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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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FIRST IMPRESSION

Summary:

What was going through Scotty's mind when he met Kevin.

Work Text:

 

 

FIRST IMPRESSION  by Natasha Barry

Based upon BROTHERS AND SISTERS, Kevin/Scotty. Posted to Squidge 2007, edited 2023. Getting into the psyche of Scotty from when he first met Kevin.

Scotty Wandell’s first impression of the attorney, Kevin Walker, was “straight guy.”  Quickly followed by a pull in his gut and the realization “HOT straight guy.”  The disappointment caused a reflex reaction within himself so he found himself providing the very opposite of a butch act.  In fact, within himself he marveled at his precise impersonation of a very queenly, queen.  So much so, that one part of him – divorced from reality – awarded himself critical praise, while another part sought to identify the hot attorney guy as being as plain and featureless as that wall that lined the corridor or the view from the spectacular office he entered. 

No way would he try to examine that man’s ass. 

And look at that view!  Hot Attorney (straight!) Guy was definitely big guns!  Then again, he was a partner in this law firm.  Young, for a partner; at least Scotty supposed so.

As Hot Attorney Guy settled behind the classy desk and his own brand of transplanted southern boy settled into the chair opposite, Scotty allowed himself to catalog the other’s assets:  Tall, handsome, curly hair, the kind of blue eyes only found in nature, and a mouth he’d only read descriptions of in books, therefore proving it existed in reality.  The voice emitting from that face was deep yet somehow comforting; the expression behind the voice too serious, but then again they did have a job to do here.

One careless remark from Hot Attorney (straight?) Guy and the cultivated façade was crumbling.

After a reluctant admittance from the man – Kevin Walker – he was gay, a suddenly energized Scotty Wandell found himself out of his chair, and across the office, as if to take in the man, the environment, and basically whatever else he could, while he had the chance, as if the attorney would have him ejected at any moment.

A gay man hoping to pass as straight.  Who would have thought it.  Scotty well knew if he auditioned for straight, he’d never pass, so his agent put him out for gay roles.

These straight-acting gays, so highly prized, were in the minority, and only one baby-step out of the closet.

“I’m out and proud,” the newly unveiled Kevin Walker claimed, but Scotty wasn’t buying it.  No gay man wore a suit like that, let alone worked at such a straight job.

A “Wow!” at the bookshelf when he realized he was face-to-face with an embracing couple, one of whom he’d just accused of trying to pass for straight.  Which he was, as Hot Attorney Guy’s reaction of “How’d you know?” had given that game away.  Yet evidently Kevin Walker was as OUT as he proclaimed he was, if this photo was any indication.  The man with a smug looking Kevin Walker was good-looking and also chipper, but beyond that Scotty couldn’t discern much, but he did reckon a happy Kevin Walker was even hotter than a dour looking Kevin Walker, because of the beam from those blue eyes and the beautiful smile on that handsome face.  The man needed to be more relaxed, more often, as it suited him, Scotty reckoned, especially as he considered himself to be as relaxed as it was possible for a human being to be.

The ex-boyfriend specification from Kevin reassured Scotty, who would have continued the conversation, only now a figurative shoe was being pounded atop the desk, by an impatient attorney who’d been hijacked from his duties long enough.  Scotty supposed he had taken advantage of the other’s discomfiture; so to do other than comply would imply he was into applying psychological torture.

They returned to their formal posture, with questions and answers as the recorder was once again switched on, the attorney making his copious notes, Scotty answering the questions put to him quite honestly, but his eyes were busy examining the hunched figure, appreciating the beauty of that face – he even had a clear complexion! - and what he could guess of that fit body, even the fingers holding the pen were slender.  He knew Kevin Walker would be a notch in the belt for most, and certainly the man would know he rated highly on the gay hotness scale, but did this attorney ever relax enough to enjoy himself, romantically that is?

