Chapter Text
This poem reminded me of a story, or rather part of a story I'd written a couple of years ago and since sablerose inspired me, I thought I'd post it for you.
Title : Just go away
Author : sablerose2
E-Mail : sablerose2@sbcgloba l.net
I loved once when the sky was old
and the world was new.
Thinking only about me and you, no
other thoughts or dream so true.
Now life is over the world she has drawn
her last breath and the sky has fallen.
There is nothing left.
Time is gone no more to turn staring
at this lonely void.
Bring back the blue and green make
the sun shine bright as gold.
Warm me once again as I feel the pain
sinking in.
Alone I stand, the one that's left, no more
will I feel the soft caress of your sweet
and gentle breath.
Cold and gray is the day as everything
just fades away.
I lay a rose upon your grave and pray
to make it all just go away.
A New Beginning
by Mummiehelen
grhesc@yahoo.com
Prologue
Part One:Vietnam 1970
Eighteen year old lance corporal Walter Skinner had been brought into a Saigon field hospital in a body bag during Danielle's shift. It was her job to get him out of it, clean him, bandage his wounds, dress him in a hospital issue gown and get him into a cot. She made a point to stop by and talk to him everyday. Even though he was in a coma, she was sure he felt her presence. When he *did* wake up, they slowly became friends. She'd play cards with him or leave her transistor radio for him to listen to while she cared for the other patients on the ward.
Normally, she'd feel too shy to even look at someone like Walter in the face. He was as handsome as she was plain. To make matters worse, she was a sturdy country girl making her ideal for this job but not for anyone's girlfriend. At an even six feet, she was too tall for most guys. She could and had lifted wounded soldiers, and helped those who couldn't walk on their own. But she had become comfortable in his presence while he was still in a coma and he was nice to be with, easy to talk to.
Over the course of his recovery, she fell in love with him. But she was the type men had as friends, not lovers. Unlike a beautiful woman they'd want to impress, the patients on the ward felt at ease with her. She was a comforting presence that posed no threat to their masculinity when she had to perform what would normally be embarrassing acts of personal hygiene.
One day as she was checking the chart at the foot of his bed, she saw Dr.Morton had signed his release papers. Walter was leaving tomorrow morning. She went through the rest of her shift like an automaton. That night in her cot, she tried to figure out how she was going to say goodbye without him seeing what she really felt. She tried out one scenario after another. She wanted to be able to shake his hand and look him in the eye and wish him well. But after a night spent crying instead of sleeping, she decided to report to sick bay instead. It was the cowardly thing to do but, she knew she couldn't face him.
He asked her replacement, a dour looking woman who told him Nurse Fielding had reported sick that morning. His transport was already landing and he didn't have time to see her. He would have liked to say goodbye and try to offer her a small measure of the comfort she'd given him all these months but, the pilot was waving him on. He was lifted into the air with the feeling that this wasn't finished.
Part Two: Washington D.C. Twenty Five Years Later
Walter Skinner, now an assistant director with the FBI, got the invitation to the anniversary of the fall of Saigon dinner and called his friend Kieth Davidson about it.
"I was only in Nam a few months and even though I stayed in the hospital in Saigon, I was out of there by the time it fell."
"That's long enough and I'd like you to be there." his friend and Marine 'lifer' told him. "You still have your uniform?"
"Yeah but, I was a teenager the last time I wore it."
"So get it tailored. I expect you to be there in full regalia.
April 30, 2000 The Pentagon 1900 Hours
A woman stood catching up with friends from her old unit. These were the women who along with herself had volunteered to stay after Jan 15 1973 when President Nixon announced the suspension of offensive action and the Paris Peace Accord was signed on Jan 27 of that year, citing the many military personal still recovering in their field hospital. They only left by forced evacuation during the fall of Saigon on April 29 1975.
The two men passed the group just as Keith was getting to the punchline of a funny story he was telling Walter. He burst out laughing.The woman felt a tingling up her spine as she recognized the deep rumbling laughter that could belong to only one man. She had hoped time would dim the memory of the handsome lance corporal.
She dared a glance in his direction. Maybe she was wrong. No. She wasn't, it was him and he looked spectacular. She excused herself from the group and went to the ladies room.
