SquidgeWorld Archive

Title: Adventures in baby-sitting. Non-Sylum.
Author: Tracey J. (Need4speed_le)
Rating: FRT, for language, M/M kissing.
Warnings: AU, established couples, mention of slash. 
Beta: Ash/Jack V.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Katherine Delko belongs to the author.
Summary: Speed goes Christmas shopping while baby-sitting. 
Type: Slash: Speed/Horatio, Eric/Calleigh (just mentioned), established relationships. No angst.
Author's Notes: This takes place around Christmas time. Eric & Calleigh have a 6 month old daughter, OFC, Katherine Delko, AKA Kitty Kat or Kat.
Fandom: CSI: Miami 

"We're WHAT?!" shouted Speed, coming out of their bedroom.

"We are ba-by-sit-ting", Horatio replied slowly, thinking Speed had misunderstood him.

"I thought we were going Christ-mas-shop-ping," Speed spit back, imitating H.

"We're going to do both," H stated "I'll just have two kids to keep an eye on instead of one."

"Ha! Ha!"

Speed rolled his eyes, looking around the apartment. "So, who are we watching? Madison?"

"No, Katherine, your goddaughter," H said, pointing to the baby in the carrier sitting next to the couch "While Calleigh and Eric do some shopping of their own."

"Why? She's only six months old. It's not like she's going to know what Eric and Calleigh are doing anyway."

"I know, but I thought that they would like a break for a few hours."

"So, you 'volunteered' us," Speed said, chuckling slightly, putting his arms around his lover's waist, and kissing him gently. "I was just hoping we could have some alone time."

"Well, the sooner we get going, the sooner we can get home, and spend some time together, alone."

"Let's get going then," Speed said as he grabbed the baby in the carrier/car seat. He looked at the baby "Hey, Kitty Kat!"

"You know how Eric hates for you to call her that," Horatio said as he grabbed the overstuffed baby bag.

"Why do you think I do it?" Speed smiled wickedly. He leaned over to kiss H again, but the diaper bag got in the way.

"What the hell is in that thing?" Speed grumbled "The kitchen sink?"

"No," H sighed, moving the bag to his other shoulder and giving Speed a quick kiss. "Just diapers, bottles, a change of clothes, wipes, that kind of stuff." Then they headed out the front door.

"Oh, so where are we headed?" Speed asked, as he put Kat in the Hummer, before climbing in the back seat with her, to strap the car seat in, and to keep an eye on her.

"I figured the mall would be best," Horatio replied, putting the bag in the back seat with Speed, and putting his seat belt on for him. Speed rolled his eyes, but H kissed him passionately, letting his hand move slowly back over Speed's lap, getting a wicked smile on his face when he got the desired groan from his partner.

"We can get our Secret Santa gifts, and gifts for each other there," H continued, as he climbed into the driver's seat, and they headed out of the driveway.

After driving for a bit, Kat got a little fussy, so Speed leaned over and tickled her.

"Hey, Kitty Kat," he cooed, "Weady to go shop-ping?" That question got him a giggle from both Kat and H.

H looked in the rear view mirror at Speed, as they'd stopped at a red light near the mall, watching him play with Kat.

"You know," H said, matter-of-factly "You'd make a good dad."

Tim looked up at him, questioningly, "Why? Because I can make her laugh?" he sighed, sadly "That's about all I could do right as a father."

"You don't know that," H said "You'd be better than --" He was interrupted by his cell ringing.

"Yes, Mr. Wolfe?"

"I see," he replied, as they pulled into the mall parking lot. He looked back at Speed, and mouthed Dead Body. Speed unhooked his seatbelt, and started getting Kat ready to get out. He looked in the back of the Hummer to see the stroller, motioned for H to pull up near the doors.

"OK, Ryan, give me the address," H said, as he put the Hummer in park and grabbed a notebook and pen.

Speed got out and went around back to get the stroller. He spotted a smaller bag in the bottom of the stroller, so when he went back around front, he transferred a few diapers, a couple of bottles, a bib, and the baby wipes into the smaller bag. He looked at the clothes, but decided that since he'd only be a couple of hours, she wouldn't need her pajamas. He then removed the car seat and attached it to the stroller.

"I'll meet you there," H hung up. He watched as Speed put the big diaper bag back on the seat, then looked at him questioningly.

Speed just shrugged, and said "I can't carry that big old thing and watch Kat too, as I shop."

"Besides," he continued "I don't need all that crap."

"Watch your language around the baby," H said, as Speed climbed far enough over the seat to give him a goodbye kiss.

