Work Text:
A Priest's Love
by Pirate Turner
The soft click-clacking of boots on the polished floor shattered the Priest's thoughts as he listened to the approaching footsteps. He quickly finished his prayer before standing and turning. His yellow eyes went wide with surprise at the sight of the beautiful woman who swiftly approached him, and terror touched his heart at the anger that flooded her face. "Amanda!" he called out to her, waving a three-fingered hand in greeting, as he rushed to meet her. "What's wrong?"
"Why don't you tell me, Kurt Wagner?" she demanded as her long, sleek legs quickly ate up the distance between them. Her emerald eyes flashed with her fury, but there were dark rings underneath her eyes.
Kurt froze at the icy voice that met his ears. "Amanda?" he asked, both his face and voice clearly registering his surprise. "Vhat did I do?"
"Don't play innocent with me, Elf!" Amanda exclaimed sharply. "How could you do this to me?! To us?! To the team?!" she demanded furiously as she reached him.
"Amanda, vhat are you talking about?" Kurt asked, clearly bewildered, as he reached out a gentle hand to her shoulder only to have her snap away from him.
"Don't," she hissed, her green eyes burning with her fury. "Don't touch me, and stop with the act!"
"Vhat act?" Kurt asked, his brow creasing with confusion. "Amanda, vhat is going on?!" His voice raised, and he instantly bent his head in regret for having nearly yelled in the Lord's house.
"DAMN IT, KURT!" Amanda yelled. She suddenly gripped his muscular shoulders and began to shake him desperately. "THIS ISN'T YOU!"
"Amanda, please," Kurt pleaded gently with her, "not in the Lord's house!"
"Where else then, Kurt?" Amanda demanded icily, lowering her voice though her eyes filled with tears that she refused to allow to fall. "Where else when you've made this your home now? How could you?! How could you turn your back on your team -- not once, but twice?!" Kurt still did not understand what she was talking about, but, knowing that questions would only increase her anger at the moment, he remained silent and merely listened to her rage instead. "First, you leave Excalibur to supposedly go back to what you claim is your home, the X-Men," she bitterly bit off the name of the first X-team. "Then, you leave the X-Men to become a Priest?!"
Amanda sighed and lowered her head for a moment as she tried to calm her emotions enough that she could finish saying what she had came to this remote church to say. "Amanda, you know I've always held God close to my heart, and . . . "
"I know you've always been a devout Catholic, Kurt, but a Priest?! What were you thinking?!" she demanded as her head raised and her eyes returned to stare accusingly into his again. "You're a good man, Kurt, or at least you were, but there's nothing priestish about you! Look at yourself, for Gods' sakes! You're blue! You've got a pointed tail and ears! You look for all the world like a Demon, and while you are still incredibly handsome," she hurried to add before he could think that she was turning against him for his looks like so many others had, "what church is going to accept a Demon into their fold?"
Her words had stung him, and he pulled away. "This one did," he mumbled softly, "and you, of all people, should know that appearances are deceiving . . . "
"Oh, Kurt," Amanda breathed softly as she stepped closer to him. She pressed a gentle hand to his furry cheek and then forced him to look back at her. "You know I don't hold anything against you because of your looks. You've always been handsome, and your looks have always turned me on! I've never once thought you were ugly! That's not what I'm getting at, and I'm sorry you thought it was. I just can't understand how you could do this . . . I . . . I . . . " Her head lowered again, and a lone tear trickled down her cheek. "I thought you loved me."
Although her own ears could not hear her whispered admission, his pointy ears still clearly heard her words, and for all the anguish her previous words had fueled in him, his heart was now crushed so terribly that it felt as if it had caved in on itself. "I do love you, Amanda," he breathed softly. With very gentle hands, he lifted her chin and lowered his head towards hers, but before their lips could touch, she turned her head so that his lips were met only with her fiery hair.
"Don't," Amanda whispered. "Don't start what you're no longer allowed to finish. You say you love me, Kurt, but did you ever stop to think about all the things you were giving up in order to become a man of the cloth? You've devoted your life to your God, and that not only means that you can never live a normal life but that you also can never live the life you once led. That's not only the superheroics, the swashbuckling, or the adventuring. It's the acrobatics. It's the magic. And, perhaps most of all, it's love and . . . " Finally, she dared to meet his eyes again as she finished, " . . . me."
"Amanda," he breathed, "it doesn't have to be that way!"
"Doesn't it?" she asked him even as her heart broke for the thousandth time at the look in his breath-taking eyes. "When you became a Priest, you gave up women. You can't have both. You can't have both lives, and you can't have both your Priesthood and me."
"But, Amanda, I . . . " His voice broke with emotion as he softly drew his thumb across her cheek. Despite herself, she leaned into the embrace. Their eyes gazed into each other as he again began to lean down towards her. Her lips parted in welcoming, and then a voice shattered the silence that had once more befallen the church.
"What's going on here, Father Wagner?"
Kurt's head snapped up, and he froze as he saw the Bishop standing in the doorway. Looking back to Amanda, he realized that she was right and knew that he had to make a decision. "Get thee to a nunnery, woman," he commanded, "and take thy bewitching ways with thee!"
She had thought she could feel no more pain or sorrow than what had already nearly consumed her when she had first came to the church to seek her beloved out, but his sudden exclamation intensified her horrid feelings a hundredfold. It was all she could do to keep from crying as she shoved him away and ran as fast as her legs could carry her straight out the door, nearly pushing the Bishop down in her rush.
Realizing what he had done, Kurt screamed her name, "AMANDA!" He raced after her, and to his surprise, the Bishop did not attempt to stop him. However, by the time he burst through the church's doors, she was nowhere to be seen.
Amanda Sefton suddenly appeared on another continent entirely than the one her ex-lover searched frantically for her on. Her tear-filled, green eyes darted around the barren walls as she remembered all the wonderful times she had spent with Kurt here in this room that had been his when he had been a member of Excalibur. Those days were over though, she was finally forced to realize, and neither they nor he would ever return to her. Her arms wrapped tightly around her shaking sides as she collapsed to her knees. Her tears finally flowed freely, and she rocked back and forth as her heart-broken sobs echoed in the empty room.
Kurt returned windless from his fruitless search. His ribs ached as he forced his feet to take each step until he reached his destination. Finally arriving at the altar, he collapsed onto his knees. His head bent in prayer, and his hands clasped tightly before his chest. "Father, forgive me," he whispered softly, "for I have sinned . . . "
The End