightly in response to Vulcan hand salutes. Spock said that he finds it 'enchanting' that I can't hold my fingers in the salute. I'll enchant him. Right up side of his head!
Anyway, Sarek is waiting for an answer. "Yes, Father. I'm fine." I don't know why I got hauled over the coals for calling him 'Ambassador.' Spock calls him that all the time.
"Then you have no objection to attending a political dinner this evening." It's not a question. It's an order.
I'd been looking forward to a pleasant evening with Amanda. Some dinner, some conversation in Standard, maybe a little warm approval after spending all day being looked at like a creature from another planet. Heck, I am a creature from another planet.
Darn this headache! As I'm following Sarek across the street to the tallest building in the downtown capitol complex, I'm thinking that I could use some long, slender, hot fingers rubbing my temples right now. Heck, he could rub me just about anywhere right now and it would make me feel 100% better.
Good thing my new Starfleet admiral's uniform is cut a lot longer than my old uniform. I'm hard right now just thinking about Spock.
It occurs to me that I was out of my mind when I agreed to marry him. If we were still 'living in sin,' I'd be on the Enterprise in my quarters, and he'd be right next door instead of me being here on Vulcan and him being a few hundred parsecs away on the Outer Rim Science Station. Actually, we'd be in either my quarters or his, and I'd be pulling off his uniform.
I realize suddenly that headaches make me horny. Well, they have ever since Spock first demonstrated his unique technique for treating them. Sure beats the heck out of McCoy's pills, which used to get me all strung out and leave me with dry mouth the next morning. Of course, with Spock on the other side of the galaxy, I was probably stuck taking the pills.
Unless, he could treat me long distance.
Well, it wasn't quite the same as having him in my bed, but our little sessions of mental 'phone sex' sure beat the old-fashioned 'Rosie Palm' that I used to rely on before I figured out that my first officer wanted me as much as I wanted him. Heck, who would've thought that a nice roll in the sand would land me here? On Vulcan, with a headache, on the way to dinner with Spock's father and a battery of other Vulcans. Damn that sneaky ex-first officer of mine!
Apparently, Sarek likes me just fine when I keep my mouth shut, because he's continuing to 'cheerfully' lecture me on Vulcan politics even though I'm not saying a word. I follow him into a lift.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a Vulcan woman already in the lift. And just like on Earth, the three of us pretend not to notice each other in the lift. Well, Sarek and I were pretending, but the woman wasn't. In fact, she was giving me the real 'up and down,' and I can't help thinking, 'Yeah, you've still got it, James T!'
Also, I'm thinking that she looks pretty good herself. A really nice body, and a pretty face in spite of her haughty look. Yeah, it's always fun to wipe that haughty look off a beautiful woman's face. Come to think of it, Spock has a bit of that haughty look about him, and I sort of like making his disappear, too. But this woman really looked like she could use it. And she looking at me like she's just about ready…
What the heck am I thinking? I'm standing here next to my father-in-law, with hard-on from thinking about Spock, and suddenly I'm thinking about this strange woman. Well, I'm married, but I'm not dead!
Besides, Spock is secure enough that he doesn't mind if I look around or even if I flirt a little. But he'd probably break every bone in my body if I actually did anything about it. And he's strong enough to do it, too. And smart enough that he could tell me the names of each of the bones while he was doing it.
You are perverted, James T! 'Cause I'm thinking how nice it would be to have his hands all over me, reminding me just how strong he is. Okay, I probably wouldn't actually like the part where he was breaking my bones. I'm not quite that perverted!
I realize that I'm grinning to myself, and the woman catches me. She raises an eyebrow at me, and I'm noticing again that she's definitely good-looking. And I've developed a real appreciation for a pair of nicely pointed ears.
Stop it, Jim. How can you go from having dirty thoughts about your spouse to admiring this strange woman? The weird part is that the more I keep sneaking glances at her, the more I start thinking that she's looking familiar. And she's looking like maybe she recognizes me, too. Well, that's it. I'm not going to look at her anymore.
Darn, this lift is slow! How tall is this building? And why don't Vulcans have modern elevator technology? Heck, I could get from one end of the Enterprise to the other faster than this. And I wouldn't have to be looking at this Vulcan woman while I do it. I'd be looking at Spock - and trying to figure out how to make that lift go faster.
"This is certainly a slow elevator," I say to Sarek in the sudden silence because he's finally stopped talking. I don't know if he figured out I wasn't listening or what.
"Vulcans believe that the journey is as important as the destination," the Ambassador responds somewhat primly.
And then I realize that it's a glass elevator, and I'm supposed to be enjoying the view of the city. About then I realize that I've got a touch of that old fear of heights that I conquered way back when I was at the Academy. Well, it's probably just the headache.
Yeah, I'm making points left and right. I couldn't wait to get my hands on Spock for getting me into this! Actually, if the elevator door opened and he was standing there, I'd probably start out by kissing the hell out of him. Yeah, right in front of his father and this darn woman.
Then I'd want to find a nice quiet place, and run my hands all over his skinny, sexy body, and after we'd made love two or three times, and he's just starting to fall asleep with that smug look on his face, I'd nail him with a pillow. And I'd tell him exactly what I thought of his bright idea about me taking over his father's seat on the Vulcan Council.
House of Surak! Schmurak!
Finally, we reach the top of the building, and the door is about to open. Suddenly, I recognize the woman. What took me so long? Must be the headache.
Anyway, it's that bitch T'Pring. Who would've thought that I would run into her here? Now? I shouldn't dislike her as much as I do. After all, if she hadn't 'divorced' Spock, they'd be married now, and I'd still be dating 'Rosie Palm.'
She recognizes me at the same moment that I recognize her. She looks daggers at me. I look daggers back. And I wonder if it would be completely undignified for a Starfleet Admiral to get into a catfight with his bondmate's ex. But I remind myself that she was the loser in that little transaction. After all, the ears on that Stonn reminded me of open doors on an Alderan taxi cab.
When I walk past her, I don't intend to say anything, but she hisses at me, "I thought you were dead."
I don't look, but I hiss back, "Not only am I not dead, but I have his name, I have his property, and I don't have to sleep with Stonn!" I don't even look to see her reaction.
Sarek gives me an odd look. "James, did you know that woman?"
I glance at him in surprise. After all, he'd been the one that had bonded them in the first place. Of course, they'd both been seven years old at the time. Well, if he didn't recognize her, neither did I.
"No, Father," I reply.
He leads me towards a table where a familiar male Vulcan is standing to greet us. "I believe that you will be interested to meet Stonn, my new assistant," the Ambassador says.
Well, it should be an interesting evening. I can't wait to *tell* Spock about if tonight.
-finis-