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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
506
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
9
Hits:
809

The Meaning of Walls

Summary:

Prompt: a habit he can't give up
Kink: sex against a wall
Warnings: slash, no spoilers, post-Chosen
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except in my dreams.
Beta: Thanks Silvia/SRS and Becca/Maj. Paul.
Author's Notes: Written for ROK. This should have been complete kinky smut, and instead turned into angst/fluff/metaphorical introspection. "glares at Sub" Feedback is love and will be rewarded with cookies (and smut).  

Work Text:

            It was a habit he couldn’t seem to give up, an addiction that he didn’t really want to. After all, there was no real reason for him to deprive himself of it. Walls had always had a major role in his life.

 It was ironic to him just how important a part walls seemed to have played for him. Perhaps not entirely surprising given the symbolic nature of them, they had come to mean so many different things throughout the years.

            Made to divide rooms and provide shelter, walls could be both distancing and comforting, a physical reassurance of safety. When he was younger, they gave him refuge from the outside world, protecting him from his parent’s harsh criticism and physical anger. He felt like walls were the only thing he could depend on to support him, capable of withstanding any force brought to bear against him.

            Then as a teenager, walls lost some of their mystique. They became mostly an illusion of comfort, a fantasy of safety. The idea that within them, he was protected from the monsters. Unless the monsters were already inside, then they became a frightening thing. A barricade against escape, a weapon used against him, as he became used to being thrown into and even through walls. And if there were creatures strong enough to break through walls then what use were they really. He had lost some more of his innocence, and could no longer believe in them blindly.

            As an adult they changed yet again. They were a source of independence, of accomplishment. It became his job to construct walls, and it was something he was good at. While relationships and friends fell apart around him, he could still build and repair the walls around them. The house they lived in became a metaphor for the life they lived. And he tried to hold onto the belief that as long as he could keep repairing the physical damage, he could also repair the emotional, could hold them all together.

            With the destruction of the hellmouth, and Sunnydale with it, walls changed for him once again. Now they were something that held him up, as a strong mouth forcefully devoured his own. That supported him as he slumped back against them, weak kneed, warmth and heat surrounding his cock, as his lover’s mouth did its absolute best to drive him insane. Walls helped provide resistance, as he was pounded into from behind, driven into them, hands scrambling for a hold and cock leaving a stream of precum across their shiny surface.

            Walls had always been important to him; a symbol for all that had changed in his life, and a physical and illusionary comfort against the ills and evils of the world. They were a double edged sword, tool and weapon, help and hindrance. Now with the inclusion of Giles in his life, they were an addiction, a habit he couldn’t give up. Something he unconsciously focused on throughout the day, waiting for his lover to pounce.