Work Text:
The Investigator and the Outside Consultant
by Irena Adler
"Larry, I need your help!"
"Agent Eppes, what can I do for you today?"
"It's actually `Uncle Don' that needs your help."
"Oh? Is everything alright with your adoptive niece?"
"I need a rocket, Larry."
"Um … Don, you do realize that I don't actually own the space shuttle?"
"Well, yeah, but—"
"In fact, I was merely a passenger. The pilot was a remarkably steady-handed woman named Amelia Paches. We had several interesting conversations concerning the physics and the metaphysics of `piercing' the atmosphere of Earth."
"Larry, I meant a model rocket. How high do they get?"
"I imagine that would depend on the means of propulsion and other factors."
"You mean you – Nena, just head to the car, I'll be right behind you – you mean you don't do model rockets?"
"Not since I was a small child. I've been more interested in aspects of astrophysics that could not be tested with cardboard and firecrackers."
"I need firecrackers?"
"I don't think so, for a rocket. A firecracker's energy is expended omni-directionally and probably wouldn't give you the desired thrust."
"It needs to go high. Do I just go to a hobby store?"
"I doubt that an off-the-shelf purchase would give you significant altitude."
"Larry, man, I need a rocket!"
"May I ask the nature of the urgency of this situation?"
"Nena thinks I launched a doll's head into space."
"I must not have heard you correctly. A doll's head?"
"Yeah, but I just hit it out of sight and if I don't find a way to stop her from launching the Lego spaceships now that I know about them, it's going to be my fault somehow."
"Lego spaceships?"
"Please, Larry, can you help me? My `cool uncle' credentials are on the line!"
"Agent Eppes, I shall do my utmost."
end