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It was an older house that had been furnished with antiques from around the world. So the responding LVPD officers and CSIs weren’t sure if the murder committed there was simply a homicide or somehow tied into a robbery.
Nick Stokes followed his boss – and partner for the night – up the stairs and down the hall towards the master suite. “I feel like I’m in a museum, not a private home,” he commented looking around.
“I’ve heard there are pieces here that should be in a museum,” Gil Grissom replied. “We’ll have to photo and inventory everything before we leave. I’ve already called and asked for Greg and Warrick to join us.”
“That’ll make things go faster,” Nick grinned. “How do we know which rooms we’ll have to process?”
“All of them, Nicky my boy,” Gil said. “To be sure we don’t miss anything.”
Nick bit back a sigh and followed Gil into the primary room. The first thing he saw was Jim Brass standing next to a pool of blood looking confused.
“Jim, where’s our victim?” Gil asked looking around the master suite.
“I’m not sure,” Brass replied. “He was here a minute ago.”
“Are you telling me our homicide victim decided to get up and go for a walk?” Gil asked.
“Maybe he’s in here,” Nick commented. He put his kit down, walked over to a large wardrobe and opened it.
Gil and Brass watched in disbelief as Nick was swallowed by and buried under a tidal wave of what appeared to be dirty clothes. When the final sock fluttered down onto the top of the pile Brass glanced at Gil. “You’d think someone this rich would have someone to do the laundry for them,” he said dryly.
“Maybe he just kept buying new things,” Gil said. He walked over and squatted down at the edge of the pile of clothes that was taller than him. “Are you okay, Nicky?”
“Ow,” came the rather muffled reply.
“Can you move at all?”
“No.”
“Okay, hang on, we’ll have you out in a second,” Gil said trying not to laugh. “Jim, can you give me a hand, please? We need to unbury Nick without compromising the crime scene. Uh, Jim, what are you doing?”
Brass pulled his head back out of the wardrobe. “Just checking,” he said with a grin. “Why not just chuck this stuff back in here?”
“Guys, can’t breathe,” Nick said.
“We’re coming, Nick,” Gil said. He started moving what clothing he could reach, pushing it back towards the wardrobe. Brass joined him and they were able to shift enough weight that Nick was finally able to push his way out and flop on the floor.
Gil knelt down next to him. “Are you okay, Nicky?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Nick gasped. “Man, what happened?”
“It should’ve been physically impossible, but the entire wardrobe was full of dirty clothes,” Gil replied. “Now, would you mind telling me why you thought our victim was in the wardrobe in the first place?”
“It seemed logical at the time,” Nick shrugged.
Gil smiled. “You have a very strange since of logic, Nick. Come on, let’s get to work. Now we really are going to have to search the entire house.”
********************
When Greg and Warrick arrived the victim’s body still hadn’t been found. Gil told them to start processing the spare bedrooms, but to work together just in case.
“Just in case of what?” Greg asked as they walked into the spare room. “Wow, this place is bigger than my whole apartment.”
“You know how Gris is,” Warrick replied. “Hey, you’re closer, check that wardrobe will you?”
“Sure.” Greg pulled on a pair of gloves and started to open the doors.
“Hey guys,” Nick said sticking his head in the door, “be careful opening any wardrobes.”
“Why?” Warrick asked as Greg finished pulling open the doors. Warrick and Nick watched in amazed horror was a wave of dirty clothes spilled out and buried Greg.
“That’s why,” Nick sighed. “Hey, Gil, you’re not going to believe this.”
Gil looked in and shook his head. “Two for two. I don’t suppose he’s in there, is he, Nicky?”
Nick waded through the clothes and glanced in. “Nope, just some old shoes. I gotta admit that I’m curious about this, Gris.”
“Me too, but dig Greg out first, will you? I do not want to have to explain to anyone that one of my CSIs was killed by a landslide of dirty laundry.”
“Right,” Nick grinned. “Come on, Rick, give me a hand with this.”
“How the hell did our vic manage that?” Warrick asked as he and Nick started shoving clothes back into the wardrobe.
