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It had never happened before, but then again, this was a relationship of firsts.
The first time he had ever been attracted to another man. The first time he had acted on that attraction and slept with another man. The first time he had taken the risk to sleep with his boss. The first time he had fallen love, and it was love, that was the only thing that could possibly have brought about so many firsts. Not the least of which was this, the first time he willingly let himself be vulnerable with another person.
It was one of the reasons he had never had a long term or meaningful relationship. He was too insecure, about himself, about the other person’s feelings for him. It was a natural assumption on his part to make that sooner or later anyone he tried to have a relationship with would get bored of him. He didn’t feel comfortable sharing too much of himself, and couldn’t bring himself to be set up for rejection. Better to keep it to one night stands and meaningless relationships, than be open to that kind of hurt.
Not that he wasn’t aware that he had issues. He was never the type of person to maintain a false sense of identity, he knew himself through and through. While his sense of insecurity and paranoia of rejection were noted, they were never dealt with. It had never come to the point where he thought it important enough to do so. Until now.
Now as he lay blindfolded and gagged, tied spread eagle across the bed, he couldn’t help but think how things had changed. He had always been the aggressor in a relationship, focusing his attention on the other person so that it wouldn’t be directed at him. Yet there was never any question of redirecting Gibbs, of having this remain as superficial as so many other relationships. With the same single minded intensity Gibbs brought to everything else, he had sought to capture Tony's heart and soul, and succeeded without question. There was just no saying no to the man.
It was one of the reasons he had fought so hard with himself about entering this relationship. It had frightened him how easily he gave in to the other man’s desires, how willing he was to expose his inner thoughts and secrets. In the end though, he had conceded and in return was given more than he had ever dreamed possible. He had never felt this much trust for another person, and knew that that trust was whole heartedly returned. Still, while he trusted Gibbs enough to put himself in this situation, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going crazy.
Bound and gagged as he was, there wasn’t much he could do to speed things along. He wondered if Gibbs was trying to kill him, getting him aroused almost to the point of coming, and then backing off, silently disappearing. Though Tony still knew he was there, could feel his gaze like a living flame across his skin, burning him alive, a fire he never wanted to escape. The feel of those wolf blue eyes, clever and domineering, gliding across his skin, peeling away all that made him up. He knew what that gaze was silently saying, mine, all mine, and with that knowledge in his mind, he came with a piercing cry, knowing that having entrusted himself to Gibbs’ keeping he would always be loved and protected.