Work Text:
Acceptance
by JE
There were many times when Charlie was confronted with things that scared him. Emotions that were unfamiliar and difficult to interpret, the behaviour of other people at times and being confronted with all kinds of horror while helping Don solve cases that were wonder some and didn’t really fit into his logical world, but in the end he was still able to accept them.
But this latest emotion was harder to accept. Or to be exact, the reality of it being without a chance in real life was hard to accept. Not only was it heavily frowned upon by everybody else, but he was pretty sure that Don would never feel the same for him.
He had only recently realised that the constant urge to prove himself to Don and get his approval had turned into so much more. It was easy to accept his attraction to his older brother and after some time he had come to accept the fantasy that would invade his mind and Don soon became his one reason to live. If only it wouldn’t be so hard to keep these feelings hidden. He knew that if he made any advances Don would reject him and the closeness they had now would be gone and that was the last thing he wanted. He needed to be around Don. He had always depended on it to some extension and the thought of losing it for real was not acceptable. It had been too hard when Don had left after they graduated high school, but back then he had his numbers to help him deal. By now, his numbers wouldn’t be enough to save him and that scared him even more, the knowledge that he couldn’t survive Don’s rejection.
That combined made it so difficult for him to accept his feelings for Don.
~***~
He was startled out of his thoughts by Don entering the garage and saying, "Hey buddy."
Turning around, Charlie froze. There was something unidentifiable in Don’s eyes that made his stomach twist and turn. A feeling he rarely had felt before and the few times had been shortly before he did something huge for the first time, namely his first day at school, his first day at high school, his first day at Princeton and his first day teaching a class. But how did this moment fit into all of it?
Something of his confusion must have shown in his eyes as Don stepped closer and instead of stopping in front of Charlie, pulled him into a hug. Don whispered something into his ear that Charlie couldn’t concentrate on. All that mattered was being this close to Don. It made his heart beat faster and to his own horror all of his blood pooled in his groin. He was mortified when he knew that Don would feel his erection pressed against his leg.
When Don pulled back, Charlie feared the worst, but instead of being pushed away Don looked at him for a moment before leaning down and capturing his lips in a kiss. Charlie was too shocked to react. Was this a dream? A hallucination? And then Don’s tongue asked for entrance into his mouth and Charlie surrendered willingly, figuring that if this was a hallucination then he should use the opportunity.
Charlie was breathing hard when Don broke the kiss and whispered, "Nobody can know."
"So this is real?" asked Charlie, looking at Don pleadingly.
Don smiled in return, "As real as you want it to be. I’ve wanted it for so long but never dared to do anything, but I knew I couldn’t resist you any longer."
"I won’t tell anybody," promised Charlie and pulled Don down for another kiss. Maybe he could accept his feelings for Don after all, especially now that he wasn’t alone in the fight to keep it hidden from everybody else. And it was so easy to accept all of a sudden as Don pushed him against one of the blackboards he had been working on.
The End