Chapter Text
THE ADRIC CHRONICLES
by Cmento
DEAR DIARY:
It wasn't my fault. It really wasn't. I got them away from those stupid guards, didn't I? Couldn't they do something for me before that piece of swamp sludge, the Master, got hold of me? Well, I guess they couldn't. I hate everything right now. I hate the fact that the Doctor had to regenerate into...well, into that. The other one, I remember him telling me he was fourth, he could handle Daleks, Cybermen, Zygons, and Sontarans. This one can barely handle what to eat for breakfast. I feel as though I lost my father a second time, or a big brother. Oh, I know he could be aloof, but so was Varsh, my real brother. Maybe that is why I got along with the other one so well. He was...well...kind of like Varsh. Thinking he could lead...when he really wasn't made for it, thinking he could save everyone with no loss of life, and thinking he would survive anything. Clearly the fourth one didn't, damn him. Screw him and Varsh, for leaving me. This new one...well...perhaps I can leave him? No, not really. I can't leave the Doctor. He's really the same being, isn't he?
And as for the girls. Sigh. Romana. I've not only lost a brother and a father but mother or big sister too. Even took my pet dog. Romana was brilliant, could handle herself in most situations, sometimes better than the Doctor could. Thanks, Romana for leaving me alone on the TARDIS with a Doctor who would get himself killed---but he had too to save the universe again, that much I understand---and two new companions who are just so into themselves and their attention getting from the Doctor that it makes me sick. Oh, I know the Doctor attended to you more than me even before the change but truthfully it didn't matter. He always talked to me, one way or the other and he taught me. To me, it seems as if now, I have to teach him and THEM,
these girls. They could care less about me, I think. Unless it is to make fun of me or correct me on some small error I've made. Damn it all. I should have went with Romana and K9. If Tegan doesn't get us all killed, Nyssa will. And as for the Doctor caring enough about me to care if I am the one to get killed because of them...well, this one probably has his hands full, what with the Master getting the better of him constantly already...I'm sure this one probably will regenerate soon. The sooner the better I guess. That was mean. I wonder what he'd be like after this one?
Maybe I am just being cruel and venting. They all risked entering the Master's web to save me. And HE did save me, this Doctor. Of course, I repaid them by getting them all out of Castrovalva...just. I sure would like to infect the Master with some of my blood--turn him into a slave of some kind. If it weren't for him...the other Doctor would still be here. Perhaps some how he really is under that new young blond guy. I'll have to adjust, I always do.
It's not that I don't like the girls. I do. Tegan's a curiosity to me. I don't fully understand her. She's so...nice sometimes and other times she's just behind tolerating. Way over the top, nervous, mistrusting, conceited, worrying...hyper in all the wrong places. I had to take care of her on Logopolis and in some ways I think she knew that and appreciated it. I just wish she wouldn't jump to snap decisions and rash actions but I must admit I'm guilty of that myself.
Nyssa. Sigh. She's so damned smart and knows it. Yet she tries to cover that she knows it. I try to show that I don't know this but I think it shows that she shows. Cor, what does that mean? There's something about Nyssa that I like, even more than Tegan, but there's something more that I hate, even more than Tegan. I can't really explain it right now. She's very supportive of me sometimes but other times, she shows me up in front of Tegan and the Doctor and God, how I hate that. I want to crawl under a rock. I'm not as good as I think I am, I realize that now. I just don't want some creep like the Master to use it against me to use me against them. But I should show them that I have better judgement than all three of them. Maybe our next few stops will allow me to show them this. I do care about them and wouldn't want any harm to come to them but deep down...who knows? Maybe something better will come along for me and I can leave the way Romana did.
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