Work Text:
Threepio's Dilemma
by susieqla
susieqla@yahoo.com
"I'm naked," Threepio listlessly said to the empty room, helplessly looking about as though he were being shamelessly ogled. "My parts are showing, indeed. Why me? I fail to understand why Master Ani has never bothered to give me covering. Why would he allow me to remain like this? How have I failed him?" The protocol droid looked to the right, then the left as though the answer was ready to strike him. "Oh, the humiliation! Here we are entertaining guests, and I'm parading this shameful nakedness as though it were the most natural thing for a protocol droid to do, as though I was programmed without a shred of decency! My programming impels me to conduct myself with dignified comportment at all times. Going about uncovered violates my programming. Oh, dear...it won't be very long before my circuits fry, fretting about it."
Threepio abruptly stopped his dire-sounding one-sided conversation. His auditory sensors alerted him that he was going to have company momentarily, and he had an instinctively good suspicion who the company would be. Just who did that pesky, thick-bodied interloper think he was by coming to this planet in the first place, and seek him here, to upset him further?
Anakin's room was Threepio's haven, and he had retreated within these confines to seek solace once he had finished serving the Skywalkers' company. It had been most uncomfortable being in the presence of these off-worlders, who had needed shelter from the planet's inhospitable elements. Aside from the lady Padme, the tall bearded man in his flowing tunic, and the outlandish long-tongued creature with a speech impediment were a curious twosome. Despite their oddness, the droid sensed their discomfort having to witness his present state of inappropriateness. Shmi had required her helper's assistance, so he had dutifully contributed to extending hospitality along with the rest of the household.
Now, it was imperative that he be alone, and he was dead set on remaining that way. As he hid in here, he knew that the nagging idea of acquiring suitable coverings would plague him until this need was satisfied. He was quite prepared to never set another foot out of this room until he got some. He had never gone on strike before, but there was always a fist time. His vexing predicament surely
warranted his taking such a drastic measure as he fell to wondering whether his programming would allow him to stage a strike.
\What sort of coverings?/ C-P3O mused. \Suitable for keeping this detrimental sand out...to be sure. It's ruining my delicate interior workings. Time and again, I've told Master Ani how I wish something could be done about this sand's deleterious effects on.../
Threepio stopped thinking, hating the intrusion. R2 was posed at the room's threshold, making the softest beeping sounds. Disgruntled, C-3PO inquired, "I know you're there so you might as well show yourself."
The squat domed busybody complied, entering Anakin's room on a wave of optimism.
Doing a double take, the prickly protocol droid spoke up sourly, "You've come to ridicule me further, have you? Well, I'll give you no such sat--"
"Ridicule? You? When did I do that, See-Threepio? " R2 put the brakes on his blithe advance, targeting the circuited offended one with his photoreceptor.
"As if you don't know."
A gust of argumentative protestation ensued; this was no way to treat a guest. "What are you accusing me of, See-Three--"
"It's just Threepio, if you don't mind." C-3PO planted his hands on his narrow hips, glaring at the astromech droid. "I see no reason for you to stand on formality, not with your making my nakedness so publicly obvious."
"Ah, so that's it. Spewing negativity at me because I told you that you lack metal casing."
Nettled, Threepio shifted his weight to his other hip, posturing in fine affronted form. He turned his back on R2. "Really, hasn't anyone ever told you? If you cannot say anything nice, you should say nothing at all."
"I thought you knew." R2 rolled closer to his new acquaintance. Why was this servant, as he so obviously was, being so uppity? "Threepio, I wasn't trying to offend you. I stated the obvious. Stop being so touchy."
"I'm not as touchy as you might conclude. Touchy, indeed!"
"You sound touchy to me. Touchy and stuffy."
It was too early in their relationship for C-3PO to have known, but R2's intractability was legendary among his peers back on Naboo.
Threepio was beginning to have his suspicions though. "You are an insolent one, aren't you, and I won't stand for it. Do you hear? I am a protocol droid, after all," Threepio indignantly pointed out.
"I'm sorry you think I wanted to offend you. I apologize. Can't we be friends?"
Something genuine in the compact droid's articulation made Threepio face back around. "Well, I suppose we could try."
End