In the privacy of the stall, Danielle relived the day Walter shipped out. She'd seen him from sick bay. It was only briefly and from behind but, he looked great in his uniform as he did now. She thought time had dulled her feelings but, all the heartache and regret overwhelmed her like a tidal wave. She came out and washed her hands and splashed her face, checking her reflection in the mirror. She didn't look much like she had back then. She'd worn her hair very short for practicality and the humidity played havoc with it. Wearing make-up would have been a pointless waste of time in the jungle, even if she had known how to apply it. But a friend in med school had shown her how to make the best of her features. She grew her hair out to chin length bob. Generally she wore light makeup but for tonight, she'd turned her face over to the makeup artist at the salon where she got her hair done and even she had to admit, the woman had worked wonders. Her eyes were an unusual honey color which had been accented with deep gray shadow, rimmed in black liner and framed with her naturally thick lashes getting two coats of lengthening mascara. Her dad had described her hair color as 'shit brindle brown' but it had developed copper highlights in the intense sunlight of Saigon. Now she had them added to her hair regularly. Tonight she looked the best she ever had but, was it enough to face him? And if it was, would he even recognize or remember her? She felt the same cowardice she had the day he left and decided to just go home from here and not return to the ballroom at all. She went to the coat check and got her wrap. Suddenly she heard a voice behind her.
"Excuse me but, weren't you a nurse...."
She turned to find Walter staring at her.
"No, I'm sorry. You must have mistaken me for someone else. Please excuse me." she cut him off before he could finish his question.
She walked away purposefully and had the doorman get her limousine.He watched from the lobby, so sure he recognized her but, obviously she was someone of higher rank.
Vietnam War Memorial May 1, 2000
Seeing so many friends from that time reminded Walter to visit the names of those who hadn't survived. He was walking to the section where the members of his fallen platoon were carved when he saw the woman in uniform. She held a bouquet of pink roses in one hand and the other pressed to a name of the wall.
"It's May Day Jill. I bought you some flowers. I hope God gave you a nice plot to work." she said and laid the flowers and the base of the wall.
Her friend and fellow nurse had always talked about how she missed her garden and that the the first thing she was going to do when she got back was replant it cause it must have gone to seed in her absence.
Walter hung back, to let the woman finish. When she did, she almost ran right into him. He looked at the name plate
Capt. Danielle Fielding, M.D.
"It was you last night." he said more hurt than angry. "And you knew it was me."
She could only nod, her throat too constricted to speak.
"Why Danielle?"
"Can we go somewhere to talk?" she managed to get out.
At his place, she poured out everything about that time.
"I had no idea." he said when she was done."You were so warm and easy to be with."
"Safe." she added.
"That's not what I meant. I had the libido of any other teenager till I was injured. You of all people should know that the wounds and the meds to treat them bring that way down. If Cybil Shepard made a personal appearance in the ward, I wouldn't have responded."
"So that's your taste huh, blue-eyed blonds."
"It was then." he said with a chuckle.
From that night, they started seeing each other. He fell for her as she had for him and they were married September 8, 2000
One Year Later
Walter and Danielle sat at the breakfast table discussing plans for the coming weekend over second cups of coffee. Sunday was their first anniversary and they wanted to go away to celebrate.
"Perhaps one of those out of the way Inns." he suggested.
"Sounds good to me." she said, kissing him on the cheek as she got up to put her cup in the sink. "I have to push off. I have a meeting at 0730."
"Okay. Will you bring me the paper from the hall before you leave?"
"Sure." she said. A moment later she handed it to him, kissing him again before she left.
"See you tonight." she said, grabbing her briefcase.
He waved without lifting his head, little realizing he'd never see her again. He opened the paper and under the heading, The Washington Post was the date.
September 11 2001
He called her the moment he heard about the World Trade Center getting hit.
"It's so awful." she said,watching the carnage on TV in the conference room where her meeting had taken place earlier. They talked for a few minutes more before arranging to meet for dinner. The Pentagon was hit an hour after the towers. Walter dashed out of his office and drove the short distance. He was allowed as far as the center courtyard and was there when the damaged section collapsed. He knew Danielle was inside helping her co-workers in her capacity as a doctor. The truth was confirmed later that night when he received the official list.
