Work Text:
The scene opens with Virginia sitting on the couch of a small, brightly-lit apartment with lots
of plants. She is obviously in labor and is glaring at the man running around the room packing.
Wolf (pausing): Why didn't we pack before now again?
Virginia (gritting her teeth): Because we forgot. Now hurry up and finish before I walk to the
hospital!
Wolf (nodding, wide-eyed): Whatever you want! You're the mother!
Virginia watches like a hawk while her husband finishes packing the travel bag, then stands,
ready to leave.
Virginia (leaving no room for argument): Come on. Let's leave. Now.
Wolf opens the door for her and follows close behind as they enter the elevator, exit the
building and hail a cab.
Virginia: St. Mary's. Now.
The driver, not in the least affected by her condition, snorts and pulls away from the curb.
Driver: Whatever you say, lady.
Wolf (to Virginia): How do you feel?
Virginia: Like I'm going to die. But I'm not that lucky.
Virginia grips the taxi seat and presses her lips firmly together as another contraction
begins. She turns to Wolf, expression accusatory.
Virginia: This is your fault! You and your... your smile and flowers and... Ugh! Take my
hand.
Though her tone is far from inviting, Wolf complies, wincing as she grabs his hand hard enough
to suggest bone-crushing. The driver, having caught the action in the rearview, shakes his
head.
Driver: Okay, folks, here we are.
He watches as Wolf and Virginia exit the cab. Wolf's face is red from supressing a howl at how
hard Virginia is clutching his hand.
Driver (too quiet for them to hear): Good luck.
Virginia and Wolf enter the hospital and cross to the front desk, where a perky blond nurse
smiles brightly at them.
Nurse: It's time, huh?
Virginia: No, I came to get my stomach rotated.
Nurse (carefully ignoring Virginia's sarcasm): Well, let's get you into a room then.
After motioning to another nurse to put Virginia into a wheelchair, she hands Wolf a clipboard
thick with forms.
Nurse: Sir, if you'll just fill these out, we'll get you scrubbed so you can go in with your
wife.
Wolf: Thank you.
Taking the pad, Wolf sits uneasily in the nearest chair. He frowns at the questions, filling
them in as best he can.
Wolf (mumbling to himself): Date of birth? Why, today, of course!
Finishing with a flourish, Wolf hands the nurse the forms and smiles expectantly.
Wolf: Now can I go with Virginia?
Nurse: Yes, sir, if you'll just follow me.
The nurse helps Wolf scrub up and then leads him into Virginia's room. Virginia is lying on the
bed looking less than happy.
Virginia (spotting Wolf): You! You did this to me!
Wolf hesitates in the doorway as if contemplating a strategic retreat.
Virginia: Don't even think about it! Get over here.
Wolf complies promptly, taking Virginia's outstretched hand. His face contorts in pain as she
squeezes the already-abused hand. A pleasant-looking doctor and another blond nurse enter the
room.
Doctor: Looks like we're all ready here! What I need you to do, Mrs. Wolfson, is push.
Glaring at the doctor, Virginia pushes, squeezing Wolf's hand tight enough to elicit a whimper
from her husband.
Doctor: Very good. A couple more like that and we'll be set.
His cheerful attitude is obviously grating on Virginia's nerves and she shoots him a dirty
look. Catching the venomous glare, the doctor clears his throat and returns his attention to
the business at hand.
Doctor: Again.
A few moments pass in relative silence.
Doctor: Again. (a pause) I can see the head! One more, Mrs. Wolfson!
A moment later, the doctor and nurse are busy cutting the baby's umbilical chord. A moment
after that, a lusty scream comes from the baby.
Doctor: It's a boy!
Wolf: I told you, Ginny! A fine young-
Doctor (looking pale): He has a tail. A long furry one.
Wolf (obviously proud): That's my boy!