Work Text:
Blue Eyes
by Aimless
aimless_210@hotmail.com
Yup, that’s it. That’s the big secret. Actually, this little fact has been so well hidden that I only realized it myself a short time ago.
I had just returned to my cabin aboard the Vast Explorer after spending a few blissfully passionate hours wrapped up in the arms of the young man who had so recently become an integral and irreplaceable part of my life, Gabriel Patterson.
Perhaps the fact that I had secretly begun to think of my young lover as ‘snookie’ should have been the first clue to this newly emerging sentimental side. Ya think? But, I’m getting sidetracked here. Let’s get back to the story.
It had been a long, hard couple of days that had begun with my being forced to fall from the side of a cliff thanks to my old partner, Stefan, and then had ended with…well, I’m not really sure what that was. There was the myth, the Mayan Princess that seemed to take control of Ynez, her young lover, the glowing altar, and a number of strange supernatural happenings. In the end, the combination of events had resulted in Stefan’s death and Ynez’s marriage to Theo.
By the time we were able to escape to the relative sanctuary of the Vast Explorer and make our individual excuses to Mac, Gabe and I were both practically vibrating with lust and need. As soon as the door to his cabin was closed and locked, we pounced on each other, devouring each other with our mouths, groping blindly, and ripping through clothes in our urgency to feel skin against skin. It wasn’t a time for gentleness. We both needed to FEEL, to know that the other was alive and well. It was intense. It was animalistic. It was…absolutely wonderful!
Eventually, our feelings of urgency eased. Gropes became caresses, devouring mouths became lingering kisses, and wild sex became passionate lovemaking.
Gabe had finally fallen asleep in my arms and I was about to join him in dreamland when I heard Mac wandering around the ship, locking things up for the night. In our haste to be together, we hadn’t followed our normal procedure of waiting until Mac was asleep before I went to Gabe’s cabin.
Gabe and I had once discussed informing her of our relationship, but he was afraid. The two of them had become so close – closer than Gabe could ever be to his own siblings – and he didn’t want to risk losing her friendship. Mac was military and, in general, military minds don’t approve of relationships such as ours. I didn’t have the same fears, but I agreed to abide by Gabe’s wishes.
I carefully extracted myself from my partner’s arms and collected my scattered clothing, making a mental note to ask Gabe to look for the three buttons that had been torn from my favorite shirt when he ripped it open, too eager to waste endless seconds unbuttoning them. After dressing, I leaned over and gently kissed the peacefully sleeping young man’s lips.
“I love you,” I whispered, stroking his dark hair back from his forehead.
Gabe mumbled something that sounded like ‘love you, too’ then ended the words with a soft snore. I chuckled then pressed my lips to his forehead before silently sneaking back to my own cabin, mentally developing an excuse for being out and about in case I ran into Mac or she happened to have come looking for me.
After reaching my cabin safely, I turned on my CD player. A little music is just what I needed as I got ready for bed. The multi-disc player shuffled for a few moments before it settled on a single disc and played the first randomly selected song.
‘Tubthumping’ by Chumbawumba. Eewww. Though it’s somehow fitting for these last few days, I was definitely not in the mood to listen to that song. I hit the button and the discs shuffled again.
‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman’ by Shania Twain. Mac!! She knows better than to borrow my CD player without asking, so I decided to hold on to that CD to teach her a little lesson. The discs shuffled again.
They say that the third time is the charm and I finally realized the truth of that statement when the new CD settled into place and the rich, soulful voice of Elton John filled the room. Oh yeah. It was exactly what I was in the mood for!
I didn’t recognize the song, but the vision that immediately filled my mind’s eye was something that I was intimately familiar with.
~Blue eyes, Baby’s got blue eyes
~Like a deep blue sea, on a blue, blue day
See, could this song be any more perfect? Gabe’s blue eyes and the sea are the two loves of my life. I know I was grinning like an idiot as I was getting ready for bed with visions of a naked Gabe running through my mind, but I didn’t care. For the first time in my life, I was truly and completely happy.
The smile was quickly erased when the next lines were sung.
~Blue eyes, Baby’s got blue eyes
~When the morning comes, I’ll be far away
~And I say…
~Blue eyes holding back the tears, holding back the pain
~Baby’s got blue eyes and she’s alone again
Okay, if you simply substitute ‘he’ for ‘she’, that verse hits pretty close to home. My mind was suddenly assaulted with memories of sneaking out of Gabe’s cabin in the middle of the night – usually while he was sleeping – on occasions too numerous to count. Those memories were soon joined by the number of times he had seemed to be in a bad mood the next morning. On a couple of occasions, Gabe was so despondent that Mac had approached me privately to ask if I knew anything about it and if we should be worried. I didn’t know and my response had always been the same. ‘Let’s give him some time. See if he comes out of it on his own.’ He always had. By midday he was always back to normal.
