Work Text:
the 13th one
by CMento
It had to happen to the both of us. Sooner or later it had to. Sooner or later meant nothing to me, as a Time Lord. The words do now. They did at that moment also. Funny or rather ironic that it should be the Silurians that caused both our downfalls. This was to be their second invasion of Earth--the third happens later on in the future when I was in my Fifth incarnation.
After what he did to them the first time---blowing them up in a cave--sealed, seemingly forever, they wanted no talk of peaceful co-existence. There was no way we could sway them from their hate filled plans to wipe out all human life. Sad in that the explosion we used did just that to them. You see, it was my fault just as much as it was his fault that such means were used--both times I should have found other methods or at least hung about to check that the Brig didn't blow them up. This second time I directly blew them up. I'm a sad, sorry and old Doctor.
He was here also--sad and sorry, as much as I, maybe more. It was only a year after that dreadful encounter with Morgaine, her son, and the otherworld Knights. He said he was done with me for good and handed me over to Ace. A year to him, not I. Ace was gone and I came back in time. I am at the end of my 12th Regeneration. He was happy to see me and happier to have my help with the Silurians, hoping to find a second chance to undo what he did.
As I laid there after struggling, rolling, crawling, and limping to him, I realized he too, must be dying. He was. Caught in the full impact of the bomb, I knew I was going. The blast had caught him as he fled, only at my urging did he ever run. From the missile site. I didn't think about the flying scrapnel or what the fire itself---what it did to his body. I tried to rethink that lost conversation, even as I later found out--his wife was being rushed over, by helicopter no less. Imagine that.
"Doctor, what will you do, regenerate again?"
"No, my friend," my then fat, short, stocky self said, "I am at the end of my last self. I cannot."
"Neither can I," he joked, in pain. "Your own fault, Doctor, you never stayed out of trouble, out of the thick of things."
"We will know each other in the next world---for we shall only pass on."
"Yes, I believe that, too. And I've lead a good one here. Only..." he coughed and I didn't know if it was because of the pain that he paused or because he searched for the correct wording, "...because this world, this universe, this existence still needs you in the here and now or the then and will-be's--still needs you in the thick of things.." He was joking at time like that. Yet what he said was serious.
"If this fat body could have run a bit faster..."
He countered my joke, "Is there a way, Doctor?"
Damn my 7th Persona for having told him about the Master and Tremas. Damn his great memory. It was only a year ago. To him. To me, it was eons, ages, a year..."Yes," I whimpered. "I don't know the full implications of it and only special entities can do it--as far as I know only three have in the past--Rassilon, Omega, the Master..."
"Doc--Doctor, no time for a Time Lord history lesson! I'm dying!" And he was. After this outcry, he gegan to fade, slowly closing his eyes.
"I'm coming." I moved this stubby body over to him, even seeing without my spectacles. I found it hard to do. His spirit may continue elsewhere or with my own. Or it may...no I refused to believe it then or now. I went into him, melded with him, combined with him. In retrospect, I see it was not the horror I imagined. I only equated it iwth the horror due to the Master and how he did this to poor Tremas. Perhaps the Master didn't have to let theTremas part die. Maybe he chose to . I would not. Yet I was not sure what this bonding meant. I was in, unaware of the slow process, then transforming the Brigadier's features into a somewhat younger looking version of himself. But it was me. And unlike many former regenerations, this process left me with my normal (or as near as I can get to normal) faculties. Many memories flooded our minds. The Brigadier had known Adric. How? Adric had been saved by the Master from the Frieghter and used to try to blow up Gallifrey. This averted, Adric was later assigned to Earth and met Lethbridge two or three times. He has known and never had the time to tell me. Well Adric was alive.
Implications for the future hit me--what if Lethbridge went to Gallifrey--what would he think of it. To my knowledge he had never been there. I didn't know very much though---I new nothing. What would happen if he met Leela, what would they have thought of each other; again--far as I knew no such meeting ever occurred but my memories have been tampered
with so many times...
She arrived. She ran up to me, "Alistare? Are you hurt? Where's the..." She looked up into our...my eyes. She noticed the change. "Who are you?" I felt dizzy. Some of the radiation from the Silurian power house must have given me the power to accomplish this but it also left me a bit...strange.
I put a hand to my head, "I....I...I don't know..." Suddenly, I grabbed her shoulders, I want you to know that he wanted it this way. He requested it!"
"Then he's....de..."
"I don't think so."
"My God!" Doris widened her eyes in accusation, "What have you done to him? I always knew he'd end up in terrible trouble because of you." She tugged away from me and tried to run.
"No," I grabbed her hand, "Don't leave! Not like this!" A pang of Tegan's time with me hit my memory. I think I said the same thing to her, once. Doris cried, trying not to look at the image of her husband.
Then after what seemed like an eternity, even to a timeless Time Lord, she looked into my eyes and saw us. "He ...he is in there, too, isn't he?"
"I hope so." I tried to go on, "It was the only way. We were both dying. I only knew one way we could survive. I wasn't sure it would even work but with the special radiation forces from the new Silurian secret weapon..." I dropped her hand.
Doris wiped her face dry with her arm, "What will you do now?"
"Return to your home. That's where the TARDIS is, remember." I didn't want to get her hopes up so I quickly added that.
"You'll leave?"
"Not right away," I lied.
We were silent all the way back to the estate. The gardeners and hired help were very confused as was I--and the helicopter pilot--he has a strange blank but confused look. I suspect his blank stare was just to cover his horror at this. The Brig knew them all very well. Tryingto convince myself it was for the best, I sent Doris into the house for some tea. While she fetched it, I headed into the garden wehre the TARDIS trampled a well place tree they had once planted together. Ghoulishly symbolic, I thought. I lingered at the doors for a long time, standing without looking. I hung my head down, unaware of her reapproach but from behind.
She was wise to me. I entered and before I could close the double doors, so did she. She felt, no...still feels...she can bring to the surface those last vestages of her husband. The TARDIS was off before I realized she was behind me. "So this is the TARDIS." All I knew was a longing for the familiar--for Susan, Jamie, Victoria, Jo, Sarah Jane, Leela, Romana... for Gallifrey... She stayed with me and these days she has even reconciled herself to the nerve pounding danger we always find ourselves in. It will be a long time until my next 12th life....
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