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Top five things the Doctor did not do (and one he did)
by Josette Grover
slashsister@gmail.com
5. The Doctor did not shake his fist and scream at the sky, 'you killed Ken. . . err, Jack, you bastard' when Jack was killed yet again.
4. The Doctor did not blink or smirk when Jack fell into some alien mud that dyed 'unmentionable' spots on the other man blue for a week. And his orders to 'drop your trous and bend over the table' was purely medicinal.
3. The Doctor was in no way involved in the laundry accident that destroyed all of Jack's underwear until they could get somewhere where they could buy more. He was also not seen looking at Jack's arse as the other man went around commando.
2. The Doctor will not mention the time on Alpha Omega 5, or the properties of the 'sacred pool' where Jack bathed. All he will admit is that Jack did make a beautiful woman, and that he didn't know it turned men into women or caused women to grow or regrow certain parts of their anatomy. His companion had recovered. . . eventually. And it's not his fault that the only way to turn him back had been intercourse, and lots of it. At least he hadn't become pregnant like those who normally bathe in the pools. Though for a while there. . . Nope, the Doctor isn't going to think about how Jack had made a beautiful woman, long hair, large breasts, a tiny waist and legs that went on forever. Or how it had felt to bury his face between those legs, the cries Jack had made as he brought her off with his mouth before unzipping his pants, pulling out his erection, and sliding home in her body.
1. The Doctor hadn't took Jack and Rose to the pleasure planet, booking a room in the clothing and sex optional resort and spent the entire trip with his companions in his lap playing 'hide the summer sausage'. Nor were his companions seen walking funny the whole trip with strange smiles on their lips. Nope, not at all. . . and anybody who says different and claims to have pictures is a liar, and he'll let Jackie deal with them. After all, Rose is her baby girl. Rose is a good girl, she's still a virgin who doesn't walk around starkers on strange planets, or have sex with two men at the same time, especially not in public. After all, a girl tells her mother everything doesn't she?
0. The Doctor did walk naked across the room to the bed where his mate slept, sliding under the covers and receiving an armful of sleepy Jack Harkness the second he's settled. 'You okay love?' he says, bending down to kiss the dark hair as his husband falls back to sleep before sliding one hand down to cradle the swell that is their child.
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