"Yes, 'dad'" Speed chuckled "Don't worry, we'll be good."

"I'll call you when I'm done at the scene," Horatio said "This may take a while, though."

"So may my shopping for you," Speed replied, with a wink.

"Have fun, you two!" H said as Speed closed the door, making sure Kat was secure in the stroller and waving to H as he pulled away.

"Well, let's get going," Speed said to Kat.

Their first stop was the restroom, to check Kat's diaper. She was wet, so he changed her quickly then used the facilities himself.

See, H, I can handle this, he thought.

"So," he said to Kat "Where shall we start?" She stared at him blankly, looking like she was going to go to sleep.

"Good choice," he continued the one-sided conversation "We should start with Horatio. Hmm? What does he need?" He paused to think about that "I'm not sure."

They went over to the directory, studying it intently.

"Well, he has plenty of suits. What's that Kat? Silk boxers?" He chuckled wickedly.

"Why, you little devil, you! Quit reading my mind. Let's see, there's a men's store right there. Let's go!"

As he headed to the store, he remembered something in his pocket.

"Oh, yeah, my Secret Santa present. Now, who did I get?" He wondered as he pulled out the piece of paper and unfolded it "I got Alexx. What should I get my mom, and your grandma?"

He looked at Kat, who had fallen asleep.

"Well, you're not going to be any help, are you?"

He started to head back to the map, but then saw the sign for Santa.

"That's it!" he shouted, getting several stares from people around him, but not caring.

"We'll get our picture taken with Santa. She'll love it!"

He then looked closely at Kat and noticed that she wasn't in one of her usually frilly outfits.

Well, the one time you don't wear a fancy dress, and we're going to get our picture taken. At least H convinced me to wear my silk shirt, but she won't care what you're wearing. She'll love it anyway.

With that, he giggled like a giddy schoolgirl, and headed toward the men's store.

This shopping trip won't take any time at all, he thought.

As they passed the line to see Santa, his enthusiasm deflated somewhat, seeing all the kids with their parents. Well, maybe the line will be shorter later.  

As Speed pushed the stroller through the men's store, he noticed that several women were watching him intently. One of the female employees came up to him, and asked him if he was trying to pick out something for his daughter to give him.

"No," he replied, sarcastically "I'm trying to pick out something for my boy-friend."

"Oh," she said disappointedly before walking away, mumbling about there being too many good-looking gay men with babies.

About that time, Kat woke up and was grumpily, so Speed got a bottle out and held it with one hand as he looked at boxers for H.

"What's that, you say? Red boxers, to match his hair? Good choice."

He picked out a couple pairs of red ones, and an extra pair of blue ones, to match H's eyes, then put the bottle away, and went up to the register to pay.

A different employee was at the register, and made a big deal over Kat. Speed just smiled, and after getting his purchases headed out of the door. The other employee was standing near the door, and told him that there was a sale on sex toys at Spencer's, to go with the boxers he just bought.

He thanked her for the suggestion, even though he realized that she was being sarcastic.

Before they headed to Spencer's, he remembered that he needed to burp the baby, so he took her out of the stroller. After he burped her, he played with her some, even throwing her into the air, making her laugh.

When they neared Spencer's, Speed looked down at Kat, and realized that shaking her up so much right after feeding her was a bad idea, as most of her bottle proceeded to come back up at that moment.

"Oh, Kitty Kat, I'm sorry," he apologized to her as he headed to the nearest men's restroom. He was glad that Horatio had picked a mall that was more "politically correct," in that they had changing areas in the men's room as well as the women's.

Now I know why H wanted me to bring the full diaper bag, he thought to himself, as he started to undress Kat. Just then, Kat thanked him by throwing up on the sleeve of his silk shirt.

"Shit, Kat," he hollered, then ducked his head, and kissed her on the forehead "Sorry 'bout the language."

What can I put the dirty clothes in? He thought then looked at the bag that held H's boxers.

He took the boxers out and put them in the small diaper bag, with the receipt, in case someone thought that he stole them as he put Kat's outfit and his silk shirt in the bag.

"Good thing I wore a t-shirt today," he said to Kat "Otherwise, I would be almost as naked as you are." He tickled her as he put her back in the stroller.

He scrounged around in the small diaper bag and put a bib on Kat, so that her chest was covered anyway. After they left the restroom, they stopped at a directory, and noticed that the nearest store that was specifically for kids was back near the middle of the mall, but they were right next to Spencer's, so he decided to go in there first, and then head to get Kat a new outfit.