It read:
Capt. Danielle F. Skinner 52,
Crystal City Virginia
Medical Doctor, U.S. Army
Confirmed dead in building
A New Beginning
Part One
Arlington Cemetery Sept 11, 2003
Walter laid the rose at the base of the headstone. He squatted down as he always did to read her name and dates of birth and death, then below that: Beloved Wife.
Although he came here less often now, the events of 9/11/2001 came flooding back to him. Then, he felt like the whole nation was mourning with him and he just wanted to do it alone. Now he felt more like he could. He berated himself again for taking her presence for granted on that fateful morning but, he also remembered the passion they shared the night before. He regretted they never got to celebrate the anniversary that was only a few days away.
He kneeled so he could rest his head on the granite stone. This is when he felt closest to Danielle, when he often had visions of her, or perhaps they were only dreams of some sweet memory. This time, when he closed his eyes, she was there right away.
"Walter." Danielle spoke clearly from behind her grave.
"Huh? What?"
"I know you'll always keep a place for me in your heart but you need to move on. You still have a lot of life to live. I know there is great passion in you and I don't want you wasting it on guilt. We all take our loved ones for granted. I did it too."
"We should have both left work as soon as the WTC was hit." he said.
"Neither of us would have and hindsight is 20/20 vision. Now I don't mind if you want to come here every so often but, not on your lunch. You should be eating a good meal to get you through the afternoon and the long nights you stay at the office"
"You know about those?"
She just smiled.
"What else do you know?" he asked cautiously.
"Everything. You can have the life you wanted for us if you just let fate do its work and take care of your destiny."
"What are you talking about?" he asked dumbfounded.
"I was allowed one trip back to help you in whatever way I felt best."
"Can't you be more specific?"
She shook her head.
"What about you?" he asked.
"We'll be together again but not for a while."
His cell phone chimed, he shook himself and looked around. He was alone. He opened the flip phone and answered.
"Skinner." he said in a shaky voice.
"Sir, are you alright?" Kim asked.
"Yes, why?"
"Well you've been gone three hours."
He checked his watch. She was right.
"I'm sorry, I lost track of time."
"Are you coming back?"
"What's on my schedule?"
"Nothing pressing."
"Then I think I'll take the rest of the afternoon." he said and closed the phone.
The Hay-Adams Hotel
William Forest was losing patience with his protege. She was as temperamental as she was talented. He would have left years ago except he was in love with her. Not in the usual sense. Oh, she had all the attributes normal men are attracted to, beauty, charm, intelligence but what he loved was her talent. God, he could orgasm listening to her play.
She'd had a natural affinity for music since she was a child so her parents had turned her over to the best teacher, (himself) to develop it. After he taught her all he knew how, and she had far surpassed him to the point where she obviously didn't need him anymore, he became her manager and used his contacts to launch her career. Truth be told, she could have done it on her own. All she had to do was win one big competition and her future was assured. He always talked her parents out of allowing that cause of course, that would be the end of the need for him. And while he got her bookings, he also strove to become indispensable to her. He planned everything for her, made her dependent upon him, just so he could stay near her. It had worked well for years but, now an independent streak was rising in her, a restlessness and he feared she'd see she really didn't need him at all.
"MacKenna, are you going to come out of your room or are you going to sulk all day?" he asked as he rapped on her door.
The double doors flew open with a flourish.
"Fuck off William, I'm going out!" Brianne MacKenna said shrugging into her jacket.
"There's a rehearsal this afternoon." he warned.
She threw him a smirk. They both knew it was more for the orchestra than for her.
"I'll be there in time to go over any rough spots with them."
"Where are you going?"
"I told you...out!"
"Leave your cellphone on in case I need to get in touch."
"Oh, you mean the electronic leash?"
"We just got in.You haven't played here in years and you don't know your way around. I don't want you to get lost."
What he didn't realize was the laptop she had for studying music, was also her passport to the world. She could get information on transportation, restaurants etc. and print out maps which she had done in the business center of the hotel in New York City so she'd be prepared to go exploring once they got to DC. She was sooo sick and tired of staying in her hotel rooms when the most exciting cities in the world were just outside her door. She thought the nation's capitol was the perfect place to start her adventures.
