Work Text:
What Is a Lie?
by Jennie
"It was just one tiny little fib."
"A fib? You call that a *fib*?"
"Okay, okay, it was a lie."
"That's putting it mildly, don't you think?"
"Fine, it was a big fat lie, but ....."
"But *what*, Mac?"
"I was just trying to help you, Vic."
"Help me? By telling her that I'm *gay*?"
"Well, *you're* the one who's been whining about how the woman just won't back off."
"Great. Just fucking wonderful. I found *this* outside of my door this morning."
"She lent you a book, so what?"
"Listen closely while I read the title, asswipe, 'Coming Out Straight: Understanding and Healing Homosexuality'."
"Uhmmm." *Cough* "Honest,Vic, I was only trying to-"
"Help. Yeah, Mac, I remember."
*Knock, knock*
*Sigh* "Go let her in, Mac."
"Her?" *Groan* "Oh no. Not *her*."
"Yes, Ramsey. *Her*."
"Can't we just pretend no one's home, Vic? Please?"
"Not a chance, Ace. You started this. Now, answer. The. Door."
*Footsteps*
*Door opens*
"Hi, Wanda."
"Hey, Mac. Great to see you again. I just stopped to see if- Vic! Did you get the book?"
"Sure did. Where are your manners, babe? Invite our guest inside."
"Babe?"
"Don't get all shy on me *now*, Mac. We agreed, remember?"
"I... agreed?"
"To tell Wanda the truth."
*Cough* "Tr- " *Cough, cough* "Truth?"
*Door closes*
*More footsteps*
*Gasp* "Vic? Why are you...?"
"Why am I holding Mac's hand?"
"Er, yeah?"
"Well, Wanda, the thing is... we discussed this earlier and... Mac, maybe *you* should tell Wanda what's going on."
*Squeak* "I-I-I."
"Don't mind Mac, Wanda. He gets a little shy sometimes. I'm sure you understand."
"I... yeah. Sure. I guess."
*Chuckle* "Sorry, neighbor. Let me explain." *Deep breath* "Even though you just moved in last month, I - we - feel that... We can confide in you, right?"
"I... "
"What am I saying? Of *course* we can! I know you've been worried about me, Wanda. That I'm all alone. That I haven't been able to find a partner. That I might have better luck if I were straight. Well... you see, Mac and I have been together for quite some time now."
"Y-you have? Together as in... as in *together*, together?"
"Exactly! I knew you'd understand."
"Oh! I, um... Oooh!"
"Yes. And, you see, the thing is... our employers are kind of funny about the whole issue of homosexuality, so we try to keep it quiet. Not because we're ashamed. I mean, how could we be? But, neither of us can afford to lose our jobs - I'm sure you know how *that* is."
"Y-yeah, Vic. I do. Of c-course I d-do."
"There! See Mac? I *told* you she only gave me the book because she was worried about me. Wanda's not a homophobe."
"Er... right. Not a homophobe."
"Why don't you go on in and get that book we bought for her, babe?"
"Book?"
*Chuckle* "Yes, Mac. The book. You left it on the bed. Your side, on the pillow, remember?"
"Bed. My side. Right. Getting it. I'll, um, be right back."
"You got me a book, Vic?"
"Actually, *we* got you a book. We thought it might help you. Help all of us. It's called, 'Between Gay and Straight: Understanding Friendship Across Sexual Orientation'."
"I... see."
"I just thought that you probably haven't known too many gay men and... We *are* friends. Friends and neighbors. So... Ah. Here it is. Mac? Don't just stand there, give her the book."
"Oookay. Here, Wanda."
"I hope it helps. Why don't you go on and get started reading, okay?"
"Y-yeah. I'll, um, I'll just g-go back to my apartment and... r-read. Yeah. Read. Thanks, Vic... and you too, Mac."
"Great! Feel free to call us if you have any questions."
"Call. Yeah. I'll, um, do that."
"Okay. Night, Wanda."
"Night."
*Footsteps*
*Door opens*
*Door Closes*
*Pause*
"Vic?"
"Yes, Mac?"
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but... That was you bitching about my lies earlier, wasn't it?"
"Yep."
"And that *was* you telling Wanda all about us being gay."
"Sure was."
"So... you *compounded* my lie."
"In a manner of speaking."
"Huh?"
"Not everything I told her was a lie, Mac."
*Pause*
"Not everything?"
*Smirk*
"Vic?"