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Adventures of Monkey Boy and Moron Girl.
by Lopaka Tanu
Rose was feeling golden today. Usually, she was in a silver mood, the aches and pains of getting older making getting around hard. However, today was extra special and made up for her body failing her. Smiling, she backed out through the kitchen door in to the living room with a tray loaded down with hot chocolate. "Here we are, girls! Extra marshmallows for all!"
Spread across the furniture, the other three women sat there with looks of disgust on their faces. Dorothy had a handkerchief permanently attached to her nose, glaring through teary eyes at Rose. Blanche was completely puffy and pale. Sophia was trussed up in so many blankets she appeared to be a borrito which made Rose laugh all the harder.
"What are you so happy about, fluff head," was what Blanche meant to say. Instead, what came out sounded more like a walrus caught in a meat grinder.
Laughing harder, Rose set the tray down on the coffee table and handed each of the women their mugs. "Oh, I was just thinking how wonderful it is that I can be of such help to you girls and how it reminded me of how my cousin Ingmar Johannson used to entertain the old folks down at the local nursing home. When he was born, his father took one look at him and said 'that boy is going to make a fortune in show business'. He was almost right."
Rose ignored Blanche's groan. Smiling, she shoved Dorothy back in to her seat. Turning to Sophia, she smiled at the woman's face, the only thing visible through the blankets. She'd wrapped Sophia up extra tight just for this. Grabbing Sophia's medicine, she placed it to the old woman's lips. When Sophia refused to swallow, Rose smiled sweetly. "Drink it or drown, it doesn't matter either way."
Sophia quickly swallowed the sickeningly sweet concoction.
"Now, as I was saying, my cousin Ingmar used to go down and entertain the people at the home. His was most famous for his monkey act." Giggling at the memory, Rose started to drift off in reflection, then remembered Sophia had hot chocolate. Holding the glass to the older woman's lips, she stroked some of the hair off the her face. At a grunt, Rose shook her head. "No, Blanche, he didn't turn tricks for bananas. Well, there was that one time, but I'm not supposed to mention it. Anyways, Ingmar was born with a tail."
Sophia started to gag on the hot chocolate.
"Oh, sorry about that, I didn't know it was too hot. Here, let me clean you up." Wiping at Sophia's mouth, Rose missed the looks of pure malice coming from Blanche and Dorothy. "Ingmar was the toast of the town, everyone who was sick wanted to see him."
"You don't say." Again, Blanche was incomprehensible.
"Well, this went on for a few years until the accident." Rose nodded at Sophia as if the woman understood. "He was out swinging about on the farm equipment. See, Ingmar thought swinging from trees was too cliche, which we all agreed to at the time. Had we known, we would have told him to stay away from those hay balers. Poor Ingmar, poor, poor Ingmar."
She wiped a tear from her eyes. "Ingmar was very good at swinging up, it was the landing part he had trouble with. One day, he swung up and his tail caught the switch on the hay baler. When he came down, he landed right in the spout. Oh, it was the most God awful sound you ever heard. That hay baler screeched and Ingmar screamed. Eventually he was shot out the other side hog tied in twine. The twine was so tight around his tail it cut off circulation and it was dead before they could remove it.
"Poor Ingmar, he was never the same after that." It was a sad moment, such a tragic event in her cousin's life. He loved that tail. "He tried once to do his monkey impression, but when he fell off the chandelier because his tail wasn't there to catch him, he swore off show business all together." Standing up, Rose sighed and picked up the tray. "I'm going to get some more hot chocolate, be right back!"
"Blanche!" Holding her friend's arm to keep her from throwing the mug, Dorothy shook her head. "You know better than that."
Glaring, Blanche lowered her mug to the coffee table.
Fingering her own mug, Dorothy's eyes narrowed. "We'll wait until she's asleep then we shave her bald."
THE END.