Work Text:
Vultures
by Pirate Turner
His ears twitched as he listened to the gossiping heifers gathered just outside the store.
"So big and strong!"
"Hmp. Yeah. Horse is too."
"Wonder what he's making up for?"
Moo returned his attention to his partner as he questioned the shopkeeper. It was a rare occasion that he let either of his Deputies do all the talking and an even rarer one when Dakota was actually willing to, but their mission was the most important one they'd ever rode on and his mind was too distracted to enable him to pay attention to much more than the herd of heifers giggling behind their white gloves.
He listened as Dakota got the information they needed, perking up only when the shopkeeper told them a young bull who matched Cowlorado's description had rescued a calf while passing through just two days earlier. He had stayed at the inn the first night for free, but when the Mayor had offered him the job of Sheriff the next day, the bull had fled.
Dakota turned to Moo, and their eyes met. "Yup."
Moo nodded. "Thank you, sir," he said, stepping in and paying for their supplies. He then followed Dakota, whose muscular, blue arms were loaded with the supplies, out the door. He watched appreciatively as Dakota loaded their supplies, and still he heard the heifers whispering. Moo listened to all their talk, and though he agreed with the compliments of how big, handsome, and strong Dakota was, he burned within. They had no right to look at his man or compare the two of them as though they were slabs of beef! He shuddered at the thought.
The slight crack of reins alerted him to Dakota's readiness. He marveled at his love's ability to ignore all who were unimportant to him, but as he started forward, a comment about how fine his rear end looked clutched in his pants made him simultaneously blush and lose his battle with his anger.
Moo whirled around, a bit of steam blowing out of his reddened nose. "Ladies, and I use the term with extreme looseness, neither my partner nor I are interested in your attentions, and we would appreciate it if you would avert your eyes and cease treating us as though we are carrion and you are hungry vultures."
The heifers' mouths fell open in a loud, collective gasp. Moo turned his back on them as he mounted his horse. He picked up his reins but paused to look down at them one last time. "And, by the way, he's not making up for anything." He smiled with smug triumph; his eyes twinkled with naughty suggestion that made Dakota's face turn red. "Believe me, I know."
He boldly blew his love a kiss, then urged his steed forward. "HEEYAH!" The partners left the shocked, embarrassed heifers in a cloud of dust.
The End