Scotty wondered if the boyfriend had taken a hike cause he was tired of holding second place to what looked to be a huge workload.

Anyway, he assumed it was the boyfriend took the high road.  Kevin seemed too dispassionate to care.  Who leaves the old boyfriend photo on the shelf, anyway?  Obviously not a lot of residual pain there.

“We’re done, for the moment.” Kevin again turning off the recorder.

“Great.  How about a coffee?  I saw a place down the block.”

"There's always a place down the block. Or in the building. I have it brought in.”

Great, of course he would, Scotty was thinking, allowing the straight-acting attorney probably wasn’t buying his brand of sexy southern charm, at least not when it was presented in the character of a flamboyant drama queen.  Especially a flamboyant drama queen that had been inappropriately quizzing Hot Attorney Guy about his being Hot Attorney Gay.  Too bad he’d adopted the pose as a defense mechanism against presumed Hot Attorney Guy (straight).  But too late now to revise first impressions, at least too late today.

He did think Hot Attorney Gay was intent on preserving his own first impression.

Scotty was uncomfortable with his performance, but excused himself. If Kevin had been more obviously gay he wouldn’t have fallen into that regrettable pattern. 

“You need to see me again?”  Unfortunate, the way he phrased it, and he sensed it anew as Kevin had an odd look on his face.

“We’ll continue this.  You can work the details with Reception.  We can work around your schedule.”

“That's adjustable,” thinking on his variety of temp assignments, and their durations.  “You don’t need a receptionist, do you?”  After all, that was one in a long line of temp jobs he’d had on his way to presumed stardom.  “I have experience.” He hoped the man would forgive him the admitted eavesdropping which involved him in this case.

“We have a few,” Kevin said, as if secretly amused. 

Scotty liked the twinkle in those blue eyes as they expressed humor, though the attorney’s casual attitude quickly faded in regards him.  It was the sparkle in those eyes, hinting at a certain snide appreciation of the vagaries of life, that twigged him this man was gay as well.

Hot package; lots of money; major education.  Scotty better not be liking this guy, as Kevin was so far out of his league, what could he possibly have to offer in compensation?  It wouldn’t surprise him if Kevin had a mans in Beverly Hills.

As he was shown out of the office, Scotty surreptitiously absorbed the height and breadth of the man, and soon he was passing a couple obviously making for the same office he’d vacated.  Automatically, he surveyed the woman’s attire, coming out with “Nice shoes,” even though it probably deepened the bad impression Kevin already had of him.  He overheard the “Don’t ask,” from his attorney, which came out in a groan.

He’d obviously made a very bad impression indeed. 

It seemed odd to him upon his return to those offices he ran into the same woman exiting Kevin’s office, and this time he was no first-time visitor needing to be ushered into it.  Was the man a revolving door of continuing appointments?  But the attractive woman did something he wished he had leave to do:  she kissed his attorney on the cheek.

He needed to find out who she was. Could she be a wife or girlfriend, even if the man was displaying photos of ex-boyfriends?

Obligingly Sarah introduced herself, with Scotty offending Kevin by saying he’d assumed she was his “beard.”  For the life of him, he couldn’t stop himself from making these digs.

Scotty realized he was obsessed with Kevin’s outward appearance of straightness, when that suggestion of straightness was the most valued commodity in the gay man’s world.

He knew he couldn’t pack it on himself, and wondered how Kevin did, unless the man had gone through a long period of being closeted, and was still coming to terms with being out.

“Your brother’s a peach." He was relieved to be informed her relationship to Hot Attorney Kevin, especially as he already knew the man didn’t appear to be dating, at least not anyone in particular.  If he was, he wouldn’t have the ex-boyfriend’s picture on a shelf, was Scotty’s Sherlockian deduction for the day.  Also, it was his way of complimenting Kevin, indirectly.  But as there was no reaction from Kevin or Sarah, Scotty wondered if the southern expression confused them.  He’d called Kevin a “beauty” and the man didn’t notice.  Then again, it could be as he’d been the one to compliment Kevin on his looks, and as he wasn’t someone Kevin cared about, the compliment was deserving of no appreciation.

