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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
492
Chapters:
1/1
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7
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1,122

Saying Goodbye

Summary:

Rating: PG-13
Pairings: none
Summary: Doyle's death hits Cordy hardest.
Distribuation: http://www.biteyourtongue.net/wilde , anyone who asks nice, anyone who already archives my fic Disclaimer: I don't own Angel chars, sadly enough. Notes: The storyline sprung from the song "LA Song" by Beth Hart from the Screaming for my Supper album, which is amazing.

Work Text:



Saying Goodbye
by Elizabeth Wilde

Angel knocked on the door to Doyle's apartment already knowing what he would find inside.  He had seen Cordelia, hair a mess, tears streaming down her pale face, take the spare key to Doyle's apartment from the office.  "Cordelia, open the door," he called when no answer came.

"Why?  Why should I?" came an uncertain voice from inside.

"Because I want to help," Angel replied quietly.

After a significant pause, the door edged open.  Cordelia backed away from the door and then curled up once more on the threadbare couch.  In her hand, she clutched a bottle of whisky; no doubt she had found the prize stashed among Doyle's few possessions.  Dark circles made her dark eyes appear depthless and along with her numb expression gave the impression of someone suffering a long illness.  The staring eyes searched Angel's face as if they sought salvation in the familiar, unchangeable friend.  "You don't seem to be helping much yet," Cordelia observed dully, her voice lacking its usual edge and bite.  She took a swig from the bottle.  "It's not so bad after awhile."

Angel reached out for the bottle, but Cordelia snatched it back out of his reach, frowning darkly.  He held up a hand in surrender and sat down beside her. "This isn't going to make it better, Cordelia.  You're just going to hurt yourself.  Doyle wouldn't want that."

The woman's mouth twitched and tears appeared in her eyes.  "We don't know what he wants anymore, Angel.  He's gone."

"I understand how much it hurts," Angel began.  "I've lost-"

"Exactly!" Cordelia snapped, rising from the couch to point her free finger at Angel.  "Exactly the problem!  You've lost.  You do know what this is like. Been there, done that.  Business as usual."  She took a step closer, voice low and breath reeking of alcohol.  "This is the first time I've ever lost like this.  At all, really, unless you count me dumping Xander's sorry ass.  That was a choice.  This wasn't."  Falling to the sofa with a dull thump, Cordelia buried her face in her hands.  "Whoever the hell decides this stuff took Doyle from me without asking me.  I wasn't ready to lose him."

For a few painfully silent moments, neither spoke.  "No one's ever really ready to lose someone they care about, especially not-

"Stop trying to help me!" Cordelia screamed, shoving Angel away with all the strength she could manage.  "Stop trying to make the pain stop!  Quit trying to pretend that it's okay that he's gone and that everything is going to be okay again.  It never will be.  Being okay isn't okay.  It's not okay for the world to keep turning and for us to be happy and for everybody else not to know who he is and what he did for them.  He saved them, damn it!"

end part 1