Work Text:
Jingle Bells
by Scribe
Dashing through the snow
when I could be warm inside.
I can think of lots I'd rather do
than suffer through this ride.
My boyfriend, who's a jerk,
thought this would be a gas.
If I can just unlock my knees,
I'll kick him in the...
Oooo...
Jingle bells, I'm in hell.
My nose is turning blue.
The next time he invites me out
I'll tell him what to do.
Jingle bells, this really smells.
I'm numb now where I sit.
His car has heated leather seats
and I'm freezing off my tits.
A day or two ago
I met this handsome stud.
I thought he'd be a real hot date:
instead he was a dud.
His body's smokin' hot,
but he has an empty head.
He tried to give a Christmas goose
He got The Bird instead.
Oooo...
Jingle bells, please don't tell.
I finally had enough
I kicked his ass clean off the sleigh
and left him eating dust (or snow).
I'm sure he'll make it back
and probably won't freeze.
As for that howling in the air--
it's just wind in the trees.