“He’s not complimenting you but insulting me,” Kevin specified to his sister, Sarah, and Scotty knew he’d gone overboard yet again when he’d inferred Kevin was the older sibling.  Now he wondered what the difference in ages was between the two.  In stroking the one’s vanity, he’d offended the other.  Obviously, he needed to go back to charm school and relearn those lessons.

Kevin only noticed him when he was committing a social gaffe.  But in this case, he’d actually meant to compliment Sarah, as women were so sensitive on the age issue.  Then again, Scotty brought himself up short, so were gay men.  It was straight men who definitely had the superior attitude here.

Insulting Kevin came easily, whether due the clothing, the office, the demeanor, the flush status the man projected.

He detected an undercurrent between the siblings, and shouldn’t have accepted the invitation to the family party, which he sensed was a play in some kind of dominance game between them, hence he was brought in as a ringer.  But it was an irresistible opportunity to push his acquaintance with Kevin into the social realm.  Any occasion that would push the young man out of himself, with no excuse to talk about the case and nothing but the case, as Kevin was holding onto that excuse as a way of effectively keeping Scotty at a distance.

Maybe there was revenge in the acceptance, since Kevin Walker was so determined he wasn’t the right man for Scotty Wandell that he wasn’t even considering the possibility.

Would Kevin notice this Scotty was less overtly gay than the last?  Scotty was working on it; he really was.  But seeing Kevin again, the man was newly intimidating.

Settled in the office, Scotty had another personal observation to make. “You should always wear blue; brings out your eyes.”  He hoped to deflect any retraction of invitation Kevin hoped to put out there.

Kevin gave him a sharp glance, but otherwise ignored the comment.

On the other hand, Kevin might have heard the same thing from many men over the years.  Women too, since he came off as straight, and likely on the receiving end of lots of flirtations and invitations.  Maybe there were genuine girlfriends in the background, or even a kid.

Scotty wondered what treatment he was in store for when they met up at the pool party Sarah was organizing. 

Kevin deflected any attempt Scotty made at turning their conversation personal, and Scotty succumbed, knowing he’d get his chance at the party Sarah invited him to.

Apart from a poor start – with Kevin awkwardly accepting his tray of cupcakes and informing him this occasion was definitely unprofessional behavior – Scotty found the cold, efficient, distant man known as Kevin Walker more approachable on his home turf, surrounded by family. This otherwise professional man was displaying casual tender affection, as well as being free with the quips which abounded with alacrity.  “You’re gay, all right.” He definitely appreciated the lawyer's wit.

He wondered if Kevin knew just how sexy he was.  Scotty really wanted that romance and now, but knew though Kevin was now talking to him, instead of at him, the most he might achieve was a state of cordial resistance.

Their conversation included a father figure who was an evolving disappointment. Turned out he’d died prior to Kevin’s and his meeting, which likely was another reason why the man was distant while Scotty was pushing their relationship so hard. Even the assumption Kevin wasn’t so good at fidelity.  These were fundamental issues which floored Scotty with their admission.

But as he told Kevin, you have to have something to be faithful to, though it might reflect poorly upon the father’s relationship with his wife, a mother Kevin obviously adored.  At least that was a fairly standard gay cliché, Kevin’s regard for his mother.

There was this evolving complexity to Kevin Walker he wasn’t prepared for.

A good-looking guy himself, Scotty Wandell set his heart on capturing the devotion of one Kevin Walker; their residing on different worlds notwithstanding.   He’d proven himself on determination, Scotty knew he could turn on the irresistible as well.

Maybe his photograph with Kevin would replace the one of Kevin with the nameless guy.  And maybe his chances would improve if he started acting more butch than he was. 



THE END