While looking at the adult items, wondering if H would like a rainbow lollipop shaped like a cock, he noticed some baby outfits off to one side. Speed decided against the lollipop, since he never knew when Madison might come over and see it, and went over to look at the bibs.

He laughed at the one, "My baby can kick your baby's ass!" He almost got it, knowing that Eric would get a kick out of it, too, but Calleigh would string him up . . . or shoot him.

Then he gasped, when he saw a Guns 'N Roses onesie.

"Oh, Kitty Kat, look what Uncle Speed found for you!" he said, as he held one up for her to see, "Now we can match when we get our picture taken with Santa, although mine is a bit faded."

He looked at the different sizes, getting a bit confused. "Since you're 6 months, do I get the 3-6 months, or the 6-9 months?" As usual, Kat just stared at him blankly.

"Lot of help you are," he said, sighing, but the girl at the counter overheard his question, and came over to help him.

"It would be best to get the 6-9 months, so that he can wear it for a while."

"Thanks miss," he replied, not correcting her: since Kat wasn’t wearing anything pink, the girl couldn't tell the baby's gender.

"I'll put it up at the counter for you, while you finish your shopping," she said, going back to the counter, to check out someone waiting up there.

Tim went back to looking at the other baby things, and picked up some black booties, to go with the black outfit. He also picked out an adult card game for Horatio.

He went up to the register and checked out, and asked the cashier to remove the tags on the outfit and socks so he could put them on the baby.

After going back to the restroom to dress Kat and change her diaper, they headed back to where Santa was, and Speed was back to his original, enthusiastic mood. The line was shorter, so they didn't have to wait long to get up to Santa.

Even though he was a little embarrassed, he sat on Santa's knee, holding Kat and smiling brightly for the camera. One of the elves took Kat and put her back in the stroller as Santa asked Speed what he wanted for Christmas.

"I have all I've ever wanted," he said to him, a big smile on his face, thinking about Horatio and their relationship "I just hope that it lasts forever."

"Well," said Santa, "That's a very good thing to want. I'll see what I can do." He handed Speed a candy cane and one for Kat, and Speed went over to pay for the picture. When he looked at it, he decided to get two copies, one for Alexx and one for himself.

After getting the two pictures, his stomach reminded him that he hadn't had anything to eat yet, so he headed up to the food court.

After grabbing a quick bite to eat, he decided to call H, and see how he was coming along, but found out that he'd be several more hours at the scene. Horatio did tell him that a different ME came to the scene, so Alexx probably could come pick him and Kat up, since she lived nearby.

He called her, and she said that she was already at the mall, and that she'd meet them at the food court.

Seeing Alexx coming towards him with her hands full, he went over to her and took her packages letting her push the stroller.

"How's my grand-baby doing?" she asked, then gasped at the outfit that she was wearing. "What the hell is she wearing, Timmy!?" She exclaimed, as she hit him on the shoulder.

"What did you do that for?" he grimaced, rubbing his shoulder. "She threw up on her other outfit, and I didn't want her running around naked, so I bought her a different outfit. It's got a rose on it," he pointed out "So she still looks like a girl." He gave Alexx his infamous hurt, puppy dog eyes look, and she quickly forgave him, kissing him on the cheek.

"You did good, baby," she said "I just wonder why Eric sent her out with you, without an extra change of clothes?"

Speed just rolled his eyes, and shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to explain further.

"So," he asked, as he put the packages and the stroller in the trunk of Alexx's car "Did you get all of your shopping done? I did. I got my present for my Secret Santa and for H." He buckled the car seat in the back, and then got into the front with Alexx.

"Actually," Alexx said, thinking "I thought I had until you just mentioned our Secret Santa, but I'll do that later. Right now, I should get the two of you home before it starts to rain."

The ride back to his place was uneventful, and Kat was asleep when they got there.

"See you tomorrow," Speed said to Alexx after hugging her good-bye, "Thanks for the ride home."

After she pulled out of the drive, and he went inside, he took Kat out of the seat and held her while she continued to sleep.

"Maybe Horatio is right," he said quietly "Maybe I would make a good dad."

He continued talking to her as he took his shoes off, and sat down on the couch.

"I didn't panic when you threw up, and I got you something else to wear. I did learn a valuable lesson: never shake a baby after you feed them."

He got comfortable on the couch.

"Although, that trick might come in handy at the Christmas party, if Stetler shows up." He chuckled at the thought, then thought of poor Kitty Kat and the look of terror that might be in her eyes at the prospect of being held by Rick Stetler. He cuddled her close "Well, maybe I won't be that mean to you."

And with that, uncle and baby settled down for a long winter's nap.

The End