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Language:
English
Collections:
Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
506
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
10
Hits:
1,112

Captain Oh Captain

Summary:

a little more light-hearted.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

CAPTAIN, OH CAPTAIN
by juls

Captain, oh Captain, problems have we.
We're about to become a pile of debris!
Our engines are dead and the sensors off-line,
The Borg are advancing--they're not far behind!

Geordi, oh Geordi, do whatever you can!
Just get my ship moving without losing a man.
I must have my engines and don't make it slow!
I'll accept no excuses--just make it so!

Captain, oh Captain, wants so much from me.
I'm a miracle worker and I can't even see!
Your systems are working, now it's up to you.
Your ship will now do just what you want it to.

Captain, oh Captain, Q's in your chair.
He's made Data's laugh cause he's given you hair.
My phaser shoots bubbles and my Batleth is plastic!
I believe that it's time to do something drastic!

Lieutenant, Lieutenant--just take it easy!
Put down your console; you're making me queasy
Soon he'll grow bored and he'll be on his way,
And stop growling or you'll be wearing Earl Gray.

Captain, oh Captain, my brother is loose.
He is not really evil, he's merely confused.
With so much potential, he is brilliant and punctual,
And did I mention he is fully functional?

Data, oh Data, that chip's gone to your head.
I know he is family, but Lore wants us dead!
So take the advice of old Dr. Soong
(you know, Lore was right--
it is hard to find a good rhyme for that!)
Now take him apart and back to your room!

Captain, oh Captain, I sense your distress.
My mother's in your quarters, and she's getting undressed.
She thinks that you owe her for running off Q--
Even he couldn't do what she wants out of you!

 

Merde, oh Merde! The holodeck's calling.
I find these developments truly appalling!
I'll be Dixon Hill 'til it's safe to return.
'Til I'm rid of those bridges I'm ready to burn.

Captain, oh Captain, all the crew's sick,
Except for the Klingon, who's being a prick!
Even poor Data is flat on his back!
I'm trying to cure heal them before I'm attacked

Doctor, oh Doctor, my healer divine,
I'm sure that the crew will be well in good time!
With you on the problem I'm sure you can cure them.
Your cures always save us, when we can endure them.

Captain, oh Captain, will you ever retire?
I can't get your ship, and it's my only desire.
You know I respect you and you have my devotion--
But will you ever be taking a damned promotion?

Riker, oh Riker, take your own advice,
The big chair's still mine; you've turned down a ship twice.
Stay as long as you want and you'll be next in line...
But as long as I'm breathing, this ship will be mine!

Captain, oh Captain, together we travel.
The stars are our home with their truths to unravel.
I'll keep you safe as we live out our lives.
Forever your Lady...
...The Enterprise.

 

 

J Lake Heath
(C) 1997

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Juls Heath.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.