“We don’t know,” Nick replied. “Hey there, Greggo, you okay?”
“Wish I’d had my surfboard,” Greg coughed.
“Is that why Gris wanted us working in pairs?” Warrick asked.
“Yep, I’ve already been buried once tonight,” Nick sighed. “Oh well, onto the next room. Be careful you two.”
********************
The first thing Nick saw when he joined Gil in the third bedroom was another large wardrobe. “Oh no,” he said backing away. “Not again. No way in hell, once was enough.”
“Oh come on, Nicky, how much dirty laundry could one man have?” Gil asked raising an eyebrow.
“Then you open it,” Nick insisted. “I’m not getting buried again.”
Gil made sure they were alone and pressed up behind Nick, wrapping an arm around his waist. “I’ll suck you completely dry,” he whispered rocking his hips a little. “As often as you want for the next week.”
“That’s low, Gil,” Nick moaned. “Even at work?”
“If that’s what you want, Nicky.”
“I’m going to regret this,” Nick muttered. He pulled away from Gil and walked over to the wardrobe. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and pulled the door open.
Gil sighed and covered his eyes as his lover was bombarded by plushy slippers. At first glance, once the noise had stopped, he could see cats, dogs, cows, monkeys, and what looked like a monster from the Muppet Show. “Are you okay, Nicky?”
“I’m really starting to hate this house,” Nick said. He picked up a gray cat slipper and stared at it. “What kind of nut was this guy, anyway?”
“Apparently one who never used anything more than once,” Gil replied, his lips twitching.
“Gil, if he has a wardrobe in every room then we need to regroup with Greg and Warrick so they don’t get hurt,” Nick said. “Who knows what else could fall on us.”
“You have a point, Nicky,” Gil agreed. He glanced in the wardrobe. “Just in case.”
Nick rubbed his elbow. “I’m really starting to doubt he’s in one of these things. There’s no spare room.”
“We still have to be sure,” Gil said. “Come on, we need to find the others.”
********************
“I don’t believe it,” Greg exclaimed when they walked into the fourth bedroom. “How many of these things does he have anyway?”
“More than two,” Warrick replied with a grin. “Well, go on Greggo, open it.”
“Why me?”
“Because I told you to,” Warrick said. “Look, what could he have in there?”
“I don’t know and I don’t want to find out,” Greg said folding his arms over his chest. “You open it if you’re so anxious to see what’s in there.”
“All right, you little chicken, I will.” Warrick went over and pulled the doors open.
Gil, Nick and Jim arrived just in time to see Warrick vanish under a pile of towels. “Jim, this is getting ridiculous,” Gil commented as Nick and Greg started to dig Warrick out. “I think we need to open these things from a distance with rope.”
“It’ll cut down on the slapstick,” Jim agreed. “Although you have to admit there’s a certain humor in watching these guys get buried.”
“Ha, ha,” Nick commented dryly. “If you enjoy it that much, you open the next one.”
“Sorry, can’t interfere with your investigation,” Jim said with a smile. “I’ll go find you guys some rope and some more man power so we’re not here until next week.”
“I’ll call Catherine and Sara,” Gil added. “We really need to find the victim’s body before any evidence on the body is compromised.”
“What do we do until then?” Greg asked.
“Process the rooms, but leave the wardrobes alone,” Gil said. “And stay with your partner. Who knows what else is hiding in this place.”
Nick and Greg looked at each other. “I really wish you hadn’t said that, Gris,” Nick said.
********************
“Oh, that feels good,” Nick moaned as he sank into the hot water. Gil had prepared him a bath to make sure he was okay after the fall he’d had.
“At least we finally found the victim,” Gil said.
“Yeah, by me falling on him. What kind of nut has a trap door in his bedroom anyway?” Nick asked. He closed his eyes and settled back with a sigh.
“It’s just a shame Jim found the trigger while you were standing on the contraption,” Gil replied.
Nick cracked open an eye. “We should’ve filmed our investigation,” he said. “We could’ve made money from Ripley’s or something. And if I never see another wardrobe again, it’ll be too soon.”