"It's going to rain." Forest yelled in a last ditch attempt to get her to change her mind.
She went to the hall closet and pulled out the umbrella, brandishing the thing like a sword.
"I'll take this with me." she said as she slammed the door.
Once she was out of the hotel, she fairly danced down the street with the umbrella on her shoulder. She 'window shopped' at some of the most exclusive stores in the city, then stopped in at a gourmet shop that was having a cooking demonstration. She sampled the buffet of treats while she watched the chef deftly perform his job. It was times like this she questioned her life. If she didn't travel most of the year, she would have probably met someone to cook for. She might even have some little someones running around the kitchen while she prepared dinner. Oh, she knew she had an idealized view of marriage and family but, the longer she stayed on the road the more she yearned for roots. She left before she got too depressed and checked her watch. She should get to the Kennedy Center and speak with the conductor about the cuing for tomorrow night's concert since she'd missed rehearsal. She was heading toward the taxi stand when there was a sudden downpour. She ran as she opened the umbrella. She was almost to the corner where the cabs were parked, when she felt a force roughly equal to that of a speeding locomotive hit her. The next thing she knew, she was sitting on the wet pavement watching the hotel's umbrella tumble down the street like sagebrush.
She looked up to see a compellingly handsome face and a hand held out to her. She took the hand. He pulled her to a standing position.
"I'm very sorry, I didn't see you. Are you all right?" the rich deep voice asked.
"Yes, just wet."
"Here." he said, guiding her to a cafe a short distance down the block."Let's get out of the rain."
He opened the door and, with his hand at her back steered her to a table. They took off their coats and he hung them on a rack on the wall.
"Would you excuse me a moment?" she asked as she walked to the back. She was sure this was where she'd find the Ladies Room. She slipped inside to assess the damage. Not too bad really.Just a little runny mascara which she wiped away and then blended the shadow that had gathered in the creases of her eyelids. With just a fresh application of gloss her face looked fine. She went to comb her hair and noticed the tendrils drying around her face were quite flattering so she left them as they were.
Meanwhile, Walter ordered for them and relived the last few moments.
He had left the cemetery and was driving around aimlessly when he was sure he'd spotted Danielle from behind walking down the street. It couldn't be her of course but, the details were astoundingly close. She was elegantly tall, had the same posture and contours. And the same beautiful legs. He only got glimpses of her on the crowded sidewalk so he parked in the first open space and followed her on foot. He was weaving his way through pedestrians when it started to rain.
People scattered for cover and he broke into a run as she rounded a corner. He had almost caught up to her. The odd thing was, once he'd turned the corner, there wasn't a soul around except the woman he'd bumped into. The woman who was just coming out of the bathroom.
"I ordered tea for you. I hope that's alright." he said knowing the pot contained about two and a half cups and it would take her a while to finish it.
"Tea's fine." she replied. "Except I don't drink with strangers."
she said with a smile.
"Oh, my name's Walter Skinner." he said, producing his ID to assure her she was safe with him.
"What do you do at the FBI?"
"I'm an assistant director."
"Of what?"
"Criminal investigations." he chuckled cause *he* was usually the
one doing the questioning. "And who are you?" he asked.
"Bri."
"Just Bri?"
"Yes."
"Ah, a woman of mystery." he noted.
She smiled cause he really didn't recognize her. She was going to enjoy her anonymity.
"Why, what do you really need to know about me?" she challenged.
"Everything eventually but, for the moment, nothing." he answered just as cryptically. She looked vaguely familiar but, he wouldn't fall back on the oldest line in the world 'Haven't I seen you somewhere before?' or words to that effect.
They talked as they drank. Brianne was an expert at deflecting questions so he didn't get to find out much more than she was visiting town and she was staying at The Hay. The coffee was working its way through him and he had to excuse himself to the Men's Room.
When he returned a few minutes later, she was gone and an envelope was on the table. He opened it to find a ticket for The Kennedy Center and a backstage pass for the next night. He looked at the name on the ticket: Brianne MacKenna.
A light bulb lit above his head. Of course he had seen her, her likeness had appeared on posters and the sides of buses for weeks advertising her concerts both tomorrow and Saturday nights.
He pocketed the envelope, paid the cashier and made a note to check on the condition of his tuxedo.
end part 1
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