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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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946
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1/1
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6
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930

Relaxing In the Office

Summary:

Mulder and Scully discuss dogs.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:


Relaxing In the Office
by Valdron

 

Scully inhaled deeply and held it down in her lungs. She passed the hand rolled cigarette over to Mulder.

"Thanks," he said, and took a drag.

Relaxing in the basement of the FBI, Scully stared at Mulder's autographed poster of an alien grey, and slowly exhaled.

The only sound was the hyper-efficient FBI air circulation fans, sucking up and eliminating the smoke.

"Did you ever notice," Mulder said, his voice high pitched and nasal from holding the smoke in his lungs. His voice trailed off.

"What?" Scully said, after a moment's wait. Mulder handed the cigarette over to her. She put it to her lips.

"Have you ever noticed that dog spelled backward is God?" Mulder asked.

"Sure," she said, "and so has every other fifth grader." She inhaled and held her breath.

"No Scully," Mulder said earnestly, "I think it's more than that."

She passed the cigarette back to him.

"Thanks. The ancient Egyptians worshipped the star Sirius, also known as the dog star."

"The Sumerians also believed that they were visited by inhabitants of the dog star."

The burning tip of the cigarette glowed brightly as Mulder sucked on it. He stared dreamily off into the distance.

"In our modern world, there is a tribe which may be descendants of advanced prehistoric cultures like the Egyptians or Sumerians."

Scully held out her hand and made motions.

"Sorry," Mulder said, handing it back.

"They worship the Dog star too," he continued, "and have advanced astronomical knowledge, including the fact that sirius is a double star, and the period of its orbit. Do you know what they're called?"

"The marmadukes?" She giggled uncontrollably. Mulder ignored her.

"The Dogon people, Scully," Mulder announced triumphantly, "that's Dog-on."

"Uh huh," she said, breathily, inhaling. "Cat worshippers?"

She giggled a little more.

"There's more," Mulder said, "the egyptians also worshipped Anubis. A dog headed god, as the arbiter of life and death, holder of higher knowledge.

"The american indians worshipped a trickster god, the Coyote. A wild dog."

Scully blew out air and glanced over at Mulder. He wasn't paying attention.

"Over and over again, canines show up as pivotal fixtures in folklore and mythology."

She expelled smoke slowly.

"And popular culture," Scully deadpanned. "Don't forget Lassie and Rin Tin Tin. They had to be aliens. They were way too smart to be from this planet."

She took another long drag.

"No," Mulder said, momentarily serious. "I think I may be on to something Scully.

"Think about it: Conventional science tells us that dogs have been with us for a long time. The domestication of dogs predates human civilisation by at least thirty thousand years. It predates agriculture, metallurgy, just about everything.

"So?"

"So? So maybe they're behind it all."

"What?" Scully's expression was incredulous.

"Intelligence doesn't have to develop the same way. Maybe instead of evolving hands, they evolved mind control powers. Perhaps not enough to control individuals, but enough to manipulate groups and cultures.

"Suppose we've built our entire civilisation at their prompting.

"Maybe they're even breeding and manipulating us the way we think we're doing with them. Maybe the so called aliens are just a mutated breed that they use for special purposes.

"It's dogs Scully!" Mulder spoke enthusiastically. "They're controlling the world!"

Scully held the little tail end of the cigarette delicately between her fingers, raising it up to the light and staring at it as the burning end winked out.

"This is good stuff," Scully said diplomatically.

"Grown in crop circles," Mulder said proudly, "for that extra kick."

"I'm still amazed we can do this at all," Scully whispered. "I guess nobody ever comes down here."

"It isn't just that, Scully," Mulder said grandly, "we've released serial killers from custody, and killed them, invaded Russia, Canada and Hong Kong. Trespassed on top secret government projects.... Put horoscope readings on the expense account...

"If any other agent did half the things we've done... they'd not only be cashiered out of the FBI... they'd be in prison. We're invincible, Scully! Nobody can touch us! Nobody wants to!"

"We have cooties," she commented. He ignored her.

"To work in the X files, Scully," Mulder said grandly, is to be like a God in the FBI."

"Except for the respect thing," Scully pointed out.

"So we don't get respect," Mulder said. "Who needs it."

"Or money?"

"Or money?"

"Or a better office not in the basement?"

"There's nothing wrong with a basement office!"

"It's tiny."

"Cozy."

"I don't have a desk!"

"Well..."

"Sounds more like dogs of the FBI. Beneath everyone's notice."

"Ah hah!" Mulder said triumphantly.

"Oh right," she said, "you're latest theory. Dogs from outer space."

"Seriously Scully," Mulder asked, "what do you think?"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously?"

"I think you're out of your fucking mind, Mulder. I mean, you've come up with crackpot theories before, but this one really takes the cake."

Mulder considered that for a few minutes.

"Really?" he asked. "What do you really think?"

Scully got to her feet. "That's it for me, Mulder, I'm going home."

Scully walked down the hall and up the elevator, out into the parkade. She drove back to her home.

Scully got back to her apartment and dropped her coat on the couch. Tiredly, she flipped off her shoes and sat heavily in her easy chair.

There was a clatter of tiny claws across the hardwood floor. Her little dog, Queequeg, scampered over to her and sat, perching upright. The pomeranian looked at her expectantly.

Scully glanced diffidently left and right, before looking the animal straight in the eye.

"He knows," she said quietly.

"Shit," it said.

 

 

the end
E-Mail: dvaldron@mts.net

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Valdron.
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