Before the song could play any further, I hit the button to start it again from the beginning. The emotions were even more powerful the second time around. It was as if a veil had suddenly been lifted from my eyes.
Gabe was hurting.
Despite the fact that he was the one who wanted to keep our relationship a secret from Mac, it upset him. It hurt him each time we denied our love for each other by taking a step further apart whenever Mac entered the room, not allowing ourselves to hold each other’s hand, or postponing that long-awaited and much needed embrace. Most importantly, each time he woke in the morning and reached out to find nothing but a cold pillow, a small piece of him died.
I couldn’t take it anymore. That depressingly beautiful song had given me new insight to my young lover. After all this time, I’d finally realized how much our secret was costing him. It was time to end the pain.
Only half listening to the second half of the song, I quickly redressed again, strode purposefully – no, I didn’t sneak – to Gabe’s cabin and entered without knocking. The sight that greeted me was shocking.
Gone was the confident young man, smiling in his peaceful sleep. He had been replaced by – God help me for even thinking this – a child; insecure and weeping silently into his pillow.
As soon as he saw me, Gabe ran a hand across his face, attempting to wipe away all evidence of his emotions. In a split second I was sitting on the edge of his bed and had my arms wrapped securely around him.
“What are you doing here, Judson?” he whispered. The intended harshness of the question was completely ruined by the small sob that escaped upon saying my name. “Mac is still running around on deck. If she didn’t suspect anything after you threw yourself on top of me when Stefan and his goons were shooting at us, then finding you in my room hugging me would be a dead give away!”
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that my actions in the jungle were a little rash. We had been in the middle of the jungle with someone shooting at us and, despite the fact that there were two women with us, my first response had been to protect Gabe; even going as far as to throw myself on top of him in the hope that I could protect him from any bullet that came too close. Gabe absolutely hates it when I do things like that. More importantly, there was someone else who needed my protection more. Mac can always take care of herself, but Ynez couldn’t. Not only was she not used to that type of situation, but also she was the Governor’s daughter! Stefan had already had the Governor believing his lies about us, if anything would have happened to her…
None of that was important now. What WAS important was the man I held in my arms who was still trying to regain his composure from what was supposed to be a private display of emotion.
“Gabe, I’m sorry,” I said simply. “You never should have been hurt.”
He just looked at me, feigning confusion, but he knew exactly what I was talking about.
I released him and made shooing motions with my hands, indicating that I wanted him to move over in the bed. He quickly complied and I lay down next to him and once again gathered him into my arms. He opened his mouth to protest, but I beat him to it.
“I love you, Gabe, and that’s all that matters. Got it?”
He thought for a moment before a small, tentative smile brightened his face. He nodded and snuggled in closer to me. I leaned down until our lips met and we shared a gentle kiss that was so much…more…than anything we’d ever experienced together until that point. It was if the decision to no longer hide our love had lifted a weight from us and in that kiss, the one that sealed our agreement, our souls were finally able to connect. It was amazing. Simply amazing.
And that, my friends is the story of how I finally had the chance to wake up in my lover’s arms with this dopey, sentimental grin on my face. Last night’s realizations, thanks entirely to a single verse from the song ‘Blue Eyes’ by Elton John, has opened up an entirely new world to the two of us, and I couldn’t be happier.
Gabe stirs at my side and I watch closely as those beautiful blue eyes flutter open.
“’Morning,” I murmur a split second before I capture his lips with my own. This earns me a bright smile. God, how I love waking to this!
There’s a knock at the door and Mac’s voice calls out. “Gabe, I hope you’re decent, because I’m coming in.”
We both sit up in the bed and I can feel Gabe stiffen beside me. I take his hand in my own and give it a reassuring squeeze. ‘Come on, Gabe. It’s now or never,’ I mentally urge him.
He locks uncertain eyes onto me for a moment. Finally, he relaxes slightly and responds to our friend. “It’s okay, Mac. Come on in.”
The door opens and Mac strides in. “Gabe it’s your turn…oh, hi Judson…it’s your turn to make breakfast, so up and at ‘em.” And then she’s gone.
Gabe and I look at each other in puzzlement for a moment before erupting in laughter. God, I love that woman. If she was surprised to find me here, she didn’t show it. Nor did she ever reveal it if she knew, or even suspected, that Gabe and I were more than just friends.
When our laughter subsides, we extract ourselves from Gabe’s bed – our bed – and get ready to start the day. Once again I find my mind wandering back to that song. I’m glad I heard it when I did. I’m glad our secret is out. That song will always hold a special place in my heart.
After dressing, Gabe and I are exiting his cabin when the final verse of ‘Blue Eyes’ finally registers with my conscious mind. I can’t help but to sing it aloud
“~Blue eyes, Ooh, I love blue eyes,
~When I’m by his [her] side, where I long to be
~I will see
~Blue eyes laughing in the sun, laughing in the rain
~Baby’s got blue eyes
~And I am home again.”
~*~ The End ~*~